Gary quotes from What I Like About You

Vince

Well, where is she?

Gary

Uh, well, she's not in Princeton visiting Henry.

Vince

What? Why would she go there? The radio guy told her to talk to her boyfriend, listen to his side!

Gary

Well, you know, Henry was her first love and... and he's known her the longest and you know, well, he's really really smart and dude was an excellent boyfriend.

Vince

... Oh, god, do you think they'll get back together? They can't get back together. Gary, don't let them get back together!

Gary

Calm down, girl!

Lauren

(to Gary) I'll make her laugh!

Gary

(to Lauren) I'll have sex with her.

Lauren

(to Gary) So will I!

Gary

Come on man, you went and told Holly that I have unwanted feelings of a desire-ist nature towards Tina?

Holly

(giggles nervously) WHAT?

Vince

No, I didn't tell her, you just did, Gary!

Gary

Oh no, I just blurted out my own secret? Ohhh, I can't tell me anything!

Gary

I hate her!

Vince

Then you might be sending mixed signals by making out with her.

Gary

You know what, it's kind of fun being gay.

Tina

Oh, please, you're not cute enough to be a gay guy.

Gary

You are.

Lauren

Who made you the boss of me?

Gary

Val. Val promoted me to manager.

Lauren

Ha ha, and then what happened, you woke up?! Liar! Val is like an older sister to me - why would she pick you over me?

Gary

Oh, I don't know... maybe because I'm a business major, I show up to work on time, and I don't have a huge tab under the assumed name of Ms. Bar. Mitzvah.

Lauren

Did you promote Gary over me and if so, why?

Val

Well, Ms. Mitzvah...

Vince

Hey, man, hey! Can I talk you about something? It's kinda embarrassing.

Gary

Oh, say no more. Use the cream from the third shelf in the medicine cabinet, takes away everything.

Vince

Gary, it's about Holly.

Gary

Oh. Tell Holly to use the cream from the third shelf in the medicine cabinet -

Vince

Gary, it's not about that. I saw Holly's paycheque - it's huge. I can't stop thinking about it, man. She makes so much more money than me.

Gary

And?

Vince

And it bugs me. I mean I'm the man. I'm supposed to be the provider.

Gary

No, no, you're the man because you found yourself a rich girlfriend. High five!

Vince

So, it wouldn't bother you that your girlfriend makes twice as much money as you?

Gary

Look, why make it a problem when there is no problem? You love her, she loves you.

Vince

Yeah, but it bugs me that she-

Gary

Okay, so you think that Holly is so far beneath you that she isn't entitled to make more money that you?

Vince

No, it's just that-

Gary

Oh, so then she doesn't deserve to make more money.

Vince

No, she deserves-

Gary

Then it's your stupid pride.

Vince

Oh... that could be it.

Gary

Now, what are you going to do about it?

Vince

I'm gonna get past it. Try to get past it.

Gary

No, you're gonna do it. Because real men get past it. Now, are you a real man?

Vince

Raah!

Gary

Weird, man, but real man.

Gary

Now, you know you're gonna have to pay for that.

Vince

Put it on Holly's tab. A real man can let his woman pay for his muffin.

Gary

Now, that's what I'm talkin' about. Keep it pimpin, player, keep it pimpin.

Vince

Can't do it, Gary. Tried be cool, but I cannot be a kept man.

Gary

You ain't trying hard enough.

Gary

I'm sorry, I'm getting my clients all mixed up. Uh, let's see... yeah, yeah...you're the one with the second clue to your date.

Val

Aww..

Gary

Aww... isn't he precious? Yeah, it's not often you see a teddy bear in his... formal attire.

Gary

You know what? Your-your hair is so Footloose!

Vince

You did NOT just drag Kevin Bacon into this!

Gary

So once Vince's head gets big from seeing his big old head on that bench, do think they're going to have to make a bigger bench to fit his bigger head?

Tina

Someone a little jealous?

Gary

I think you've got it the other way around. (puts down a mug with his face on it loudly) BAM! It's hot chocolate, served by hot chocolate.

Gary

All right, fantastic four, back together again.

Tina

Aww Holly!

Gary

Viiiiiiiiince!