Scenes with Jimmy Gourd 20
Jimmy GourdYou know, sometimes differences can be good... if we just take the time to get to know each other.
Yeah, maybe. So, why do you eat so much?
Jimmy
Uh, we're hungry, I guess.
It's our metabolism or something.
Jimmy
You know, sometimes I think I could eat a whole bus!
Yeah? Well, sometimes I think I could eat a whole spaceship!
Jimmy
Oh, yeah? Well, sometimes I think I could eat a whole PLANET!
[The word "planet" echoes in Junior's brain]
Scooter, how many escape pods d'you say there were?
Jimmy! Did you mean what you said about eating a whole planet?
Jimmy
Well, sure, but...
How would you guys like to help save the ship?
Jimmy
Well, gosh, that'd be swell!
JJJimmy and Jerry
LET'S EAT IT!!!!!!!!!!
[Jimmy and Jerry are eating the popcorn meteor.]
Do you think it's possible?
If anyone can do it, they can.
[Bob, Larry, Junior, and Scooter keep watching as the gourds eat the meteor.]
Only ten seconds left! I sure hope those gourds were hungry! Five... Four... Three... Two... One... INCOMING!!!!!!!!
[Everyone ducks for cover. A high-pitched whistling sound leads up to Jimmy and Jerry splatting against the windshield without a meteor in sight.]
Jimmy
No more for me, thanks. I'm full. [burps] 'Scuse me.
[A sheep falls over by Jimmy]
Jimmy Gourd
Oh, Dave! One of my sheep fell over! Will you come pick it up for me?
DDave (Junior Asparagus)
[struggling to pick up another sheep] I'm kinda busy right now.
Jimmy
[miffed] Do you remember the time we dipped you in tar and stuck you to the backside of an angry water buffalo?
DDave
I'll be right there!
[Another sheep falls over by Tom]
Hey, Dave! One of my sheep fell, too!
[Jerry knocks over a row of sheep]
[smugly] Oh, look! All of my sheep fell over. Dave!
Jimmy
Oh, Dave! After you pick up our sheep, could you run and get me a bite to eat? I'm famished!
Oh, yeah! Me, too! Get me something, too!
Jimmy
You know, sometimes I think I could eat a whole camel!
Oh, yeah? Well, sometimes I think I could eat a whole spaceship!
Jimmy
[confused] Uh, what's a spaceship?
[Pa Grape as Jesse runs out to the field, until he bumps into some of the other sheep.]
JJesse (Pa Grape)
Uh, Dave? Can you pick those up? [to Jimmy, Jerry and Tom] Oh! Oh boys! Ooo! Oh, boys! I've got-I've got horrible news! The Phili... The Ph... The-the... The Philistines are, uh... Ah uh... Ah, the... They're a... ttacking!
[Jimmy, Jerry and Tom is confused at what Jesse says.]
Jimmy
The lima beans are uh... lacking?
The nectarines are... quacking?
Jimmy
One more time, please, and let's work on our enunciation.
JJesse
THE PHILISTINES ARE ATTACKING!
[Jimmy, Jerry, Tom and Jesse start screaming in terror about it.]
[The Philistines, portrayed by the French Peas, are taunting the Israelites from across the battlefield]
Hello, Israelites! You are pigs, and soon we will put apples in your mouths and stick you in our toaster ovens! Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!
CChristophe
Ah, yes, after we defeat you, you will be our slaves and you will have to fetch us our slippers.
Yes, and iron our trousers!
CChristophe
Ho-ho, and wipe our little noses.
Ha-ha, and scratch that spot on our backs that we cannot reach no matter how hard we try. Ha! [no response from the Israelites] Don't you have anything to say?
Jimmy
Um... Do you guys have any fried chicken? I've got a real hankering for fried chicken.
[to Christophe] This is going to be easier than we thought.
GGoliath
Who will fight me?!
DDave
I will fight you, Goliath!
Jimmy
[to Tom and Jerry] You know, if I didn't know better, I'd say that sounded like Dave!
[laughs] Well, yeah! [spots Dave running out onto the battlefield] You know, if I didn't know better, I'd say that looks like Dave!
DSDave's Brothers
[shocked] Huh?! [Dave smiles at his brothers] DAVE?! [Jimmy faints]
[narrating] Goliath was equally surprised.
DDave
[clears throat] I did!
GGoliath
Huh? [sees Dave] Oh ho ho! Am I a dog that you come at me with sticks?
[Philistines laugh]
DDave
I don't exactly know what you mean, but you are not a dog! You're just a really big guy who wants to beat me up! And I come at you not with sticks, but in the name of the God of Israel, who this day will help me defeat you!
GGoliath
We will see who defeats who! Now we fight!
Hi kids. I'm Larry the Cucumber. Welcome to the very first VeggieTales home-improvement video. I hope you're ready to monkey wrench. I know I am. [hops over to the sink] What we're going to do today is change this old leaky fixture on the sink. We're going to replace it with a new one, which will be quite attractive and last for years to come. Oh, and by the way, it's very important with any plumbing job to shut off the water supply. So I had my assistant Jimmy turn off the water to the kitchen. [twists the wrench]
Jimmy
Oh... you meant the kitchen sink. [faucet explodes and sends Larry flying in a blast of water] I thought we were working on bathrooms and decks.
[Jimmy and Jerry Gourd are watching a meteor on the screen in the science lab.]
Jimmy
I'm bored, Jerry. B-O-R-D, bored. Why did we want to work at the Bumblyburg science lab? Cause we wanted to see space aliens. And what have we seen in two long years? Huh? Nothing! Nothing, N-U-T-... Well, you know, nothing.
Jimmy
"Watch the screen," they said, "keep your eyes on the screen." So we watched the screen for two years and what have we seen? Nothing!
[An alarm begins to blare with red light flashing.]
Jimmy
And then there's the light. "If this light ever flashes, something from space is about to hit Bumblyburg! Alert LarryBoy immediately!"
Jimmy! [starts to tremble]
Jimmy
Like that'll ever happen, I'm telling you, Jerry, this is the most boring job on Earth. [Jerry silently gulps, he stands next to him.] Maybe we can get our old jobs back at Mr. Slushy! What?
[He and Jerry look at the satellite image and starts to tremble, and they look at the button for the LarrySignal. The camera cuts to a building top with the LarrySignal as it activates.]
[The defenders of Jericho, played by the French Peas, are taunting the Israelites from atop the city's great wall]
JJosh (Larry the Cucumber)
Who are you?
Who are we? I think we should ask. Who are you?
JJosh
Oh, um... I am Joshua. And these are the children of Israel.
PPhilippe
Ooh! Hello, children!
Jimmy Gourd
Hi!
PPhilippe
It was nice to meet you. Now go away!
JJosh
[clears throat] No, you don't understand. God has given us this land for our new home. So, well... you're gonna have to leave.
PPhilippe
[laughs] Did you hear that, Jean-Claude? The little pickle says we have to leave!
[laughs] That is hilarious! [clears throat] Let me point something out to you, pickle. We have a wall!
If anyone is to be doing the leaving, it will be you!
PPhilippe
Oh, that is right!
JJosh
Now, listen to me! Our God said that this land was ours, and that all we had to do was follow His directions. So... I'm afraid... if you don't come out, we're gonna have to come in there after you!
[Jean-Claude and Philippe laugh.]
I'd like to see you try! You could never get over our giant wall, [under breath] tiny pickle!
PPhilippe
Yes, tiny pickle! You are not a mighty dill, you are just a baby gherkin!
JJosh
[feeling insulted] I'm a cucumber!
[Jean-Claude and Philippe laugh]
PPhilippe
[bumps his slushie off the edge] Ooh! My slushie!
[The slushie hits Jimmy on the head. Josh is appalled]
Jimmy
[frustrated] Maybe we should fall back and regroup.
[Discouraged by the giant walls of Jericho, the Israelites discuss plans over a campfire]
This time, I really mean it! We should go back to Egypt. [everybody looks at him in disbelief] Don't you remember? Snorkeling in the Nile? Three square meals a day? Plenty of exercise? Oh, it was paradise!
Jimmy
Listen, kids! That land is rightfully ours! And the only way we're gonna get it is by taking down that wall! Right, Jerry?
Uh, yeah. Th-That's right, Jimmy.
Jimmy
So Jerry and I are gonna put our heads together and come up with a plan... to take down the wall!
[Josh finishes explaining God's directions to the Israelites]
Jimmy
So... we're supposed to hop around the city for seven days, blow our little horns, yell, and the walls are just gonna fall down.
JJosh
Yep. Those are God's directions.
Jimmy
Well... I'm sure that would work great... if the walls were made out of Jell-O!
Ooh! Then we could eat 'em!
PPa
Last call for Egypt! Who's coming with me?
SCScooter Carrot
Count me in!
Jimmy
Just a minute! I think you'll find our plan a bit more sophisticated. Blowin' horns in the desert isn't gonna do it. What we need is serious firepower. Jerry, the curtain! [Jerry uncovers a tarp to reveal a giant rocket; Scooter, Pa, and Tom gasp in amazement] Behold our creation: the Wallminator 3000! [the Israelites applaud]
The next day, they all set off again to march around Jericho. Now, God never said it would be easy. No, the people of Jericho hit 'em with everything they had.
But the Israelites remembered that they were following God's directions and they kept on marching. Six days they marched and nothing could stop them. On the seventh day, just like God had told them, they marched around Jericho seven times while the priests blew their horns. ["When the Saints Go Marching In" playing] And just like God said, when they finished marching, the priests blew one long blast and then all the people yelled.
IIsraelites
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!
[The Israelites look up at the wall as it's still standing. The soldiers laugh at their enemies' seemingly futile attempts to destroy their wall, when suddenly, a brick jumps out of its place. This silences their laughter. As they turn to see the brick, a low rumbling is heard. The rumbling sound gets louder as the ground starts to quake.]
FPFrench Peas
[looking look at each other for two seconds and realize their wall is collapsing.] AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!
[Joshua and the Israelites back away from the wall as it starts to collapse. The huge gong bell falls off along with the tower with a loud bang noise. As the walls collapse, a huge dust storm blows as the Israelites shut their eyes tight. Eventually, the dust clears and the Israelites are all covered in dust. Jericho has been reduced to bricks, broken pillars and a single bathtub. The dust covered soldiers are somehow unharmed.]
Hello! My name is Joshua, and God has given us this land!
FPFrench Peas
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!! [They finally surrender and run away from Joshua and their destroyed fortress in fright]
So the Israelites obeyed God and the walls fell down.
Finally, after 40 years, they were in their new home.
Jimmy
[has dust in his eye] Ow! Hey! Oh, yeah. Oh… Ow! Ow! Boy, did I pick a lousy day to wear my contacts!
[after The Thankfulness Song] [sniffles] Yeah. Maybe I should just try to be thankful for the time I did have with my Silly Songs. [sobbing] Bye, Silly Songs. [voice breaking] Nice knowin' ya. [tearfully sings] It isn't any trouble just to S-M-I-L-E...
Jimmy
Okay, wrong song. Bad timing.
Jimmy
Look. Pal. M-Maybe it's none of my business but...why are you so down? You want to tell me what's going on?
I'll tell you what's going on! Perhaps this will clear things up... [Archibald and Larry glare at each other for a bit before he selects his song: "His Cheeseburger" from "Madame Blueberry"]
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
[Archibald has just confessed to his cancelling of Silly Songs]
Jimmy
[gasps] You don't mean...?
Yes! It's my fault! All my fault! I'm the one to blame!
Jimmy
That's despicable. I'd feel that way too if somebody took my songs away.
It's just that I was only looking out for the public's best interests. We do have standards to uphold, you know. [Jimmy glares] Yes, I see. But then I got these! [pulls out a stack of signed petitions and reads] "We the undersigned believe that Archibald Asparagus should forgive and forget the Song of the Cebu incident and return Silly Songs with Larry to its original Veggie programming. Signed, 167,512 adoring fans, including, but not limited to, the entire population of Duluth, Minnesota, and even someone in Moose Lake."
VeggieTales · 158 quotes
