What I Like About You · Season 4
All right, here's your crap. Now get out.
Honey, your dad is coming all the way from Japan. Why can't I meet my father-in-law?
Because your father-in-law doesn't know he's a father-in-law. And he ain't goin' find out because you're not coming back until he's gone.
Okay, so what you're saying is, you want me back.
Who am I kidding? My dad's going to love you. Even if your pants have holes... and cheese?
Crap! I'm wearing my cheese pants!
Dad, I want you to meet my boyfriend.
(holds out his hand) Uh, this isn't pee, I was just wiping off cheese.
(doesn't take Vince's hand) You'll forgive me. Pleasure to meet you, Henry.
(Holly shakes her head)
Ben.
Actually, it's Vince.
I'm making a joke...
Vic? Vic! Have you met Val's-
Personal trainer! What are you doing here, personal trainer?
Uh, well, we have the appointment for personal training.
Uh, well, I'm going to have to cancel that, seeing as my dad's here. I won't be able to see you all week.
You have a personal trainer? What a great idea...
Why, do you think I'm fat?
(loud whisper) What is wrong with you?
(loud whisper) Me? What is wrong with you?
(loud whisper) I just want five minutes alone with Dad so I can show him what a success I've become.
(loud whisper) Well, I really want him to like Vince, and Vince has already made a horrible impression!
Okay, you're not whispering.
Don't you have a client there tonight, trainer?
Yes, but you just cancelled.
Ah, well, hi there, Daddy! Pardonez-moi, pardonez-moi. The girls did not tell me you were tall, silver, and handsome! Call me Mommy, just let me feel the beat of that.
(to Vic as they are running) Come on! I got 3 inch heels on and I'm still runnin' faster than you! Is this how you run into a burning building?
Hey, I'm doing it on purpose, I'm watching you from behind - very sexy.
Too sexy? Oh great. Now daddy's gonna think I'm a whore. Earlier today, he told me I was fat. Now I'm a fat whore.
C'mon, we only have an hour alone with Daddy if you're going to make a better second first impression!
Did you see the impression that Vince left? Dad is only here for two days and every second is crucial!
Again, within earshot!
Think I was born yesterday, dropout?
Well, let me tell you something drunken married lady!
Um, okay, well, the good news is that this is way bigger than both of your secrets.
Oh, ho ho, my cheese pants pale by comparison!
Hi! Sorry, I'm late. I wanted to make my grand entrance for the Silver Fox.
Holly/Val/Vic: Knock yourself out/Good luck with that/As if.
Gay.
Hey guys. This place is awesome. Your dad and Toshi did a great job decorating.
Holly/Val/Vic: Yeah.../So?/Surprise, surprise...
Gay.
So, how 'bout that. Your dad's gay.
Well, I think it's great. It's a little shocking. All these years, I thought Mom was a woman.
Okay, so, he turned gay three years ago. The wife, may she rest in peace, had no clue. But he loved her, they were soulmates.
Lauren, should you really be listening?
No. No, I should be watching too.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's What I Like About You pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
