TV show quotes
Quinn happens to be the perfect roommate!
Zoey, I'm about to iron my underwear. Want me to do yours?
I don't iron my underwear.
Whatever.
Yeah, she's a good one!
At least we don't fight all the time!
Neither do we.
Yeah, since you moved out, we've been getting along great.
(puts arm around Nicole) Yeah, best friends!
That's good for you. Bye!
(Zoey leaves) Don't ever touch me again!
Slob!
Jerk!
UGHH!!!
Sorry. I only get 15. And I gotta live.
What about you?
Sorry, kid. If I had money I'd lend it to myself, which I don't...So, I'm outta luck, and so are you!
What did he say?
No!
Hey, Quinn, you wanna play confess or stress with us?
How do you play?
Okay, so you roll the dice...
Yeah...
And if you land on an even number, you have to confess to something really embarrassing...
And if you roll an odd number, you have to do something stressful.
Like eat a poisonous bug?
Stressful... not lethal.
'Sup ladies!
We were just talking about you.
Can't blame you.
You're working with Logan now?
Well, I'm working, he seems to be watching.
I'm training you, so you can learn to make deliveries on your own.
Good. Now, that we know you're not delivering anymore, we'll order more often!
Logan's such a jerk.
A very cute jerk.
(on cell phone in phony Southern accent) Excuse me, sir, I'm calling about the mustard you ordered.
Um, I didn't order any mustard.
Yes, you did, you ordered nine thousand jars of mustard.
Who could eat that much mustard?
That's none of my business! So, what time would you like me to drop off the mustard?
But I don't even like mustard!
Then, why'd you order so much?
I didn't...
Why would I spread rumors about myself?
To trick us!
Nicole!
Hey, Kazu!
You're late!
I'm 10 minutes early!
No back sass!
Okay... just put the knife down!
(scans bear) That jerk!
What?
Let's go!
(Nicole, Quinn, and Zoey go back to Zoey's dorm)
Well?
That bear is broadcasting both audio and visual transmissions via broadband wavelengths to a remote digital receiver!
I knew it! What does that mean?
In English?
There's a webcam in that bear!
I knew it! Wait, I still don't know what that means.
Did you have anything to do with it?
Uh, come in?
Did you put a camera in a bear?
I don't think so, seeing as I don't have a camera... or a bear.
Chase.
Will you just tell me what's going on here?
That bear you and Logan gave us, it's got a webcam in it.
What?!
Don't act like you don't know.
I'm not acting. Zoey.
Where's Logan's computer?
Over there.
Hey, sushi's here!
Thanks, Chase, we love the free sushi!
Look, girls, I don't know if I can keep hooking you up with all this free sushi. I think my boss is starting to get a little suspicious.
Kazu?
Yeah, so listen, if anybody asks, just say...
Aha! I knew it!
Kazu!
You've been stealing all my sushi and giving it to these girls!
Uh, no, no, that's... that's not true.
Yes, it is! I'm going to tell the Dean. And then you will be... And then you will be...
Quinn, next card!
Expelled! You will be expelled!
Expelled?!
You're going to prison!
No!
(Zoey hits him on the head with a vase)
I'm sorry, I panicked!
He's out cold.
Oh, no, now, we're all gonna get expelled!
No, nobody's getting expelled!
But he's gonna wake up eventually and tell the Dean what happened!
Yes, that's why we have to get rid of him!
Let's tie him up and shove him in the closet!
Right! Then, late tonight, when everyone's asleep, we hot wire his car, and put Kazu in the trunk!
We'll drive him... to Mexico!
Did she say, "Mexico"?
Si!
But what if the Dean finds out?
She has a point.
Hey... he didn't see who hit him!
Right! We'll blame it all on... on... Logan!
Me?!
Okay! We'll blame the whole thing on Logan! Stealing the sushi, knocking out Kazu, everything!
They're gonna blame everything on me!
I heard.
Okay, quick, let's tie up Kazu and shove him in the closet.
I got the duct tape!
I gotta do something!
Ok, you go get the Dean.
I'm not gonna let Chase and those crazy girls frame me.
You go get em, man.
Kazu, I can explain.
So can I, you're fired! (chuckles) I feel like Donald Trump.
But, you got whacked in the head with a vase.
What?
You gotta hide Elvis.
Who's Elvis?
Our dog!
Doesn't PCA have a rule against pets?
Yeah, that's why we've been hiding him in our room.
But our DA smelled a dog!
DA, short for Dorm Adviser.
I know.
OK...that's short for okay
Stop it!
Well, anyway, our DA's getting all suspicious.
(To Zoey) Everyone gets hurt sometimes. You've never been hurt?
No, not by a big, dumb bully.
Well, then, maybe it's time. (he starts giving her noogies) Oh, yeah, that's right. She's in trouble now, give me your lunch money.
Quit it!
Give me your lunch money or I'll.... (Zoey bites his arm) Oww, did you bite me?
Maybe.
Oh, it's on.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Zoey 101 pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
