(in a computerized voice) I am Quinn from Dorkon. I must go get a sprocket from my home planet, Dorkon! I am Quinn from Dorkon!
S2Robot Wars
I really would like to help, but I just don't believe in using my gift of science for violence.
S2Lola Likes Chase
When I'm acting, I'm playing a role.
So, just treat biology like an acting role! You know, play the part of a girl who's really good at biology!
That's pretty smart.
Well, I'm your tutor. I'm not supposed to say stupid stuff! [Lola laughs]
See, I told you you could do it. [Lola smiles, and laughs. He picks up a flower and gives it to her] For you.
Why are you giving me a flower?
So you can take it back to your dorm and study it.
[gives it back to him] Yeah, I don't think I want to.
Why not?
There's a spider on it.
Eah! [he drops it, and starts beating it with his tennis racket. Lola laughs, then he kicks it and she laughs some more]
Okay. Photosynthesis is the process by which plants use energy from sunlight to produce sugar. Which converts into-
You wanna go out with me?
Huh. Wow, that question had almost nothing to do with photosynthesis.
(Chase walks into the room, where Michael is listening to music on his Gio)
Michael. Michael! MICHAEL! (he takes the earbuds out of the Gio)
You interrupted tune time!
Lola asked me out!
Well, my goodness.
Yeah.
You were RIGHT to interrupt tune time.
Dude, this is serious!
I'm being serious! Lola's hot!
So, you think I should go out with her.
Sounds like a good idea to me.
Ok, who is she?
Who is who?
The girl you like.
What makes you think I like someone?
'Cause I'm smart. So, who is she? Does she go to PCA?
Uh... no. She's... from my hometown. Back home... in my town.
Okay, tell you what. We'll take you to see Restless in Love, but you girls are paying.
TTracy
Actually, you know what I'd rather see?
What?
TTracy
The jerk in the fountain.
Jerk in the fountain? What are you- [she pushes him into the fountain] OK, that was ridiculous!
Zoey! Would you rather...be stuck in an elevator for three days, or...make out with a monkey?
Stuck in an elevator. I ain't kissing a monkey!
Baby.
Let's see you kiss a monkey!
Bring me a monkey.
Maybe I will!
S2Spring Break-Up: TV Movie
Dude, everyone on planet Earth knows you love Zoey. The people on Neptune know it. Yeah, they're up there right now on Neptune saying: [in alien voice] Hey, did you know Chase loves Zoey? Why, yes I do, the whole galaxy knows; Nahahahaha.
You talk SO much.
The only person who doesn't know you love Zoey is Zoey. Why don't you just tell her already?
Because I don't want Zoey to know I love... [Logan walks in] brusselsprouts!
I told you, I'm not going to tell zoey I love her. I sent you a text.
No, you didn't.
Yeah, I did. See? [hands Michael his TechMate]
(nervously) Uh, you didn't send it to me.
I didn't?
No.
Then, who'd I send it to?
Z-Zoey.
(nervously) Z-Zoey?
[nods slowly]
[grabs TechMate] Zoey?! Oh my God! OH MY GOD! Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, Michael. Oh my God!
S2People Auction
CKCoach Keller
(running out of the sushi bar with a fire extinguisher in one hand and a clipboard in the other) Fire! Fire! Fire! Fire! Kazu, your grill's on fire!
Fire?! (He runs up the stairs. The others try to follow him until he stops them) No, stay back! Pull the fire alarm!
Where's the fire alarm?
AAll (except Kazu and Coach Keller)
Over there! (Zoey, Nicole, Lola, Chase, Logan, and Michael run to the fire alarm. Kazu runs up the stairs to Coach Keller)
Fire!
Oh, my goodness! (Zoey pulls a fire alarm. In the sushi bar, the fire is spreading. Morning comes, and the firefighters have put out the fire and are carrying everything out. Chase and Nicole come up to Dean Rivers and a depressed Kazu)
Morning, Kazu.
How bad was the fire?
Look, we all feel bad enough about the fire!
CKCoach Keller
Feeling bad doesn't fill my gut with raw fish, now does it, cupcake?! I am TICKED OFF!
Have you ever thought about an anger management class?
CKCoach Keller
That's it, Matthews. You just got yourself a slice of revenge pie!
Don't you think you're being a little hard on the boy?
CKCoach Keller
You too, Starky! Revenge pie!
You're going back to Japan?
No, I'm from Birmingham.
Oh.
S2Quinn's Alpaca
SSecretary
Dean Rivers, your wife is here to see you.
My wife? Uh, tell her I'm not here!
SSecretary
Mrs. Rivers, he's not in there.
RMrs. Rivers
Don't give me that! Carl! [she enters Dean's room with a bill] Carl, what kind of grown man spends $2000 on video games?! Carl?!? CARL!?!
[takes the voice command machine from under his desk] Dogs!
[a siren goes off, and dog barking noises are made. Mrs. Rivers panics, and runs out screaming]
Thank you, Quinn.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Zoey 101 pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.