So, the lowest level of the globe theater was reserved for "the groundlings" who were the lower class people who came out to enjoy...
(comes into Sikowitz's class) YOU GUYS! I'M SORRY I'M LATE, BUT MY MOM... SLAMMED MY HEAD IN THE CAR DOOR! (holds a round case with a red top on her hand, and breaks down crying. After a few seconds of silence, she stands on her knees and holds her hands out) April Fools! (laughs and stands up) Yeah!
What are you, five years old?
But... today's April Fools' Day!
April Fools' Day is kind of for, you know, little kids...
That's how we all feel. (he holds his hands out, and Beck and Robbie slap them in agreement)
But... this school is full of creative people! I-I thought for sure April Fools' Day would be a big deal here.
(stands up and yells) WELL, IT'S NOT! OKAY, TORI?! SO, JUST SHUT YOUR FACE AND LET MR. BELDING TEACH!
BMr. Belding
Thank you, Zack. (Cat sits back down angrily) Now, as Screech was saying, a world without pants is like a donut.
Oh, come on! No one here is into April Fools? (Mr. Belding tackles her to the floor and takes her purse) WHOA! Okay. Uh... (Mr. Belding runs out of the room)
Wait. Did you just say you wanted a face full of trumpet?
What do you mean, "face full of..."? --AAAAH!! (Cat blows a trumpet in her face, and she falls to the floor. Drake Bell quickly comes in and gets her back on her chair. He then notices the audience and immediately flees the room)
Wait, was that the (guy, Drake) Bell? (the bell rings) Oh, there's the bell. (holds his hands out and explodes. Tori gasps, as parts of his clothes and coconut fall to the floor)
What? (Cat blows the trumpet in her face again and she falls to the floor. Cat then laughs)
Tori! Tori! Did you hear, did you hear the news?!
It's war. It's war, Tori, it's war!
(points at him shocked) Is it Switzerland?
(grabs her by the shoulders and shakes her) Will you forget about the war?! We're gonna have a pop quiz!
But... you just said that--
It's true, I tell you! I just heard it from two boys in the bathroom! At the urinal. We're gonna have a pop quiz! A pop quiz is going down, Tori!
Oh... my god, I hate pop quizzes!
(grabs her and shakes her in the air) HOW CAN YOU THINK ABOUT A POP QUIZ WHEN WE'RE AT WAR?! It's war, Tori! It's war! (puts her down) I gotta go recycle some aluminum. (starts running) Ah. Oh, say can you see...? (his leg gets hit) --AAHHHH! (Tori gasps) AH, I'M HIT! ARROW! (falls down the stairs) AHHH! AHHH! Ow! I got hit in the leg by a swiss arrow. DANG THIS CURSED WAR! (2 Congress-like men come in and drag him away)
Tori! Tori! I'm running in with big news! Tori!
(he and the feeding girl start screaming and run away in terror. Robbie comes up to the table)
The Beverly Hills volcano is about to erupt!
In three and a half minutes, this whole school is gonna be covered in hot lava!
We only have three and a half minutes?
(pounds his fist on the table) The same amount of time as a commercial break.
(grabs Tori's arm) I say we kiss.
Not you! (to Tori) You. Kiss me, Tori. I want my last three and a half minutes to be spent with my face... smushed against your face.
Are there any other ideas?
Okay. (the two lean in to kiss, and the screen freezes)
Stay tuned for the second half of Victorious... or don't. I get paid either way.
(after commercial)
...And now, we continue with the exciting second half of Victorious. Press Play. (Tori's about to kiss Robbie, but Beck comes rushing in)
Tori, Andre. Have you heard? Have you heard the news?
I already told you! The Beverly Hills volcano is about to erupt! Now, kiss me.
The Beverly Hills volcano has retired and moved to Florida. So, it's probably NOT gonna spew hot lava all over Hollywood Arts! (everyone cheers)
Wait! I just heard we're about to be attacked by killer butterflies! (everyone moans)
Wait! Sinjin has 2 big jugs of anti-butterfly spray! (everyone cheers again, but Sinjin is seen drinking the spray)
But I drank them! (everyone moans again)
(holding up an apple) Wait, I'm not gonna eat this apple! So, you guys can all share it! (everyone cheers again, Tori's phone then goes off)
WAIT! I just got a text that says that apples make your hair fall out! (everyone moans again)
What's done is done. (eats an apple out of a bowl of them)
And your question is... Dumb Debbie was so dumb.
CBCat, Beck, André, Robbie, Jade and Trina
HOW DUMB WAS SHE?
She was so dumb, she didn't realize that April 1st was April Fools... blank.
(Later, after the others have filled in their answers)
Okay, Tori. Dumb Debbie was so dumb. She didn't realize that April 1st was April Fools...
Day. Mm-hmm. Day. Well, let's see if you match anybody. (clears throat) André!
Roses are red, storm clouds are gray. Debbie's so dumb, she didn't realize it was April Fools... (takes his card and turns it over) Lobster. (a buzzer rings, and a lobster comes out near the entrance and charges towards Tori)
That's the lobster! AAH! (the lobster pushes her to the ground, rubs her butt and slaps her back before running off)
All right now, get up! (she does) Jade, what's your answer?
Well I figured she was so dumb... she thought April 1st was April Fools... (turns her card over) Berry! (buzzer rings again) That's a thing! Right, April Fools Berry? That's a thing!
Oh, you're a thing. A foul beast of a thing! (everyone else laughs as the lobster comes back)
No no no. No no no, it is not my fault that she said berry! (the lobster places her on the floor as she flails. He then slaps her butt again and runs off)
Alright, upsie daisy! (Tori gets back up) Robbie.
Yes yes, what is it Sikowitz?
Dumb Debbie was so dumb, she didn't realize that April 1st was April Fools...
(turns his card over) Foot. (buzzer, the crowd boos) Oh, shut up, you people. I WAS ON BROADWAY!
Wait, the lobster forgot to push Tori down!
Cat, why would you remind him?! (the lobster charges at Tori) Okay, n-n-no. See, see, I was-- (the lobster grabs Tori and places her to the ground as she flails. He then flexes and runs off)
Will you GET UP?! (she does) Cat! Dumb Debbie was so dumb, she didn't realize that April 1st was April Fools... blank.
I said... (turns her card over) 'Blank!' (buzzer)
(laughs) I love President Ford!
We're not gonna bring the lobster out for that one. (Tori pats him on the back) Uh, Beck!
(in garbled accent) Well, I'm sorry, Doc and I was starving, so I said... (turns his card over) Onion rings. (buzzer, the lobster comes through the entrance)
No. I know. (faints. The lobster then leaves)
(laughs) Okay! One last chance. Your sister. Trina.
Well, I said... (reveals her card) '...Cut to the next scene!'. (scene cuts to the Vegas' house where Tori waves her arms weirdly)
Oh, your stupid card brought us to this scene! You cost me $5,000!
But I want an Oompa Loompa now!
You can't HAVE an Oompa Loompa--
EEveryone
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
There's no football game.
EEveryone
WHERE'S THE BEEF!?
Okay, kids won't get that reference. And... it's April Fools Day!
So Robbie drove you to school this morning?
Yes, but never again! I've gotta find someone else to drive me.
Well, I bet my brother would drive you. If you don't mind screaming.
Wait, you guys scream at each other?
No, sometimes he just screams. Like at trees. (pause) And busses.
Thanks, but I'll find someone else.
Why don't you just get a license like a normal teenage girl? (Tori gives her the death glare) Bag o' rags?
