Tina quotes from What I Like About You

Tina

(about Robin) Oh my god, the beyotch is coming, the beyotch is coming!

Tina

(after Holly and Gary beg her to see Jay Miller's loft) Okay, fine, but you have to promise not to touch anything. (looks at Gary)

Gary

(reluctantly) Why you lookin' at me?

Tina

Don't you want to know what she looks like?

Holly

No. I already have her pictured in my head. She's fat, looks like a troll, and has a glass eye.

Tina

Then why don't I go and report back?

Holly

What if she's prettier than me?

Tina

Then I'll lie.

Holly

What kind of crappy friend are you?!

Holly

He doesn't look different.

Tina

Who?

Holly

Henry, he still looks like a virgin.

Tina

Yeah, I think he's stuck with that look.

Holly

We need cheese.

Vince

We got cheese.

Holly

Spicy mustard?

Henry

Got it.

Holly

Toothpicks?

Gary

Right here.

Tina

Tampons.

Aw, hell no!

Lauren

Sweet mother of God!

Val

Holy crap!

Damn!

Holly

(to Tina, about the invitations to Vince's "surprise" party) Oh my God. I told you. I sent you both an e vite. Tina got hers, didn't you, Tina?

Tina

(playing along) Totally got it.

Ben

(muttering) Of course she got invited, she slept with him, for God's sake!

Tina

What is he doing here?

Holly

(shrugs)

Tina

(points finger at Holly) I'm going to go fake pee, and when I get back, I'm going to REAL kill you!

Tina

Holly... I may have feelings for Gary other than hate.

Holly

Oh my god... Tina, that's fantastic!

Lauren

Hi! Sorry, I'm late. I wanted to make my grand entrance for the Silver Fox.

Vince

Gay.

Tina

Hey guys. This place is awesome. Your dad and Toshi did a great job decorating.

Vince

Gay.

Gary

You know what, it's kind of fun being gay.

Tina

Oh, please, you're not cute enough to be a gay guy.

Gary

You are.

Holly

Everytime me and Vince make plans she always has some work thing for him (makes air quotes)

Tina

Why did you just make air quotes?

Holly

I didn't. I was practicing what I was going to do to her eyes!

Tina

(about Lauren) Oh my God! She turned it around and pulled the surprise party out of her ass!

Holly

If only she could pull some morals out of her ass!

Gary

So once Vince's head gets big from seeing his big old head on that bench, do think they're going to have to make a bigger bench to fit his bigger head?

Tina

Someone a little jealous?

Gary

I think you've got it the other way around. (puts down a mug with his face on it loudly) BAM! It's hot chocolate, served by hot chocolate.

Holly

Did you see the atrocity?

Tina

I know, how could you miss it? Vince and that Robyn are plastered all over the city.

Holly

Okay, so we gotta get us some giant Sharpes. I'm thinking black teeth and her original nose.

Tina

Oh, come on Holly, you're better than that.

Holly

Huh... I know, how about Dumbo ears and a Hitler mustasche?