Maria quotes from Weeds

He is a terrible man.

Andy Botwin

What? Doug? Come on. He's a great guy.

He is a criminal.

Andy Botwin

He's an accountant.

A thief, who has abandoned his wife and family and wants to make me his whore.

Andy Botwin

A CPA with legal problems who's going through a divorce and is wildly in love with you.

He has warts on his genitals.

Andy Botwin

Yeah, I got nothing to that.

[grabs Andy's naked crotch] You are excited.

Andy Botwin

No, no. It's just windy out.

I do not think it is the wind.

Andy Botwin

[trying to resist himself as she kisses her way down] Lou Dobbs. Lou Dobbs. Lou Dobbs. Lou Dobbs. Lou Dobbs. Lou Dobbs. Lou Dobbs!

Andy Botwin

[after confessing to Doug of having sex with Maria] It will never happen again.

[to Andy] It will. It will happen many times.