Zoey 101 quotes

Logan

What's your problem?

Quinn

Nothing, Logan. Just keep riding.

Logan

Have you been crying? What's wrong?

Quinn

Nothing!

Logan

C'mon. Talk to me.

Quinn

Mark broke up with me.

Logan

Oh, yeah. I heard you got dumped...(Quinn has a hurt look on her face)...Broken up with.

Quinn

Yeah, after two years.

Logan

Why did he dump...(Quinn looks hurt)...break up with you?

Quinn

'Cuz he fell for Brooke Margolin.

Logan

Oh, she's hot...(Quinn gives him a "Why would you say that?" look)...hot-ish.

Michael

(to the horse) You gotta quit following me around. (walks ahead then horse neighs) This is a school. You are not enrolled in it. Now, please, just go on home. (starts to walk away but horse follows) Will you stop following me around everywhere? Look, I'm not your owner and I'm not your friend. There, I said it.

Zoey

Michael.

Michael

What?

Zoey

Can I use your Jet-X?

Michael

It's back in my dorm.

Zoey

Oh, man!

Michael

What's the problem?

Zoey

I laid down in the lounge to take a 5 minute nap, which turned into a 45 minute nap, and if I don't get to class in...(checks her phone for the time)...four minutes, Mr. Thatcher's gonna give me a zero and ruin my life.

Michael

Well, uh...(looks at the horse)...I'll get you there...(jumps on horse)...give me your hand.

Zoey

Where did you get a horse?

Michael

No time for questions. Give me your hand. (Zoey reaches out to Michael, who gets her up on the horse. They ride off for class)

Zoey

This is insane.

Quinn

I mean, I guess I can't be mad at Mark.

Logan

Well, if it makes you feel any better, I think Mark's an idiot.

Quinn

Yeah, yeah, I know you hate him.

Logan

I don't hate him, I mean, he's an idiot for breaking up with you.

Quinn

Why do you say that?

Logan

I don't know, I mean, we all know you're weird...(Quinn looks away slightly insulted)...but you're smart, pretty, and you're kinda fun.

Quinn

Thanks.

Logan

Sure, and why are you dressed like that?

Quinn

I was trying to compete with Brooke.

Logan

Well, don't.

Logan

There's Quinn.

Logan

Weirdest. Day. Ever.

Quinn

Uh-huh.

Logan

Do you think he knows we're dating?

Quinn

He might, which is really bad!

Logan

I know! ...Wanna go make out?

Quinn

Absolutely!

Lola

And you'll fix it?

Zoey

Yes, I'm Zoey, you new? Come on, Dustin.

Lola

...Quit looking at my swimsuit. (Nick's way of saying "Quit looking at my boobs.")

Dustin

I'm not. You have a bug on your stomach.

Lola

[trying to knit her sweater] I am going to FIX you! ...After I eat that pudding. [she takes the pudding bowl from the pool table, but Michael takes it out of her hands]

Logan

So that's it?!

Michael

That's just it?!

Quinn

Yep!

Michael

So Dean Rivers is just fine with letting him go to school here?

Lola

Uh-huh.

Quinn

He wouldn't even listen to us.

Zoey

He just sat there making a teeny cheesecake.

Logan

Did you remind him that he beat up me, Michael and Chase?!

Michael

AND Del Figgalo!

Quinn

Well, Mark probably deserved it.

Lola

But he was your boyfriend.

Logan

Well, he's not anymore! [Zoey and James look at each other confused, and Quinn glares at him] Well, he's not.

Michael

I'm outraged! Out-raged!

Zoey

Me, too!

James

Now calm down. Have a capucchino.

Michael

We're gonna dish out a little comeuppance.

Logan

The little thing you wear on your tuxedo?

Logan

You're lame.

Lola

You're dumb!

Quinn

Leave him alone!

Michael

Just thought I'd invite you to come shoot some pool with me and Lola! ...But she's awful.

Lola

I heard that.

Michael

But she's got some really good hearing!

Lola

Is it wrong to be in love with a crabcake?

Michael

If it's wrong, then I don't want to be right.

Quinn

Did you guys know that crabs are omnivores that eat algae and fungus and worms?

Lola

Algae and fungus and worms?

Michael

Oh my!

Well, I guess someone doesn't understand what "banned" means.

Coco

Maurice, listen--

Oh, get out of my sight.

Coco

Wait. Why are you in the women's restroom?

Quinn

He likes the lollipops.

I want you and your little chicky friends outta here.

Lola

You can't throw us out!

Coco

Yeah. Look, Maurice--

[removes the girls from the women's restroom] Yes, I can throw you out. Turn around. There's the exit. Move. Move, ladies. Ladies. Must I call security on you? Out of my bathroom. Out of my restaurant.

James

What's going on?

Zoey

I don't know.

Quinn

Quit pushing us!

Lola

We are citizens!

Coco

Carl, help!

[gets up from his seat and stops Maurice] Hey! Hey! What's the deal, buddy?

The deal is get out unless you want me to call the police.

Coco

Make him let go of me.

Sorry, baby. I'm on parole. [takes his food from the table and leaves the restaurant]

Coco

[starts to cry]

James

Sir, what's the problem here?

Mind your own business.

Zoey

Don't talk to him like that.

Michael

And let her go.

Oh. Is she a friend of yours?

Michael

That's right.

Then all of you out of here! [the people at Vacarro get up from their seats and start to argue as the rest of the gang do the same when Maurice tries to throw Coco out of the restaurant] Come on, Coco. Get out, Get out, Get out, Coco.

Logan

Do you know who my father is?

You're never coming in here again. Banned, Coco. Banned.

Freaks!

Michael

But I just got a new mug!

Dean Rivers

Then fill it with chowder!

Michael

Chowder?

Zoey

Dang it!

Lola

Who says dang it?

Zoey

People who grew up in the South?

Zoey

Everyone! (Everyone in Zoey's dorm looks) We're about to get busted!

Quinn

Well, don't just stand there!

Lola

Hide everything!

Michael

I told you not to buy those cheap cups! (holds up a cardboard box that says "Kups") Don't buy cups with a "K"!

Logan

They're quality cups!

Michael

Look around!

Zoey

Well, none of the kids at PCA think it was fair of you to ban the coffee carts in the first place.

Dean Rivers

Who asked you?

Zoey

You just did.

Dean Rivers

Don't twist my words. When I ban something from this campus, it's banned! For you, for me, for everyone! [looks at Quinn's laser gun] And what is this thing? [picks it up]

Quinn

I wouldn't touch that.

Dean Rivers

I am the dean of this... (accidentally shoots a laser at his cupboard that destroys it)