Jack McFarland quotes from Will & Grace

Jack

They say that acting is reacting. I say that acting is attracting - are you attractive enough? [looking at class] I see a lot of puzzled faces, but not many attractive ones.

Jack

[interior monologue while playing soccer] Here I am, I'm fast and lean, I'm a mean machine, I'm...what rhymes with lean? Penis? Heh, penis.

Jack

Man, making someone gay is exhausting! I don't know how my mother did it!

Jack

I've helped a lot of people get in touch with their emotions and discover their sexuality. And by "theirs", I often mean mine.

Jack

...but when we get to Saint Bart's I swear I'm taking an EPT, and if it's blue I am not going through this alone!... again![1]

Jack

Well, this is just great. When we get to Saint Bart's I am buying myself an EPT, and if that stick is blue, I am not going through this alone! Not again!

Jack

The other guy couldn't get "erect"... I, however, could.

Jack

If Michelle Pfeiffer in Dangerous Minds has taught us anything, it's that it's so much easier to learn from attractive people.

Jack

Hey, wanna be my second choice for the movies? We can go to a family film and look for gay subtext.

Jack

Karen, I can't believe you're doing this. Eloping to Vegas! It's so romantic - taking your sacred vows in the city of water slides and titty bars.

Jack

How dare you call my friend dumb! If you really want to push a button, call him chunky!

Jack

Just because somebody's dead, it doesn't mean you can't celebrate their birthday. It's never too late. Look at George Washington. I never paid attention to him while he was alive, and now I get a day off of work!

Jack

Ah, you missed a great wrap-party at White Castle last night. Woho, it was off the hook!

Jack

When an opportunity comes along, I don't question it. I grab it, drop its wedding ring on the table and swing on it 'til dawn.

Jack

Karen! You're bending my ethnic porn!