I'm just glad I can spend Thanksgiving here, instead of at the Thorpe Family Cod Fish Extravaganza.
What, cod fish?
You don't eat turkey on Thanksgiving?
Oh no no no, turkey - sacred in my family. One actually saved my great-grandfather's life.
Well, they are known for their heroism.
True. See, according to legend, my great-grandfather went for a walk on Thanksgiving morning and got lost in a blizzard. Yeah, he wandered around for hours until he came upon a wild turkey, who led him back to safety. And that brave bird was the last turkey my family ever ate.