Mr. Lunt quotes from VeggieTales

Mr. Lunt

Personally, I found the book riveting, full of flawed characters and classic American humor.

Grandpa George

Heh! The Nezzer Chocolate Bunny! Every day, they make 14,638 of these li'l fellers, give or take a few. Oh yeah, Mr. Nezzer! Nebby K. Nezzer. But you better call him Mr. Nezzer. Now, Mr. Nezzer's not a bad man, he just gets confused sometimes. Why, his chocolate bunnies are sellin' so well, I think he's gotten a little big for his britches. And that's saying something, so his britches'll break out to start out with. What's all that have to do with Rack, Shack & Benny? Well, their troubles started when Mr. Nezzer made a little announcement.

Mr. Nezzer

Attention, little people! I have an announcement! This morning, the Nezzer Chocolate Factory has shipped its two-millionth chocolate bunny! To celebrate this momentous occasion, for the next 30 minutes, everyone may eat as many bunnies they want! Bon appétit!

Mr. Lunt

[operating the TV camera] Hey, boss, that's awfully nice of you to give away all those bunnies.

Mr. Nezzer

Oh, if I could just see the looks on their faces right now. [takes a rest]

Mr. Nezzer

Everybody else is lying down, but you three are standing up.

Mr. Lunt

Actually, boss, I think the tomato is sitting.

I'm standing.

Mr. Lunt

Sitting!

Look, [squats] this is sitting... [stretches up] and this is standing. I'm standing.

Mr. Lunt

Okay, he's standing.

Mr. Nezzer

What're your names, boys?

I'm Shadrach.

I'm Abumblebee... Abennyboo... I'm Benny.

Mr. Lunt

[notices that Rack, Shack and Benny aren't bowing] Hey, boss? Those three guys, they don't look like they're bowing.

Mr. Nezzer

[confused] Hmm... aren't those our new Junior Executives?

Mr. Lunt

I think so. Maybe they're stuck.

Mr. Nezzer

Let's find out. [moves the podium over to Rack, Shack and Benny] I said, it's time to sing "The Bunny Song."

Come on, guys, sing the song! Everybody's doing it.

Mr. Nezzer

[with increasing frustration] Sing the song!

Mr. Lunt

They ain't singing, boss.

Mr. Nezzer

[finally on the brink of losing his temper] SING!

Mr. Nezzer

Is that "The Bunny Song?"

Mr. Lunt

[skeptical] No, I don't think so.

[worried] Are you crazy? That's the wrong song!

Mr. Nezzer

[touched] Oh, that was wonderful. I'm gonna be singing that song myself... [suddenly angry] as I throw you into the furnace! GUARDS! [Rack, Shack and Benny are shocked] Seize them! Take them to the furnace.

I've gotta help them. But how?

Grandpa George

[off-camera] Rack, Shack and Benny will be right back, after this short break.

I said, NOBODY bakes my buddies!

Mr. Nezzer

[as a pin holding the door shut starts to bend under their weight] Listen here, young lady, if you don't plug that back in, you're gonna be in BIIIIIIG trouble!

Mr. Nezzer

[laughs evilly] Nobody's ever gonna stand up to me again! [lights turns off] Hmm?

Mr. Lunt

Hey boss, how many guys did we throw in the furnace?

Mr. Nezzer

Uh, three?

Mr. Lunt

Well, it looks like four guys in there now and one of them's REAL SHINY! One more thing, boss. They ain't burnin' up.

Mr. Nezzer

Rack! Shack! Benny, come out of there!

Mr. Nezzer

God has saved you from the fiery furnace. Oh I was wrong to try and make you do things you weren't supposed to do. What was I thinking? I must have forgot everything my mommy taught me. Can you ever forgive me?

We forgive you.

Mr. Nezzer

Oh, thanks. Is there anything I can do to make it up to you?

Well, you could sing one of our songs.

Mr. Nezzer

How's it go?

You know. I was hoping you'd ask.

[dressed as Santa Claus] Ho ho ho! Merry Christmas! Hey kids, do you have the "don't know what I want for Christmas" blues? If I know my toys, and you know I do, than I know just what you're looking for. You want a toy that's fun. You want a toy that's cute. Most importantly, you want a toy with a fully-functioning buzzsaw in his right hand. That's right, you want Buzz-Saw Louie!

Mr. Nezzer

Cool, huh? But wait, there's more! Buzz-Saw Louie also knows the true meaning of Christmas. All you have to do is push his nose and... [presses the Louie's nose]

Christmas is when you get stuff! You need more toys!

Mr. Nezzer

Getting your own doll is easy. Just have your parents place an order, and one of our trained penguins will deliver it right to your door.

Delivery not available to Pugslyville due to the collapse of the Pugslyville Bridge.

Mr. Nezzer

So take it from me, Mr. Nezzer... I mean, Santa Claus and his little elf helper.

Mr Lunt

[wearing pointed ears and hat] Look at me, I'm an elf!

Mr. Nezzer

You just won't be happy until you have Buzz-Saw Louie, the only toy with a working buzzsaw and the true meaning of Christmas.

Billy has more toys than you.

But soft, 'tis Ophelia. [no response; Omelet repeats with emphasis] But soft! Tis Ophelia!

Mr. Lunt

[from off-stage, wearing a pink dress] But I don't wanna do it! It's embarrassing!

Don't be ridiculous! It's tradition! In Shakespeare's day, all the women's roles were played by men! [shoves Lunt out onto the stage]

Mr. Lunt

I think we're gonna get letters about this... [in character] 'Tis I, the fair Ophelia.