Jeff quotes from What I Like About You

Jeff

(to Val) I've been to a million parties like this when I was Holly's age and they're all the same: girls hanging in one side of the room, guys hanging out on the other side. It's pretty boring until some guy named Chad shows up with beer that he got with a fake I.D. Everyone starts drinking, the two sides merge. Chad hits it off with Holly and tells her that he's thinking of becoming a pro tennis player, she thinks he's cute because he has the kinda hair that looks perfect when he does nothing to it. He offers her a beer, Holly smiles. I'm going to kill this Chad guy when I get my hands on him!

Val

[About a fashion designer] Man, if I could snag a client like her my career would take off like a rocket, bang!

Jeff

I think you want whoosh. When you're talking rockets, bang is bad.

Val

Are we dead?

Jeff

If we are, do I still have to watch "Riding in Cars with Boys"?

Jeff

I have a situation.

Val

What kind of situation?

Jeff

This mattress is kicking my butt situation!

Holly

I'm going to stay with Nana until Dad gets back.

Val

You don't have to stay with Nana.

Holly

No, Val, it's a good thing. I should spend time with her while I still can.

Val

What does that mean?

Jeff

Oh, no! Did Nana get busted?

Val

She uses it for glaucoma.

Jeff

Aww, you're so cute...

Holly

Look, Dad got another promotion at work. They're moving him. Us. To Japan.

Japan!?

Val

That sucks!

Holly

That's what I said. Well, in my head. I still have to pay Dad a dollar every time I say suck.

Val

This is unacceptable...

Jeff

Wait a minute - what about if you were to say "Hey, kid, don't suck your thumb?" Do you still got to pay him?

Gary

Don't feel bad. I grew up with this stuff. A lot of people your age have problems with the technology.

Jeff

My age? Dude, I'm only ten years older than you!

Gary

You mean like a decade?

Jeff

So you think I'm old?

Gary

No...sir!

Jeff

What were you guys doing in there, man?

Gary

I went in to get my movie!

Jeff

You like this movie?

Gary

I love that movie! I'm like obsessed with it! It's one of those movies where I'm like, man, I would love to be one of those characters!

Jeff

You wanna be one of the Ya-Ya Sisters?

Gary

No, no! I went in to get "The Matrix," man...this must be Val's.

Jeff

You want free cheesecake for a year?

Gary

Sure!

Jeff

Make it disappear!

Jeff

You guys aren't fighting, are you? I know how sisters can be.

Val

You have two brothers.

Jeff

But I have seen "Ya-Ya Sisterhood"!

Val

That's about a mother and a daughter! Weren't you paying attention at all?

Jeff

Yeah... Please don't make me watch it again!

Jeff

Stupid "Palm Pirate."

Val

Isn't it called "Palm Pilot?"

Jeff

Not if you buy it off a guy in a van.

Val

Same guy who sold you the "Rulex?"

Jeff

Hey, what's that?

Holly

It's the "Good Roommate Chart." The GRC.

Jeff

Oh, yeah. She gave me the GBC - the "Good Boyfriend Chart." It was issued to me after a very unfortunate pull-my-finger incident.

Holly

... I heard.

Holly

(to Gary, on the phone) Don't worry! I'll just tell Jeff you missed the bus. (hangs up, to Jeff) Gary's running late. He's watching "SpongeBob SquarePants".

Jeff

What a loser! It's a repeat!

Val

How do we figure out where she is?

Jeff

Would it be cheating if we read the flyer to the party?

Val

Hey, why is my birthday written on your hand?

Jeff

Uh... I think the real question is why is mine not written on yours?

Gary

That parrot is my favorite thing in the zoo!

Jeff

My favorite thing is when the monkeys go off in the corner and... starts enjoying the food pellets!