Tori quotes from Victorious

Tori

(after the long flashback) So, you guys formed a fake ping pong team so you could get some money, buy a trophy for the school, save the principal's job, and take Sikowitz out for a big fancy dinner?

Andre

[pause] Yeah, I guess we could've just told it that way.

Tori

Yes, I'm wearing a ping pong jacket.

André

How could you not think to bring a fancy dress?

Tori

I don't know. I just didn't, okay?

Beck

You said you reminded everyone to bring nice clothes.

Jade

I did.

Tori

You didn't remind me.

Jade

(sarcastically) Whoops.

Jade

So, who's that?

Tori

Um, this is Danny.

Hey.

Beck

S'up.

Jade

Why are you talking to Tori?

Tori

He goes to my old school.

Sherwood.

Tori

He...was my boyfriend.

Girlfriend.

Jade

So, why'd you dump her?

Beck

Jade...

Jade

Can I guess? Because I got a lotta guesses.

Well, actually...

Tori

You don't have to...

Tori broke up with me.

Jade

Oh. And how did you celebrate?

Tori

Do you ever take a day off? (Jade smiles)

Beck

So, whatcha doin' here?

Tori

Yeah, what are you doing here?

Well, I've kinda been dating this girl that goes here, and I, uh, was supposed to meet her-

Cat

(squeals excitedly and runs in) Daniel!!! (she runs into his arms and they kiss) This is the guy I've been telling you about! My boyfriend!

Tori

(rolls eyes) Oh...

Cat

Daniel, these are my friends. Beck, Jade, and that's Tori.

Tori

Yeah, we...we've met.

Cat

Really? You know Daniel?

Jade

Oh, she knows Daniel.

Tori

(awkward) So...

(also awkward) So...

Jade

(evil smile) So...

Cat

How come everyone's being all weird?

Jade

I'll tell her!

Beck

No, you won't.

Tori

Cat, I used to go to Sherwood, with Danny, before I came to school here.

Cat

Oh, so you guys were friends?

Jade

Yeah, they were good friends.

Cat

Uh, I'm confused.

Tori

Danny and I used to date. (Cat gasps)

Beck

(to Jade) Why don't we walk over to some other location?

Cat

Ok, wait, so like you and Tori were like...

Girlfriend.

Tori

Boyfriend.

Cat

So...

Please don't feel weird about this.

Tori

You really shouldn't. We broke up a year ago.

Yeah, a year.

Tori

It's only been eleven months.

What difference does it make?

Tori

Forget it! The point is, I'm totally cool with you guys dating.

And I'm totally cool that you two are friends.

Cat

Well, ok then. It's all happy!

Tori

Ok.

Jade

I'm bored now. (walks away)

Beck

I apologize for... her. (walks away also)

Jade

(while Cat and Daniel are dancing) Daniel ever spin you like that?

Tori

You wanna get slapped with a sausage?

Jade

(thinking) Sure. (pushes her face towards Tori's expectantly)

Tori

No!

Sikowitz

What the hairballs?! (unplugs the water fountain)

(in anger) You got cheese in our hair!

Cat

Tori!

Why did you do that?!

Tori

I don't- I don't know! I was just- (runs off with the sausage still in her hand; Cat starts crying and runs off with Daniel)

Sikowitz

You see? This is what happens when you mix teenagers and hot cheese. (to Lane) I warned you.

Beck

Tori! Yo, Tori!

Jade

We saw you run in here!

Beck

What's with all that stuff?

Jade

Sinjin and his friends are putting on a play about a camping trip gone wrong.

Beck

Gone wrong?

Jade

They end up eating each other, I don't know!

Beck

Tori! Tori! Yo, Tori!

Tori

(from inside the tent) Ow!!!

Jade

(sing-song) Toooooori! Come out to plaaaaaay!

Tori

Leave me alone.

Beck

What up with the hot cheese attack on Cat?

Jade

And her boyfriend, Daniel.

Tori

Okay. I have left her five voice mails and sent her twelve text messages. Why won't Cat talk to me?!?

André

'Cause you squirted hot cheese in her ear!

Robbie

And played smushy face with her boyfriend.

Jade

Those things upset some girls.

Trina

(to Tori) You wanna try the pooka fish?

Tori

You got rice and soy sauce?

Trina

No.

Tori

Then no!

Cat

Let me out!

Tori

Cat!

Cat

This is kidnapping! ...Or cat-napping! (laughs) Open the door!

Tori

I'm sorry! And I'm not just saying I'm sorry, I'm really, really, seriously sorry.

Cat

You sprayed cheese on me and then kissed my boyfriend

Tori

(ashamed of herself) Yeah. Yeah I did.

Cat

Why would you be mean to me?

Tori

I don't know. Maybe I did still have a few tiny little feelings left for Danny and maybe that's why I went a little crazy, seeing you two being all mushy together.

Cat

You could've just talked to me about it.

Tori

I know. What I did was terrible and awful and immature and you have every right to be furious with me. I swear, Cat, if I were you, I'd just punch me right in the face. (Cat punches Tori in the nose) OWWWWWW! [Holds her nose] Cat!

Cat

What?

Tori

You just punched me in the face!

Cat

(innocently) You said to.

Tori

I know, but that's just something people say when– [Her nose hurts even more] OWWWWWWW!

Cat

Does it hurt?

Tori

A lot. I think my nose may be broken.

Cat

(remorseful) Well, now I feel all bad.

Tori

Don't. I deserved it. Feel better?

Cat

I think so.

Tori

I'm sorry.

Tori

Is it broken?

I don't think so. (feels nose) Just bruised...how'd this happen?

Tori

I uh, fell.

On what?

Tori

Something hard.

Cat

Like a rock.

We should get you x-rayed, take a seat over there.

Sikowitz

Tori...

Tori

I swear, I thought I had it on vibrate...

Sikowitz

Class is no place for swearing or vibrating!

Cat

Thanks a lot, Tori.

Tori

Oh, I wish I could go to Karaoke Dokie!

Beck

Why can't you?

Jade

Who cares why she can't?

Beck

I was just wondering why she-

Jade

What, you need Tori around to have a good time, is that your point?

Beck

Dude!

Jade

WHAT?

Sikowitz

JADE! (turns to her) You're lucky to HAVE Beck. Don't be such a GANK! (Tori smirks)

Cat

So, why can't you come?

Tori

Oh, Trina's getting her dumb wisdom teeth out today and guess who gets to spend the entire weekend taking care of her?

Cat

Okay, um...is it someone famous?

Tori

No! ME!

Andre

Why can't your parents take care of her?

Tori

'Cause they're gonna be in Santa Barbara.

Andre

What for?

Tori

So they don't have to take care of Trina!

Beck

Can't blame 'em.

Jade

Shucks to be you.

Tori

(to Jade) Gank.

Tori

Okay, it says that you're supposed to take one of these antibiotics every six hours.

Trina

Uh-uh.

Tori

Okay, open your mouth.

Trina

I don't want that! [she whimpers]

Tori

You have to take it or you'll get an infection.

Trina

No Tori! I don't want it!

Tori

Yes you have to take it, put it in your mouth, put it in your mouth. (says this while Tori tries to get the pill into Trina's mouth as she is struggling)

Tori

Trina! (goes to retrieve the bottle)

Tori

You gotta take this.

Trina

No!

Tori

Yes.

Trina

No! (Trina swings her arm toward Tori and Tori ducks)

Tori

Did you just swing on me?

Trina

(breathing on her hair) Maybe.

Tori

(fixes her messed up hair and yells) Take the pill!

Trina

(screams) No! (Tori tussles with Trina trying to force the pill into her mouth)

Tori

Yes. You have to take it..it's going in your mouth. I don't care what you say. (continues to tussle Trina with her arm around her neck and hair while Trina tries to get her arm off)

Tori

Take the antibiotic, there we go, get it in. Ha, ha! (Trina whimpers as Tori grabs a water bottle) Now swallow it!

Trina

(Tori dumps the water all over her while protesting) No!

Tori

(continues dumping water all over Trina) That's right, get it down there, aha!

Trina

(groans and strains after Tori dumps water all over her)

Cat

Hi.

Jade

Hello.

Cat

We brought you frozen yogurt.

Tori

Why? You know, frozen yogurt doesn't solve all the world's problems!

Jade

I told you to bring donuts!