Jade quotes from Victorious

Andre

Alright. It's starting to get hot in here.

Tori

Yeah. Let's go.

Robbie

Let's hit that beach!

Beck

This way, people. (Beck pushes the door, but it won't open)

Jade

What's wrong?

Beck

I don't know. The door won't open. (Beck pushes the door again, but it won't open. The scene cuts outside. It turns out that another giant RV is parked right next to theirs.)

Tori

[to Jade] Does it worry you that you never sweat?

Jade

No.

Tori

Well, what if, one day, all your sweat like, builds up inside, and you just explode?

Jade

...I would love that.

Trina

That's it, I'm calling her. What's Cat's number?

Jade

I already tried.

Beck

No signal.

Andre

Oh man, I told y'all not to get F-Mobile.

Tori

Well, where's your phone?

Andre

I left it in my pants, and my grandma washed it. All my contacts, gone.

Jade

Just open it!

Beck

Something's blocking the door. (Tori looks through the window)

Tori

Oh, man. Some idiot parked a huge RV right next to us.

Trina

Whatever. Let's just go out the back door.

Beck

There is no back door.

Trina

Well, that's stupid.

Andre

I'm getting very hot now.

Robbie

Would somebody open the window?

Jade

The windows are bulletproof. They don't open.

Oh, thanks a lot, Fat Biscuit.

Jade

What?

I meant the rapper from whom Beck's daddy purchased this vehicle.

Andre

I'm getting hotter.

Tori

Just push on the door.

Beck

I can't push a 7000-pound RV out of the way.

Tori

Then push harder! (they start to argue)

Andre

All right! Let's not bug out. (the argument stops)

Tori

Dude, no one knows we're trapped in this toaster oven.

Andre

Cat just went to the bathroom. She's gonna be back in a few minutes, then she can start becks truck and then pull us forward so we can get out.

Good point.

Jade

Okay. (they sit on the sofa to wait for Cat)

Jade

At least it oscillates.

Andre

Um. I'm still not happy.

Trina

I'm so hot.

Robbie

Where could Cat be?

Tori

I hope she's okay.

Jade

(sweating) Okay. Okay. Something's dripping on me. Something's dripping on me.

Beck

(goes to Jade) Not-not-nothing's dripping.

Jade

Yes. Look on my arm. See? (holds her forehead) And on my forehead. What's going on? What's happening?!

Beck

You're sweating.

Jade

No! No, I'm not. I don't sweat. I'm not sweating.

Beck

Okay.

Jade

No! (Beck holds her arms)

Beck

Look at me!

Jade

No!

Beck

Look at me!

Jade

WHAT?

Beck

You're sweating. (Jade squeals and falls on the floor)

Jade

We've gotta get outta here.

Tori

Yeah. Thank you, Catherine Obvious.

Trina

What?

Tori

I said thank you, Catherine Obvious.

Robbie

(still crying) Did she say "Catherine" Obvious?

Andre

It's Captain Obvious.

Tori

What?

Jade

The expression is "Thank You, Captain Obvious".

Tori

It's not Catherine?

Trina

No.

Beck

Who would Catherine be?

Tori

Catherine could be a captain.

Robbie

Well, can we at least turn on the air conditioning?

Beck

The AC doesn't work unless the truck is running.

Trina

Then go start the truck.

Beck

I can't get out.

Trina

Ohhhhh, why did you invite me here?

Tori

We didn't.

Robbie

You invited yourself.

Jade

No one likes you!

Andre

I'm feeling very hot now.

Robbie

(looks at the thermometer) Guys, It's 102° in here. (everyone groans)

Tori

I need a cold drink.

Beck

(stands up) Me too.

Tori

Where are they?

Beck

In the truck.

Trina

What are we gonna do?

Tori

CCCCCCCCCAAAAAAAAAAAAATTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT! [everybody joins Tori] CAT! CAT! CAT! CAT! CAT! CAT! CAT! CAT! CAT! CAT!

Cat

Wow, you guys really missed me. ...Ew, Jade, you're all sweaty.

Jade

Never speak of it!

Jade

Read the phone, Tori. Read the phone.

Tori

Don't you steal my phone in face bit.

Tori

Yes, I'm wearing a ping pong jacket.

André

How could you not think to bring a fancy dress?

Tori

I don't know. I just didn't, okay?

Beck

You said you reminded everyone to bring nice clothes.

Jade

I did.

Tori

You didn't remind me.

Jade

(sarcastically) Whoops.

Jade

So, who's that?

Tori

Um, this is Danny.

Hey.

Beck

S'up.

Jade

Why are you talking to Tori?

Tori

He goes to my old school.

Sherwood.

Tori

He...was my boyfriend.

Girlfriend.

Jade

So, why'd you dump her?

Beck

Jade...

Jade

Can I guess? Because I got a lotta guesses.

Well, actually...

Tori

You don't have to...

Tori broke up with me.

Jade

Oh. And how did you celebrate?

Tori

Do you ever take a day off? (Jade smiles)

Beck

So, whatcha doin' here?

Tori

Yeah, what are you doing here?

Well, I've kinda been dating this girl that goes here, and I, uh, was supposed to meet her-

Cat

(squeals excitedly and runs in) Daniel!!! (she runs into his arms and they kiss) This is the guy I've been telling you about! My boyfriend!

Tori

(rolls eyes) Oh...

Cat

Daniel, these are my friends. Beck, Jade, and that's Tori.

Tori

Yeah, we...we've met.

Cat

Really? You know Daniel?

Jade

Oh, she knows Daniel.

Tori

(awkward) So...

(also awkward) So...

Jade

(evil smile) So...

Cat

How come everyone's being all weird?

Jade

I'll tell her!

Beck

No, you won't.

Tori

Cat, I used to go to Sherwood, with Danny, before I came to school here.

Cat

Oh, so you guys were friends?

Jade

Yeah, they were good friends.

Cat

Uh, I'm confused.

Tori

Danny and I used to date. (Cat gasps)

Beck

(to Jade) Why don't we walk over to some other location?

Cat

Ok, wait, so like you and Tori were like...

Girlfriend.

Tori

Boyfriend.

Cat

So...

Please don't feel weird about this.

Tori

You really shouldn't. We broke up a year ago.

Yeah, a year.

Tori

It's only been eleven months.

What difference does it make?

Tori

Forget it! The point is, I'm totally cool with you guys dating.

And I'm totally cool that you two are friends.

Cat

Well, ok then. It's all happy!

Tori

Ok.

Jade

I'm bored now. (walks away)

Beck

I apologize for... her. (walks away also)

Jade

(while Cat and Daniel are dancing) Daniel ever spin you like that?

Tori

You wanna get slapped with a sausage?

Jade

(thinking) Sure. (pushes her face towards Tori's expectantly)

Tori

No!

Beck

Tori! Yo, Tori!

Jade

We saw you run in here!

Beck

What's with all that stuff?

Jade

Sinjin and his friends are putting on a play about a camping trip gone wrong.

Beck

Gone wrong?

Jade

They end up eating each other, I don't know!

Beck

Tori! Tori! Yo, Tori!

Tori

(from inside the tent) Ow!!!

Jade

(sing-song) Toooooori! Come out to plaaaaaay!

Tori

Leave me alone.

Beck

What up with the hot cheese attack on Cat?

Jade

And her boyfriend, Daniel.

Tori

Okay. I have left her five voice mails and sent her twelve text messages. Why won't Cat talk to me?!?

André

'Cause you squirted hot cheese in her ear!

Robbie

And played smushy face with her boyfriend.

Jade

Those things upset some girls.

Trina

(to Tori) You wanna try the pooka fish?

Tori

You got rice and soy sauce?

Trina

No.

Tori

Then no!