André quotes from Victorious

André

Ow! What was that for?

Sinjin

There was a bee on your shoulder.

André

And you killed it before it could sting me? Thanks a lot, man.

Sinjin

What did I do?

André

No, just go on. Get out of here.

André

Did you meet Melinda Murray?

Beck

No.

André

I bet SHE'S been stung by a bee...

Beck

You can ask her yourself.

Tori

Yes, I'm wearing a ping pong jacket.

André

How could you not think to bring a fancy dress?

Tori

I don't know. I just didn't, okay?

Beck

You said you reminded everyone to bring nice clothes.

Jade

I did.

Tori

You didn't remind me.

Jade

(sarcastically) Whoops.

Tori

Okay. I have left her five voice mails and sent her twelve text messages. Why won't Cat talk to me?!?

André

'Cause you squirted hot cheese in her ear!

Robbie

And played smushy face with her boyfriend.

Jade

Those things upset some girls.

Trina

(to Tori) You wanna try the pooka fish?

Tori

You got rice and soy sauce?

Trina

No.

Tori

Then no!

André

Hey, look what they got on the menu! Buffalo nuggets! Well that's good news... (laughs) Not for the buffalo...

So...Hollywood Arts...you girls gonna sing tonight?

Jade

Well, we didn't come for the buffalo nuggets.

Beck

But we are gonna get some, right?

Jade

I'm gonna get a soda. (starts to walk away with her cup)

André

Get me one?

Jade

No.

André

She can be a gank.

Beck

You have no idea.

HEY! We won...'cause WE rock.

Cat

Yeah, don't believe everything your daddy says.

Jade

Like when he tells you you're pretty! (Hayley gasps)

Robbie

YEAH!

Testify!

Okay, that's it! You guys are banned from singing here ever again.

Jade

Yeah, like we care.

Beck

Come on, let's get out of here.

André

Let's bail.

(comes out from behind) Okay, I have your nachos...your sliders...and the buffalo nuggets. (puts them on their table separately, then walks off)

André

I say we get out of here...right after we finish this food. (the group angrily sits back at the table) Pass the ranch dressing.

Jade

Here.

Cat

Ketchup!

Beck

Coming at'cha.

[singing and playing piano] My grandpa has a nose and my grandma has a nose. Everyone you know has a nose, nose, nose.

Jade

My grandfather's nose was blown off in the war, so that song is a filthy lie.

Robbie

[singing] It's fun to run, it's fun to play, it's fun to make things out of clay. It's fun to fill your car with gas, it's fun to break things made of glass.

Robbie

[singing] Broken glass can cut your hand and then you bleed across the land. Ask any-

Tori

We're not doing that!

Cat

Well, we have to write a song about something.

Beck

Okay, let's think. What do four-year old...little kids like?

Cat

Um...Cartoons?

Animals?

Jade

Being annoying.

Robbie

[singing and strumming] Broken glass.

[Andrè's cell phone vibrates.] Oh, I gotta take this. Back in a sec. [Leaves into the other room.] Hey, how ya doin'?

Tori

Oh, right here. On SplashFace, the top seven most popular kiddie songs are all about food.

Cat

So let's write a kiddie song about food.

Robbie

[singing and playing guitar] Oh, broken glass is not a food, so don't you listen to some dude who says "put cheese on broken glass and make a sand-a-wich out of broken glass."

Tori

What is wrong with you?

Jade

I like it.

Tori

It's catchy.

André

Catchy like a rash.

Tori

[smiles and claps] That song is so awesome! How'd you turn Favorite Foods into that?

I just stopped drinking my chocolate beverage and got busy.

André

So what's the plan?

Tori

I don't know. You're smart, she's mean. You think of something.

Tori

Come on..you were tired, it was almost midnight. You were alone together and you were writing a song..that's an emotional thing! Maybe you just forgot that she's a mean vicious girl with deep psychological problems..

André

Yeah..maybe I just forgot those things..

Sikowitz

See? Not so easy to perform a scene when you have a bucket on your head, is it?

Tori

...No.

André

It's difficult...

Sikowitz

Mm.. Yes. Well, class dismissed.

Jade

But we still have more time.

Sikowitz

We do? How much?

Robbie

55 minutes.

Sikowitz

Oh. Oh. Well, actually I do have something I need to discuss with...some of you. Tori, Cat, Andre, Robbie, Jade, please stay. The rest of you may wander the halls. (everyone leaves except them) Thanks for coming, enjoy your day, I'm here all week. Tip your nurses and clowns. (he shuts the door after they all have left)

Cat

Why did you make them leave?

Sikowitz

I don't know... they never talk.

Tori

Yeah, they just sit there and... (makes a reaction) ...'React'.

Jade

So what do you want with us?

Sikowitz

Who likes parades?

Robbie

Antonio Banderas.

Hillbillies.

Jade

No one.

Sikowitz

Oh, c'mon, parades are fun.

Cat

One time my brother was in a parade, but he was inappropriate, so the parade people called the police, and now he's not allowed to be in parades. (pause) Or be near horses.

Jade

Play with the pretty keys.

Cat

Kay-kay. (takes the keys and plays with them)

Cat

Okay (sigh)

André

Okay.

Robbie

Parade float.

André

Ideas.

Cat

What do we have so far?

Tori

Let's see... Oh, we have 2: 'A tribute to the fruits of Mexico' and 'Need good Idea for float.'

What was wrong with my idea?

Tori

No one wants to see a parade float called 'The Ladies of North Ridge.'

Well...

Tori

Come on, guys, be serious. (Trina enters) You wanna look dumb on national tv?

Trina

(drops her glass) Who's gonna be on national tv?

Cat

We're performing in the Parade Parade.

Trina

I'll do it.

Tori

Trina...

Trina

No, seriously, I'll sing or dance, I can just stand on the float right in front and be the pretty girl. I can totally be the pretty girl.

Tori

Alright, let's put it to a vote. All those--

No!

Trina

Fine. I don't wanna be in it. I wouldn't be in it if you begged me. (Trina storms out and slams the door, then opens the door after a pause) Just let me be in it?

No!

Trina

I don't even wanna be in it. (she runs into Jade on the way out)

Jade

Your sister just elbowed me in my lung.

Robbie

I'll get you some ice.

Jade

Sit down!

Tori

I'm sorry, did someone invite you here?

Jade

Beck told me you guys were appearing on national TV?

Tori

So?

Jade

And you think you're doing that without me?

Andre

You stormed out of Sikowitz's class. (Jade advances towards him threateningly) I feel that Jade should be included.