Vic quotes from What I Like About You

Vic

Hey, buy her a bottle of tequila - she might marry you!

Vic

Honey, I've been waiting for the perfect moment do this all day, but the truth is, any moment with you is perfect. So Val, I want to ask you in front of all the people you love... and Tina. Val, will you be already married to me?

Vic

You know what? I would ask you for the strawberries but you'd probably charge me for them. That's a burn!

Val

Noooooo!

Lauren

Val, wake up! Val!

Val

Lauren! Oh my god, I'm married. I got married!

Lauren

WHAT?!

Lauren

Oh! Me neither, and we're over thirty. I hate this game.

Val

Lauren, I had the worst nightmare - I dreamt that I called Rick up and cussed him out really bad and then went to Atlantic City and had a drink - or six - and then I married-

Vic?!

Vic

Honey, you really got to be more careful - you left your wedding ring on the sink. Hey Lauren, long time no see. What's up?

Lauren

Oh, you know, same old, same old. You?

Vic

She didn't tell you? We got hitched. Haha... (leaves the room)

Lauren

Vic? You've been dating Vic? You've been secretly dating Vic? And I knew there was a chemistry between you two when he was our boss, but you didn't want to date him because he was our boss and now you're married, how could you not tell me?!

Val

I didn't know?

Val

Ya... Ya... didn't sign here.

Vic

Yeah, I'm not gonna, baby.

Val

Say what, baby?

Vic

I don't want to end this marriage.

Val

No... no... you have to.

Vic

Why?

Lauren

Because you're an adulterer!

Vic

No, I'm not.

Lauren

Wanna be?

Vic

It's Holly? Oh, hey, she's going to be so excited we got married. Let me say 'hi'.

Val

No! And I can't say 'hi' either because she will sense in my 'hi' that something is wrong, terribly terribly wrong, like we got married!

Vic

Oh, look at you, you're all feisty in the morning! I like that.

Val

Stop liking me!

Vic

This is good... this is good. It's nice to know I'm not the only one you fight with.

Val

I am fighting with her because I love her. The poker guy she has been emailing with is married. I've gotta stop it. Lauren is a beautiful girl, she deserves to be in a healthy relationship.

Vic

Like ours?

Val

What are you doing here? You're supposed to be at the firehouse. Holly is in Vermont. I was supposed to be alone tonight, peaceful and happy, like how I was before the incident.

Vic

Oh, you mean the drunken marriage incident?

Val

Can you not use the full title? Because that makes me look bad...

Vic

Val, didn't you just hear Charlie? I mean, I have said the exact words to you, "We're soulmates. I know things happened fast, but we were meant to be. I know in my gut, you're the one for me." I mean, we were even wearing the same outfits.

Val

No, your cape is black, his was red.

Vic

Look, Val - I finally get it, okay. I get why you keep keeping fighting us, I get why you keep pushing me away. I must look like a nut to you, too.

Val

Well, sometimes you feel like a nut.

Charlie

Why doesn't Val love me? I mean, okay, I'm not her brother, but I have other things I can offer - children with one head.

Vic

(his cell phone rings) Oh, hey - hold your pain.

Val

All right, here's your crap. Now get out.

Vic

Honey, your dad is coming all the way from Japan. Why can't I meet my father-in-law?

Val

Because your father-in-law doesn't know he's a father-in-law. And he ain't goin' find out because you're not coming back until he's gone.

Vic

Okay, so what you're saying is, you want me back.

Vince

Vic? Vic! Have you met Val's-

Val

Personal trainer! What are you doing here, personal trainer?

Vic

Uh, well, we have the appointment for personal training.

Val

Uh, well, I'm going to have to cancel that, seeing as my dad's here. I won't be able to see you all week.

Jack

You have a personal trainer? What a great idea...

Val

Why, do you think I'm fat?

Val

Don't you have a client there tonight, trainer?

Vic

Yes, but you just cancelled.

Val

(to Vic as they are running) Come on! I got 3 inch heels on and I'm still runnin' faster than you! Is this how you run into a burning building?

Vic

Hey, I'm doing it on purpose, I'm watching you from behind - very sexy.

Val

Too sexy? Oh great. Now daddy's gonna think I'm a whore. Earlier today, he told me I was fat. Now I'm a fat whore.

Vic

Um, okay, well, the good news is that this is way bigger than both of your secrets.

Vince

Oh, ho ho, my cheese pants pale by comparison!