(about Robin) Oh my god, the beyotch is coming, the beyotch is coming!
(gasps) Oh my gosh, you're on a bus bench? Vince, look how big your head is!
I know! I have a big head. People trust people with big heads.
Hmm, yes, you know what, you're right! Who wouldn't want to buy an apartment from that big head?
Vic (to his mother): Okay fine, you don't have to meet her.
What can I do you for?
Uh, we have decided we're not going to stay, but thank you anyway, miss!
EEileen
Wait, why don't we ask her?
Ma-
EEileen
Miss, what if your baby went off to some godforsaken place like Atlantic City, met a floozy, and an hour later married her? Wouldn't you want to kill yourself?
Well, uh, gosh... I'd want to meet the girl first... because I'm sure the son - if he were yours - would pick a sweet, poised, conversative, classy gal, one who's just going through a rough patch.
EEileen
Oh, god, you're her.
... Hi!
Yeah, um, Ma, this is Val, my wife. And um, Val, this is my mom - (to his mother) don't say anything mean - Eileen.
So once Vince's head gets big from seeing his big old head on that bench, do think they're going to have to make a bigger bench to fit his bigger head?
Someone a little jealous?
I think you've got it the other way around. (puts down a mug with his face on it loudly) BAM! It's hot chocolate, served by hot chocolate.
Oh my god, Lauren, all I wanted to do was get her to like me and look what happened!
Yeah, I know, you guys are besties!
That's because she's an alcoholic and I just pushed her off her wagon! Oh, this is such a mess, I was going to charm her, you know, take her Uptown, buy her a scarf, a brooch, maybe some Gina Tae splash. You know, mom stuff.
Honey, believe me, things could be worse.
How could things be worse, Lauren?
Hey, baby.
That would be your example.
Did you see the atrocity?
I know, how could you miss it? Vince and that Robyn are plastered all over the city.
Okay, so we gotta get us some giant Sharpes. I'm thinking black teeth and her original nose.
Oh, come on Holly, you're better than that.
Huh... I know, how about Dumbo ears and a Hitler mustasche?
Oh my god, that guy is cute. I should ask him out for a drink. I mean, pie.
Are you coming in, Mrs. Meladeo?
Uh, hello? It's anonymous.
I'm sorry. Eileen.
So it's decided then?
We're... thinking.
Guess I shouldn't wear this while we're thinking. (hands Vince her bracelet)
Val gave you that.
Oh. (puts her bracelet back on) Then we're good.
Oh, the guys at AA are so much hotter than they are at Overeaters Anonymous.
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