Gary quotes from What I Like About You

Gary

I'm just glad I can spend Thanksgiving here, instead of at the Thorpe Family Cod Fish Extravaganza.

Val

What, cod fish?

Holly

You don't eat turkey on Thanksgiving?

Gary

Oh no no no, turkey - sacred in my family. One actually saved my great-grandfather's life.

Jeff

Well, they are known for their heroism.

Gary

True. See, according to legend, my great-grandfather went for a walk on Thanksgiving morning and got lost in a blizzard. Yeah, he wandered around for hours until he came upon a wild turkey, who led him back to safety. And that brave bird was the last turkey my family ever ate.

Jeff

You know, the MacArthur Red has a higher IQ than any other breed of turkey.

Gary

Yeah? What's its IQ?

Jeff

Eight.

Gary

Hey, do you think that flower guy was serious about the MacArthur Platinum?

Jeff

Nah, no turkey has an IQ of 12.

Gary

Oh, well, you need money. Well, how about you write a book on how to break the spirit of an eighth grader?

Well, Thorpe, let's say that I did, and it made $100,000. If I decided to split the royalties with you 60/40, how much would you get? I'll be right back. I don't want to get any brains on me when your head explodes.

Holly

(talking about iBop) Yes it came, I love it and it's mine!

Gary

You said I could have it!

Holly

That was before I fell in love with it! I love it, Gary! I love it like a little tiny child! (After Gary leaves) It's ok, baby. The bad man's gone

Gary

Ooh, Holly's making omelettes? Can I have one with sundried tomatoes and just a little-

No!

Gary

Uh, Jeff?

Jeff

What?

Gary

Either you're missing a lobster or that is one freaky cockroach.

Gary

Well, I say we celebrate.

Val

Oh, not with a song...

Holly

Let's celebrate sitting down.

Jeff

What do you want me to do, fire her?

Gary

Jeff, I am shocked that would even cross your mind. But if you must, you must.

Tina

(after Holly and Gary beg her to see Jay Miller's loft) Okay, fine, but you have to promise not to touch anything. (looks at Gary)

Gary

(reluctantly) Why you lookin' at me?

Gary

Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen?

Vince

I don't think that's three names or legal.

Gary

Not for another two hundred and forty-eight days. (loud) I got it! Ann B. Davis! The maid on "The Brady Bunch"!?

Vince

(pauses, then gives in) Yes.

Holly

We need cheese.

Vince

We got cheese.

Holly

Spicy mustard?

Henry

Got it.

Holly

Toothpicks?

Gary

Right here.

Tina

Tampons.

Aw, hell no!

Henry

(to a shirtless Gary) I got to say I'm really uncomfortable.

Gary

Yet you can't look away!

Holly

(singing off key) You make me feel like a natural woman..

Gary

You're gonna wear something low cut, right?

Holly

What do you think, Ben?

Ben

I think you could use a little more rehearsal.

Holly

Vince?

Vince

You're awesome. Sing it again.

Gary

Did I ever tell anyone that you wrote Celine Dion a fan letter?

Vince

[shouts] She is excellent and Gary, you told everyone!