Val quotes from What I Like About You

Val

They're not being firemen, they're being firebabies!

Val

[About a fashion designer] Man, if I could snag a client like her my career would take off like a rocket, bang!

Jeff

I think you want whoosh. When you're talking rockets, bang is bad.

Val

Are we dead?

Jeff

If we are, do I still have to watch "Riding in Cars with Boys"?

Jeff

I have a situation.

Val

What kind of situation?

Jeff

This mattress is kicking my butt situation!

Holly

I'm going to stay with Nana until Dad gets back.

Val

You don't have to stay with Nana.

Holly

No, Val, it's a good thing. I should spend time with her while I still can.

Val

What does that mean?

Jeff

Oh, no! Did Nana get busted?

Val

She uses it for glaucoma.

Jeff

Aww, you're so cute...

Holly

Look, Dad got another promotion at work. They're moving him. Us. To Japan.

Japan!?

Val

That sucks!

Holly

That's what I said. Well, in my head. I still have to pay Dad a dollar every time I say suck.

Val

This is unacceptable...

Jeff

Wait a minute - what about if you were to say "Hey, kid, don't suck your thumb?" Do you still got to pay him?

Jeff

You guys aren't fighting, are you? I know how sisters can be.

Val

You have two brothers.

Jeff

But I have seen "Ya-Ya Sisterhood"!

Val

That's about a mother and a daughter! Weren't you paying attention at all?

Jeff

Yeah... Please don't make me watch it again!

Jeff

Stupid "Palm Pirate."

Val

Isn't it called "Palm Pilot?"

Jeff

Not if you buy it off a guy in a van.

Val

Same guy who sold you the "Rulex?"

Val

How do we figure out where she is?

Jeff

Would it be cheating if we read the flyer to the party?

Val

Hey, why is my birthday written on your hand?

Jeff

Uh... I think the real question is why is mine not written on yours?

Gary

I'm just glad I can spend Thanksgiving here, instead of at the Thorpe Family Cod Fish Extravaganza.

Val

What, cod fish?

Holly

You don't eat turkey on Thanksgiving?

Gary

Oh no no no, turkey - sacred in my family. One actually saved my great-grandfather's life.

Jeff

Well, they are known for their heroism.

Gary

True. See, according to legend, my great-grandfather went for a walk on Thanksgiving morning and got lost in a blizzard. Yeah, he wandered around for hours until he came upon a wild turkey, who led him back to safety. And that brave bird was the last turkey my family ever ate.

Val

You know what I think? I think you need a wingman.

Holly

You know about wingmen?

Val

Of course. I also know that butt crack is the new cleavage.

Holly

Yeah, but you can't keep your money in there.

Val

Okay, she didn't start off as the perfect employee, but how bad could she have been?

Jeff

She soaked a man's chicken and lost four lobsters.

Val

She told me five.

Jeff

Five?! (looks around in alarm)

Jeff

To be completely honest with you, maybe things worked out for the best.

Val

What do you mean?

Jeff

When she left, it was the best.

Val

Aww... you're exaggerating.

Jeff

No, after she quit, the busboys had a party. There was dancing.

Jeff

She's back... for the long haul. How long is the long haul?

Val

I am proud of her. Do you know how much courage it took to march back in here?

Jeff

She's courageous? (gestures to the busboys) They have to work with her. They're the real heroes.