Gary quotes from What I Like About You

Gary

You lose your girlfriend, you lose your job... nobody's looking, you want a hug?

Gary

Okay, Val - now, the way Gary sees it, you got three choices: you can find yourself another job and pray it's going to be a better situation, do what Holly said and start your own company, or do what 99% of the world does and stay where you are and suck it up.

Gary

What is wrong with you people? Now, look it here. Tina has graciously all invited us for a lovely weekend in Vermont. Now, I for one, adore free stuff.

Gary

Great, now look what you just... I could never be mad at you, jacuzzi.

Gary

(claps) All right, listen up ladies. As you know, tonight is the premiere of our (jazz hands) Jazz Night. In an effort to bring in a finer clientele, I have created a more upscale look. So if you please... snap on these [clip-on ties] and do not spill anything on them, for they are very classy and cost me four dollars a dozen.

Gary

What are you doing?

Holly

Oh, I'm just playing a little game. It's called getting killed by the elevator while Gary does nothing! Help me.

Gary

Oh, sure. Anything for the cause. I mean, I don't want you moving to Japan. Have you seen their trees? They're like yea big!

Gary

Don't feel bad. I grew up with this stuff. A lot of people your age have problems with the technology.

Jeff

My age? Dude, I'm only ten years older than you!

Gary

You mean like a decade?

Jeff

So you think I'm old?

Gary

No...sir!

Jeff

What were you guys doing in there, man?

Gary

I went in to get my movie!

Jeff

You like this movie?

Gary

I love that movie! I'm like obsessed with it! It's one of those movies where I'm like, man, I would love to be one of those characters!

Jeff

You wanna be one of the Ya-Ya Sisters?

Gary

No, no! I went in to get "The Matrix," man...this must be Val's.

Jeff

You want free cheesecake for a year?

Gary

Sure!

Jeff

Make it disappear!

Holly

(to Gary) And then, on the way to school, she said damn. Twice.

Gary

VAL?

Holly

Uh-huh.

Gary

Man, my parents would never let me miss school. You know, for once I would love to NOT win the perfect attendance award.

Holly

(laughing) Gary, perfect attendance is something to be proud of.

Gary

That's what it said on the sash.

Gary

Time to take one for the scrapbook!

Holly

What scrapbook?

Gary

Time to start a scrapbook!

Holly

So, what'd you tell your brother you're using the car for?

Gary

To deliver food to old people.

Holly

Is that what you told your parents?

Gary

Oh, no no no, they'd never believe that. They think I'm at a jump-rope marathon for the Heart Association. They donated $30.

Gary

I can't believe it'd roll like that...

Holly

Kind of its job.

Gary

I'll get it. (goes and then turns around)

Holly

What?

Gary

I can't do it. I'm afraid.

Holly

Of what?

Gary

Hobos.

Holly

Hobos? Do they even exist?

Gary

Girl, yeah, they're making a big comeback!

Holly

Gary, why would a hobo do anything to you?

Gary

Because they have nothing to lose.

Holly

Fine, I'll go get it.

Gary

Don't be tempted by their free-spirited lifestyle!

Gary

I can't believe we did this.

Holly

I know, and to a poor poor little bird

Gary

Like you even like birds!

Holly

Oh, be quiet, Gary!

Gary

Welcome to my place. The International House of Gary.

IHOG?

Gary

Oh, you make it sound so cute!

Gary

That parrot is my favorite thing in the zoo!

Jeff

My favorite thing is when the monkeys go off in the corner and... starts enjoying the food pellets!