Jade quotes from Victorious

Jade

I'll give you this dollar to get to the point.

Sikowitz

I couldn't possibly take your money... (takes the dollar from Jade's hands)

[singing and playing piano] My grandpa has a nose and my grandma has a nose. Everyone you know has a nose, nose, nose.

Jade

My grandfather's nose was blown off in the war, so that song is a filthy lie.

Robbie

[singing] It's fun to run, it's fun to play, it's fun to make things out of clay. It's fun to fill your car with gas, it's fun to break things made of glass.

Robbie

[singing] Broken glass can cut your hand and then you bleed across the land. Ask any-

Tori

We're not doing that!

Cat

Well, we have to write a song about something.

Beck

Okay, let's think. What do four-year old...little kids like?

Cat

Um...Cartoons?

Animals?

Jade

Being annoying.

Robbie

[singing and strumming] Broken glass.

[Andrè's cell phone vibrates.] Oh, I gotta take this. Back in a sec. [Leaves into the other room.] Hey, how ya doin'?

Tori

Oh, right here. On SplashFace, the top seven most popular kiddie songs are all about food.

Cat

So let's write a kiddie song about food.

Robbie

[singing and playing guitar] Oh, broken glass is not a food, so don't you listen to some dude who says "put cheese on broken glass and make a sand-a-wich out of broken glass."

Tori

What is wrong with you?

Jade

I like it.

Jade

Hate this.

Tori

Thousand bucks.

Jade

Not enough.

Sinjin

Do another song!

Beck

(cheerfully) No!

Tori

Happy birthday Henry!

Jade

We did this for money. [leaves]

[points his finger at Jade] She wrote a bad word!

Jade

I write what I feel.

Jade

Who sings when they're falling to the bottom of a well?

Mrs. Lee

Batman?

Tori

I don't think Batman sings.

Jade

I'll twist your underpants!

Tori

OKAY!

[goes to Jade] Great work. [holds out his hand]

Jade

Whatever.

Tori

Come on. Give Tori a squeeze. [holds out her arms]

Jade

[hugs Tori]

Tori

Okay, well then it shouldn't be that hard to find someone to put up the money.

Jade

You'd really find me, someone, to put up the money to produce my play?

Tori

I meant that...

Jade

[Swings scissors] Hey! Did she not say, [Imitating Tori] It shouldn't be that hard to find someone to put up the money.

Okay, Jade, what do you hate?

Jade

Uh, tuna fish, flowers, uh, giggling, the word "panties", cilantro, rainbows, ducks...man, I hate ducks. Cramps, string cheese, clocks, wet doorknobs, bras that hook in the front, the color yellow, carpeting...

Tori

She almost KILLED me!

Jade

I wouldn't have actually killed you.

Tori

Oh, aren't you sweet.

Tori

Okay, would you rather give up the Internet or your foot?

Andre

Foot.

Cat

Foot.

Jade

Foot.

Beck

(lifts up knee with Jade's foot on it) Jade's foot.

Tori

You would all rather give up a foot then the internet.

Cat

Yeah.

Andre

You love the internet.

Tori

Yeah, but your foot's like a part of your body and the internet's... Yeah, my foot.

Cat

This one time I ate a hamburger and an hour later i started sneezing but i don't think it had anything to do with the hamburger.

Jade

Maybe your red hair dye seeps through your skull and into your brain.

Cat

Can that happen!?