Larry the Cucumber quotes from VeggieTales

Over here, Larry.

Larry

You know, Bob, I think we need QWERTY for this one. I'll be right back. [hops off]

Uh, Larry, watch out for the... [Larry falls into the sink, spoon flings into the air] ...sink.

Larry

[from inside the sink] Ouch.

[hops over to the sink] Are you okay?

Larry

They didn't mention this in the VeggieBeat magazine.

Heh. You know, Dexter, while I try to get Larry out of the sink, I want you to listen to a story about three boys named Rack, Shack and Benny who were in a pickle just like yours.

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[After Larry as Larry-Boy gets stuck on the side of cardboard building and can't get down. The lights turns on, and Bob enters the countertop.]

Um. Hi, kids! I'm Bob the Tomato, and I think that's Larry the Cucumber.

Larry

I'm Larry-Boy! Who are you?

Larry, it's me, Bob.

Larry

Bob? Bob? I don't know Bob! Say there, citizen! Could you give me a hand with my Super-Suction Ear? It seems to have malfunctioned.

Uh, okay. What do I do?

Larry

Well, it's just that I'm afraid that it's about to let... [his suction ear comes loose and he falls down] ...go. Ouch.

Wow, I didn't know being a superhero could be so painful. Maybe you should just go back to being plain-old Larry.

Larry

[becomes sad] But I don't want to be plain-old Larry anymore.

Why not?

Larry

Well, there's nothing special about plain-old Larry. He can't do anything neat like fly or save people or anything. He's just plain-old boring.

Oh. Not feeling very special, huh?

Larry

Nope.

Hmm. [thinks for a second] Hey, I know.

Larry

What?

I could-- [accidentally gets his nose stuck in Larry-Boy's Super-Suction Ear] Ow, my--

Larry

Oh.

Larry! My no--

Larry

Sorry.

You got my- Eeh! Eeeeeh! Eeeeeh!

Larry

Bob? Pull... Pull back! Pull back, Bob!

[pants] Um, well, what I was going to say, is that we-

[Larry suddenly sneezes, pulling his Super-Suction Ear right off of Bob's nose.]

Ow, that smarts!

Larry

Hey, look! [on his right suction ear, spinning slowly] I'm a Larry-Go-Round!

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[Countertop scene #2; Larry is chilling on the pillow in his Larry-Boy costume, while Bob is telling the story.]

Larry

Uh, Bob? What are the Philippines?

The Philippines are a group of islands off the coast of Southeast Asia, but that's not important now. The Philistines were people who hated Israel. They wanted to take Israel's land and make the Israelites their slaves. So they'd had to do whatever the Philistines told them to do.

Larry

Oh, that's bad.

You're right. So the Israelites needed to protect themselves.

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[Bob is lying upside down in a snow pile after crashing in Junior's sled]

Larry

Bob, Bob! Are you okay!?

Mouse Trap!

Larry

Huh?

I wanted to play Mouse Trap! You roll your dice, you move your mice. Nobody gets hurt.

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Larry

Hi kids. I'm Larry the Cucumber. Welcome to the very first VeggieTales home-improvement video. I hope you're ready to monkey wrench. I know I am. [hops over to the sink] What we're going to do today is change this old leaky fixture on the sink. We're going to replace it with a new one, which will be quite attractive and last for years to come. Oh, and by the way, it's very important with any plumbing job to shut off the water supply. So I had my assistant Jimmy turn off the water to the kitchen. [twists the wrench]

Oh... you meant the kitchen sink. [faucet explodes and sends Larry flying in a blast of water] I thought we were working on bathrooms and decks.

Larry

BOB!!!!!!

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Larry

Hi kids. I'm Larry the Cucumber. Welcome to the very first VeggieTales success video. Are you ready to make millions of dollars in real-estate with no money down? I know I am.

LARRY!

Larry

Yeah, Bob?

Don't you see? This is a sing-along video!

Larry

Ohhhhh, a sing-along video. I like sing-along videos. That's when you put the words at the bottom of the screen so people can sing along at home, right?

Yup.

Larry

Oh, the kids are gonna love that. What song should we do first?

[rolls his eyes since the show's almost over] Never mind. [leaves]

Larry

What? [follows Bob] Hey Bob! Guess what? I bought a whole chocolate factory with no money down.

You did what?

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[first lines; Bob and Larry are on the countertops]

Hi, kids, and welcome to VeggieTales. I'm Bob the Tomato.

Larry

And I'm Larry the Cucumber. And we're here to answer your questions.

That's right. So... who's got a question?

[a short pause as they both look around and think]

Larry

Oh, hey! I just remembered! I got an e-mail from a kid named Ezzio Vietti in Hackensack, New Jersey.

You got a what?

Larry

You know, Bob, e-mail. Aren't you wired, online, [sways his hips] surfing the web? HTML, good buddy.

Oh. I got cable last month.

Larry

You are so early 90s. [Bob is offended] Anyway, Ezzio said he just did something that he knew he wasn't supposed to do. Now his friends are telling him to lie about it so he won't get in trouble. [turns to Bob] What should he do?

Ooooh, a lie could be a dangerous thing. [looks in other direction] Do we have any stories about that?

Larry

Bob, I'm all over it.

[turns back to Larry] Huh?

Larry

The same thing happened to Junior Asparagus once!

It did? I don't remember.

Larry

Ezzio, grab your popcorn, turn down the lights, and get ready for... "Larry-Boy! and the Fib from Outer Space!" Roll film! [hops off]

Huh? Larry! [the countertop lights shuts off, leaving him in the dark both figuratively and literally]

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[Larry and Alfred are playing Candy Land, stomach growling]

Larry

I'm still stuck in the Molasses Swamp. I've been here for 38 turns. Your turn, Alfred.

AAlfred (Archibald)

Right, let's see. [draws a card] Oh, look! I get to go all the way to Princess Lolly! What luck! HA! Your turn.

Larry

[draws a card] Still stuck. I sure hope the rest of Bumblyburg is having more fun than I am.

[Larry looks out the window to see the Larry-Signal flashing urgently. He and Alfred immediately stand up]

Larry

Alfred, I've got work to do. Consider our game... postponed.

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The next day, they all set off again to march around Jericho. Now, God never said it would be easy. No, the people of Jericho hit 'em with everything they had.

Jean-Claude

Fire one! Fire two!

But the Israelites remembered that they were following God's directions and they kept on marching. Six days they marched and nothing could stop them. On the seventh day, just like God had told them, they marched around Jericho seven times while the priests blew their horns. ["When the Saints Go Marching In" playing] And just like God said, when they finished marching, the priests blew one long blast and then all the people yelled.

IIsraelites

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

Pa Grape

[hacking]

[The Israelites look up at the wall as it's still standing. The soldiers laugh at their enemies' seemingly futile attempts to destroy their wall, when suddenly, a brick jumps out of its place. This silences their laughter. As they turn to see the brick, a low rumbling is heard. The rumbling sound gets louder as the ground starts to quake.]

FPFrench Peas

[looking look at each other for two seconds and realize their wall is collapsing.] AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!

[Joshua and the Israelites back away from the wall as it starts to collapse. The huge gong bell falls off along with the tower with a loud bang noise. As the walls collapse, a huge dust storm blows as the Israelites shut their eyes tight. Eventually, the dust clears and the Israelites are all covered in dust. Jericho has been reduced to bricks, broken pillars and a single bathtub. The dust covered soldiers are somehow unharmed.]

FPFrench Peas

[gasp]

Larry

Hello! My name is Joshua, and God has given us this land!

FPFrench Peas

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!! [They finally surrender and run away from Joshua and their destroyed fortress in fright]

So the Israelites obeyed God and the walls fell down.

Junior

Wow!

Finally, after 40 years, they were in their new home.

[has dust in his eye] Ow! Hey! Oh, yeah. Oh… Ow! Ow! Boy, did I pick a lousy day to wear my contacts!

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Larry

[after The Thankfulness Song] [sniffles] Yeah. Maybe I should just try to be thankful for the time I did have with my Silly Songs. [sobbing] Bye, Silly Songs. [voice breaking] Nice knowin' ya. [tearfully sings] It isn't any trouble just to S-M-I-L-E...

Okay, wrong song. Bad timing.

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Look. Pal. M-Maybe it's none of my business but...why are you so down? You want to tell me what's going on?

I'll tell you what's going on! Perhaps this will clear things up... [Archibald and Larry glare at each other for a bit before he selects his song: "His Cheeseburger" from "Madame Blueberry"]

Larry

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

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[Archibald has just confessed to his cancelling of Silly Songs]

[gasps] You don't mean...?

Yes! It's my fault! All my fault! I'm the one to blame!

That's despicable. I'd feel that way too if somebody took my songs away.

It's just that I was only looking out for the public's best interests. We do have standards to uphold, you know. [Jimmy glares] Yes, I see. But then I got these! [pulls out a stack of signed petitions and reads] "We the undersigned believe that Archibald Asparagus should forgive and forget the Song of the Cebu incident and return Silly Songs with Larry to its original Veggie programming. Signed, 167,512 adoring fans, including, but not limited to, the entire population of Duluth, Minnesota, and even someone in Moose Lake."

Larry

Moose Lake?

Yes, Moose Lake.

Larry

Wow... Moose Lake.

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Larry

[he sees the Weed on the flowerbed] Hey! You're a weed!

WThe Weed

That's right, but did you hear about Alfred?

Larry

Oh, Alfred's gonna be mad! He hates weeds in his flowerbed!

WThe Weed

Yeah, but, did you hear about Alfred?

Larry

You better get out of here, before Alfred comes back!

WThe Weed

You're not listening to me! Did you hear... Ugh.

AAlfred

[off-screen] Master Larry! It's the Mayor! She says it's urgent!

Larry

I'll be right there! [to The Weed] I gotta go. Hold that thought. [hops back into the mansion, barges in] Alfred, there's a huge weed on your flower bed! I told it to leave.

AAlfred

Oh, dear. Well, wait til you hear what the Mayor has to say.

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[As Jimmy and Jerry Gourd are on the countertop, disguised as Bob and Larry.]

Jimmy Gourd

Now, we got a letter today, from a kid named, uh... Jimmy, who lives in a place near... Texas somewhere.

Jerry Gourd

Yeah, Texas!

This kid, uh, Jimmy, says that he knows this other kid named, uh...

Jerry!

Yeah, sure! Jerry! This other kid named Jerry! Now, Jimmy says that this kid, Jerry, is soooo selfish, one of the most selfish kids in the whole world, so selfish, it just makes you sick!

No. No, he's not.

Who's not?

Jerry. He's not selfish, he's nice.

No! He's selfish! Remember? The letter?

Uh, no! Jimmy said that Jerry was nice, and that other kid... Hubert was selfish!

Hubert?

Yeah. Hubert.

Who's gonna name their kid Hubert? Look, Jerry- er, Larry! In the letter we got today from that kid Jimmy who lives near Texas somewhere, it said that his friend Jerry was selfish! That's what it said, remember?

[angrily; his Larry costume falls off] You want a piece of me?!

Hey! Whoa! Oh, man! You're the one who said Jerry! I was gonna--

Bob the Tomato

[offscreen] Hey! What's going on here?!

[Jerry puts Larry costume back on upside down. Bob and Larry enter the countertop.]

Larry the Cucumber

Yeah! What are you guys doing?!

Uh, hi there! I'm Bob the Tomato!