Grace Adler quotes from Will & Grace

Grace

Eew. Eew. I think I just stepped in a puddle of throw-up. Throw-up makes me throw up.

Will

Quit jumping. You're gonna have two puddles.

Grace

Please look. Is that throw-up?

Will

Look for yourself! I'm not your vomit-looker.

Will

Leo, great. And Grace, best of luck.

Grace

Best of luck? Well thanks for coming to my Bat Mitzvah, Uncle Hochum! Have a safe drive back to Syosset!

Karen

I don't know what half those words meant.

Bobbi Adler

So, where are you kids going on your honeymoon?

Grace

We haven't really talked about it yet.

Oh! You should take her to your cabin.

Grace

You have a cabin?

Leo

Yeah, I go there to fish.

Grace

You fish?

Leo

Mm-hmm. I learned in Africa.

Grace

You were in Africa?

Leo

Yeah, when I was with Doctors Without Borders.

Grace

You were with Doctors Without Borders?

Rosario

Have you two met?

Grace

That was intense. What was that?

Will

That wasn't B.O. That was B.O.-My God!

Grace

What is the scent of that guy's air freshener, onion and feet?

Grace

Aww, look at her all nervous and shy. Like a teenage girl.

Will

Yeah...'Are You There God? It's Me, Satan.'

Grace

Karen, are you all right? You haven't touched your muffin.

Karen

Honey, please, since Stan left I've done nothing but touch my muffin!

Karen

C'mon, Grace. Let's get back in there. We've got a room full of lovely ladies. Let's put some music on and get those tops off.

Grace

You know it's not that kind of girl's night, right?

Karen

[smiles] We'll see.

Grace

Just a reminder: Tomorrow is my birthday. Just another reminder: My husband left me alone to help the needy, so the presents need to be bigger and better.

Will

I got you something great. Want a hint?

Grace

No! You know I have to be surprised. Remember two years ago, how mad I got when you left my present out for me to find?

Will

Left it out? It was hidden in a storage locker in Queens, which I rented under an assumed name. You bit through a combination lock!

Grace

Well, just make sure it doesn't happen again.

Jack

Gosh, Grace, it was so sweet of you to cook Will and Karen dinner.

Grace

Well, you know, I just figured after a long day at the divorce hearing, it would be nice to come back to a home-cooked meal.

Jack

You're so generous. I swear, if you weren't Jewish, you'd definitely go to heaven.

Grace

Thanks Jack. And if you weren't gay, you'd go there, too.

Leo

Why don't you go? I love you, but let's face it: The idea of you doing something selfless is a joke.

Grace

I love that you get me!

Karen

I hate Leo. Yeah.

Grace

What?

Karen

Yep. Hate him, hate him, hate him, hate him. He's dull, he's ugly and he don't make me laugh.

Karen

Beverley Leslie, with your pants so tight, won't you be my partner tonight?

Beverly

Ooh, I would be honored.

Leo

You think we can take 'em?

Grace

Please. Between the two of us, we've got eight feet on them.

Are you a Fanilow, too?

Grace

No, dear. I'm a doctor's wife.

Grace

Oh my God, you've got a sugar daddy!

Jack

This is so unfair! I'd do a sugar daddy for a horse. Hell, I'd do a horse for a sugar daddy!

Grace

I knew the minute you said that to Jack, you were doing the wrong thing, but I was helpless to stop you.

Will

You hopped on board. You made the final sale.

Grace

You hypnotized me with your Svengali-like powers.

Will

And yet I can't get you to stop biting your toenails.

Grace

How else do you get them shorter?