Larry the Cucumber quotes from VeggieTales

Larry

[yawns] Is it time for the show? [the lights and Qwerty's monitor screen turns off] Aw, nuts.

Larry

[singing] Whether whether whether whether, whether you like it or not. Weather weather weather weather, weather is cold warm and hot.

Bob

Okay, Larry. It's time for the theme song.

Larry

Uh. Yeah, Bob. What do I do?

Bob

Hmm, okay. How about this? You play the guitar.

Larry

Bob, I don't have any hands.

Bob

Oh, right. Okay, okay, uh, will you play this?

Larry

I don't want to play that. It'll look silly!

Bob

Oh, come on! It'll be fun!

Larry

Nope, not gonna do it.

Bob

It's for the kids.

Larry

Oh, okay. But they better not laugh.

Bob

Okay. It's time now. You better go on out there.

Bob

Okay, Larry. It's time for the theme song.

Larry

Uh. Yeah, Bob. What do I do?

Bob

Hmm, let's see. I know! You play the guitar.

Larry

Bob, I don't have any hands.

Bob

Oh, you're right. Okay, you play this.

Larry

I don't want to play that. It'll look silly!

Bob

Oh, come on! It'll be fun!

Larry

Nope, not gonna do it.

Bob

It's for the kids.

Larry

Oh, okay. But they better not laugh.

Bob

All right, you better get on out there.

Bob

♪ If you like to talk to tomatoes / If a squash can make you smile / If you like to waltz with potatoes / Up and down the produce aisle... ♪ Have we got a show for you!

♪ VeggieTales, VeggieTales, VeggieTales, VeggieTales, VeggieTales, VeggieTales, VeggieTales, Veg-gie-Tales! ♪

Bob

♪ Broccoli, celery, gotta be... (Veggie, veggie, it's VeggieTales! / Veggie, veggie, it's VeggieTales! / Veggie, veggie...) ♪

♪ VeggieTales! ♪

Junior

♪ Lima beans, collard greens, peachy keen... (Veggie, veggie, it's VeggieTales! / Veggie, veggie, it's VeggieTales! / Veggie, veggie...) ♪

♪ VeggieTales! ♪

Larry

♪ Cauliflower, sweet and sour, half an hour... (Veggie, veggie, it's VeggieTales! / Veggie, veggie, it's VeggieTales! / Veggie, veggie...) ♪

♪ VeggieTales! / There's never, ever, ever, ever, ever been a show like VeggieTales! / There's never, ever, ever, ever, ever been a show like VeggieTales! / It's time for VeggieTa-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-ales! ♪

Bob

Hi, kids, and welcome to VeggieTales. I'm Bob the Tomato.

Larry

And I'm Larry the Cucumber.

Bob

And we're here to answer your questions.

Larry

That's right.

Bob

[hops to the letter] Now today, we got a letter from Lucy Anderson of Phoenix, Arizona, who writes:

[offscreen] "Dear Bob and Larry, I am six years old. Sometimes, I think that there are monsters in my closet. That makes me real scared. Can you help me?"

Larry

Oooh. I remember once I thought there were monsters in my closet.

Bob

Yeah? Well, what happened, Larry?

Larry

Well, it turned out that they weren't really monsters at all. Just my fluffy bunny slippers! And they're not so scary... just kind of squishy.

Bob

Oh I see. Well Lucy Anderson, first check to see if it's just your slippers, and then watch this story about when Junior Asparagus got a little bit scared.

Bob the Tomato

Look up at that window. What do you see?

Junior Asparagus

My curtains.

Bob

No! Out the window, up in the sky.

Junior

I see lots of stars.

Larry the Cucumber

God made all those stars out of nothing, he just went, [razzes], and there they were.

Bob

Hey, kids. Welcome to VeggieTales. I'm Bob the Tomato.

Larry

And I'm Larry the Cucumber.

Bob

And we're here to answer your questions.

Larry

Yep.

Bob

Now, Larry.

Larry

Yeah, Bob?

Bob

The other day, I was walking home from my bowling league, when I bumped into Marco, one of our TV friends.

Larry

Oh. That... That's great!

Bob

Mmm-hmm. Now Marco has a question for us... He said that when his baby sister does something that makes him mad & then she said she's sorry, Marco's mom says he need to forgive her. Why does he have to forgive?

Larry

Oh, that's a good question. Hmmm... [thinks for a little bit] Oh, I know! I'll tell Marco the story of "The Grapes of Wrath"!

Bob

Oh, that's a classic. [to the viewers] This will be good.

Larry

Once upon a time, there were some very cranky grapes.

Bob

Umm, [turns to Larry] are you sure that's how "The Grapes of Wrath" goes?

Larry

Oh, yeah.

Bob

Oh, okay.

Larry

Uh, Bob?

Bob

W-yeah, Larry?

Larry

Try not to interrupt.

Bob

Oh, sorry.

Larry

Once upon a time, there were some very cranky grapes.

Bob the Tomato

Boy, I sure am glad they got that straightened out.

Larry the Cucumber

Yep, the grapes were really sorry this time, so once again, Junior forgave them.

Junior Asparagus

[angrily] What?!

I said, "once again, Junior forgave them."

Junior

Are you serious?!?

Larry

Well, I think so. Bob am I serious?

Bob

Oh yeah, Larry. Yeah, y-you're serious. Mmm-hmm.

Junior

I'm supposed to forgive them again? After what they just did to me?!

Larry

Well, uh... yeah.

Junior

Sure, I forgave them for calling me "Bean Boy" and saying I had cheese on my head. But now they're making fun of my name and they laughed when the hoe almost smacked my face CLEEEEAAAAN off, and then the truck picked me up and threw me in the sand! And you're telling me, I'm supposed to forgive them AGAIN!?!

Larry

Um, well, are you guys really sorry?

We're sorry, and we'll never do it again!

Bob

Hey, QWERTY, can you help us? [QWERTY nods] We need to know how many times we're supposed to forgive people, according to the Bible. Maybe um, seven times? [QWERTY shows a light bulb for idea, then pulls a verse] Matthew 18:22. Jesus answered, "I tell you, not seven times, but seventy times seven."

Larry

Oh! 70 × 7.

Bob

70 × 7. I see.

Larry

Um, do you know what 70 × 7 is?

Bob

Nope, how about you?

Larry

Nope.

Bob

Well, does anybody know what 70 × 7 is?

Nine?

Let's see, I remember from college, it was, uh... π, r... oy!

Tom

Was it two? Or maybe... Seven?

490!

Ooh!

Now, that's one smart grape.

I remember that day, that fateful trip.

Why, yes. It started from that tropic port, aboard our tiny ship.

Now Larry, he was a mighty sailin' man.

And Bob, he was brave and sure.

And weren't there five passengers booked that day, on our three-hour tour?

Ah, yes... our three-hour tour.

There was the Professor.

And we were there.

Of course. And the millionaire.

And his wife.

Yep. And wasn't there a movie star and that other girl?

Yeah, but they cancelled.

Oh, boy. This is the life. There's nothing I'd rather be than First-mate Larry. Well, nothing, that is, except... [with a fake Russian accent] Captain Larry Romanoff, the famous Russian icebreaker pilot. Today, Captain Larry must free whales. Two great whales trapped in ice. But, there is problem! A large iceberg stands between Captain Larry and whales. There may not be enough time to go around it! But surely, even Captain Larry is not brave enough to smash through the iceberg! NO ONE HAS EVER DONE SUCH A THING! [Captain Larry sets the boat to maximum speed and steers toward the huge iceberg] Yes, this is no time for cowards! Captain Larry will smash the iceberg, and free the whales! [Commander Boblov arrives] Ah, Commander Boblov has come to congratulate Captain Larry for his bravery.

Bob

Hey, Larry. We're making snow cones back there. Do you want peach or strawberry?

Larry

Um, not now, Bob. First, I have to smash through this iceberg and free some whales.

Bob

[incredulously] There are no icebergs around here.

Larry

Oh, yeah? Well, what do you call that?

AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!

Oh, the brochure didn't say anything about layovers.

Archibald Asparagus

Well, you see, Lovey, I believe we had some sort of an accident.

Bob

Yes, we most certainly had an accident, [angrily turns to Larry] and I think someone has some explaining to do.

Larry

Well, you see, there were these whales, and they were stuck on the ice, and the only way to get 'em out was to smash that iceberg over there, except it turned out to be a rock, and rocks are a lot harder than icebergs.

It just so happens that the nearest iceberg is 2,640 miles away. What were you thinking?

Bob

You smashed our boat! Now what're we gonna do?

You've ruined our vacation. What do you have to say for yourself?

Larry

Um... I'm sorry? [brightly] At least the boat's still floating. [The boat sinks immediately and Larry frowns guiltily] Oh.

Archibald

[annoyed] Alright, I'll need to call my broker. I'm going to look for a phone.

That evening, we all worked together to build some huts to sleep in, but we were still pretty mad at Larry.

Larry

Gee, it's kinda nice out here. Maybe this isn't so bad after all, Huh Bob?

Bob

[still annoyed] Not so bad? What do you mean "Not so bad"?! Our boat is at the bottom of the ocean and we're stuck on this island, in the middle of nowhere, with no way to get home!

Larry

I said I was "sorry". At least you could forgive me.

Bob

Well it's just that we're... Well, can't you see we're... I just... I just... can't! [turns away] Oh!

Larry

I said I was "sorry".

Bob

Well, that's just not good enough. Good night. [turns to sleep]

Larry

Not good enough? Not good enough?! He means-He means I'm not good enough. They all think I'm not good enough. I bet they be happier if I just left. So that's what I'll do. [climbs out of bed] I'm just gonna-gonna take my things and just go away, Yeah. [looks for those, but didn't see them] I don't have any things, so I'll just go. With just my hat. [hops out of the hut] Goodbye, Bob. I hope you find a first mate that's good enough.

Larry

Hey, Bob?

Bob

Yeah, Larry?

Larry

Um, next summer, let's just sell lemonade, like everyone else.

Bob

That sounds like a good idea.

Bob

Hi, kids, and welcome to VeggieTales. I'm Bob the Tomato.

Larry

And I'm Larry the Cucumber.

Bob

And we're here to answer your questions.

Larry

Yep.

Bob

I bet you're wondering why Larry has a shoe on his head.

Larry

Yeah, Bob. Why do I have a shoe on my head.

Bob

Well, I got a letter today from Latasha Robbins of Savannah, Georgia. Latasha wants to know what loving your neighbor really means.

Larry

And that's why I have a shoe on my head?

Bob

Yes! No! Well, kind of!

Larry

Help me out here, Bob.

Bob

You see, I'm about to tell Latasha "The Story of Flibber-o-Loo", and in that story, you, Larry, have a shoe on your head.

Larry

Oh, it's all so clear now! Hurry up and tell the story. My head's starting to sweat.

Bob

Okay, here it goes.