Berg quotes from Two Guys, a Girl and a Pizza Place

Berg

I have to meet Bernie and Fitz at the gym at nine. We're watching intermediate aerobics.

Pete

Come on Berg, just go to the ten o'clock session.

Berg

That's advanced aerobics. Any girl with that kind of discipline, totally wrong for me.

Sharon

Just because Pete brings her pizza doesn't mean he's delivering the sausage.

Berg

I never...want to forget you said that.

Pete

This girl is a nightmare.

Berg

She’s like us…but a chick. You know I’m going to do her the ultimate favor and not date her.

Pete

Me too!

Pete

She’s completely my type, she has conviction, she’s principled.

Berg

Yeah, yeah but under that she’s exactly my type - naked.

Berg

After you have a drink with us.

Sharon

I can't drink.

Berg

Then why are you in college?

Bill

Tell me something. How come none of you guys date Sharon?

Berg

She's Sharon.

Bill

What's that got to do with anything?

Berg

Pete, explain it.

Pete

She's Sharon.

Berg

Help me pick a new major, No, I'm serious. I need to make a decision, go ahead pick a major, any major.

Pete

Russian Economics.

Berg

Phew, glad that's over with.

Berg

See something you like?

Ashley

Wow. Where'd you get that line, because you need to give it back.

Berg

All they do is study, they're pathetic.

Pete

Yeah, yeah I know. I mean that's who I want operating on me, the guy who just wings it.

Sharon

Berg, there's nothing wrong with being number two. I mean just as many people remember the second man on the moon, Captain, uh, what's his face.

Berg

Yeah, well, your chemical company destroys the planet.

Sharon

True, but we're number one at it.

Pete

Berg, all this means is you're just going to have to study a little bit more.

Berg

Or, find out who is number one and take them down.

Pete

Yes, you're maturing nicely

Berg

Excuse me, I bet I can guess your phone number.

No you can't.

Berg

Okay, you got me, you'd better write it down.

Pete

So, if you were a brady... you'd be Jan!

Berg

You're enjoying this, aren't you?

Pete

Does it show?

Pete

You da Bomb!

Sharon

Where did he learn that?!

Berg

I just, don't know!

Pete

Guys, come on -- for once I need my own life.

Berg

He can't have his own life. Especially when we got nothing going on.