Tara Thornton quotes from True Blood

Tara

School is just for white people looking for other white people to read to them, I figure I'd save my money and just read to myself.

Tara

(to her girlfriend) Everyone who's ever been with me has ended up dead. It ain't a long list, but it's a bad one to be on.

Tara

You know love doesn't have to be a competition between you and everybody else.

Tara

Uh-uh! Do - do not snap at me. I have a name. And that name is Tara. Ain't that some fucked up shit, a black girl being named after a plantation? [laughs softly and then glares] No I don't think it's funny at all. In fact it really pisses me off that my momma was either stupid or just plain mean. Which is why you better be nice if you plan on getting a drink tonight.

Sorry ma'am.

Tara

Welcome to Super Save-a-Bunch.

Hi, I'm looking for that thick translucent plastic sheeting. The kind that they hang in front of the doors of walk in refrigerators.

Tara

Uh... We don't sell that here. You can try at Home Depot's.

I tried them already, they sent me here.

Tara

Aww.

Now I cannot believe you don't have that here. Oh, I don't even know what it's called!

Tara

Sorry.

But you're supposed to have everything!

Tara

Well we don't have that stuff. That you don't even know what it's called.

Your website says that this is the most well stocked store in five parishes! Now, I just drove over an hour from Marthaville-

Tara

Uh-huh. Does our website have a phone number?

Well I suppose it does-

Tara

So it never occurred to you before you drove an hour to pick up a phone and call us to see if we stocked whatever the hell it is you're looking for?

Well I think that if a business chooses to classify it's self as-

Tara

Why didn't you just find it online and have it delivered to your house? Or were you just looking for an excuse to wear them ugly ass clothes?

I would like to speak to your manager!

Tara

Fine! WAILON! Trust me, you are not getting me fired. I am quittin. You were just the fuckin catalyst and for that I otta thank you!

You are a very rude young woman!

Tara

Oh this ain't rude. This is uppity. [slaps Wailon across the face] That's for pattin my ass to much! Imma get my baby daddy who just got out of prison to come and kick yo teeth in.

Jesus Tara please don't do anything-

Tara

Oh my God! I'm not serious you pathetic racist! I don't have a baby! Damn! I know y'all have to be stupid but do you have to be that stupid? Shit! Fuck this job!

Jason

[sitting in the freezer, really worried] I think I might'a OD'd.

Tara

Oh, my God. On what?

Jason

V.

Tara

You're doin' V now?

Jason

It was my first time.

Tara

Where on earth did you come across V in this town?

Jason

[hesitant] Lafayette.

Tara

My cousin is dealin' vampire blood now? God damn idiot. Well, at least that explains why I walked in on you dancin' around in that Laura Bush mask yesterday, 'cause I gotta tell you, without a reason, that was some fucked up shit! All right, let me see it.

Jason

Huh?

Tara

How long have you had the erection?

Jason

Well, how do you know?

Tara

Um, I read. You're not the first vain-ass, body-conscious ex-jock to overdo the V and wind up with an acute case of priapism!

Tara

[throwing items at Lafayette] Stupid! Fuckin! Bitch!

Lafayette

[swinging baseball bat] Bring it on, hooker! I was all parish in high school.

Tara

Why didn't you tell me you were going out with Sam?

Sookie

Because it just happened and how did you know?

Tara

Arlene. She works fast.

Sookie

All he did was ask me to the DGD tonight and besides it's in a church. And why shouldn't I? He's perfectly nice, he's got a good job, and he's not a vampire! And why, why do I have to justify this to you?

Tara

I'm entitled to know what my girl's up to, aren't I?

Sookie

[about yelling at a neighbor] I shouldn't have lost it like that.

Tara

Don't you feel sorry for yellin' at that snoopy old bitch. She's been stickin' her nose where it don't belong for years.

Lafayette

Say it. I mean, if she talked any more shit she'd be shaped like a toilet.

Lafayette

[looking at all of the food brought by the town] What the fuck is it with white people and jello? I don't understand.

Tara

What the hell we gonna do with all this?

Lafayette

Toss it. Sookie don't need no bad juju cooking.

Tara

Bad juju?

Lafayette

Way to a man's heart is through his stomach. That shit true as gold. You put some love in your food and folk can taste it. [picks up the cornbread] Smell this. You can smell the fear and nastiness comin' off that cornbread.

Tara

[takes a bit] Tastes just fine to me.

Lafayette

See bitch. You gonna wish you ain't did that. Watch.

Tara

[about vampires] Do you think they're capable of lovin' a person?

Lafayette

Who knows what they're capable of.

Tara

[about Maryann] So, collecting stray black people. That some kind of hobby of hers?

Eggs

[laughing] She's right about you. You are funny.

Tara

Oh, yeah? What else she tell you about me?

Eggs

She said you crashed your car with a gallon of whiskey in your lap.

Tara

It was vodka. Really cheap vodka.

Eggs

Hey, I'm not judging you... Believe me. When Maryann found me, I was... let's just say I was a hell of a lot worse off than you. She's a miracle worker. You'll see.

Tara

Yeah, well. I won't be stickin' around that long.

Eggs

It's too bad.

Tara

My momma, when she thought somethin' was too good to be true, she'd say, Satan in a Sunday hat. That's exactly what this is.

Eggs

You know it took me a long time to stop looking over my shoulder too. But there's good people in this world. Sometimes, good shit happens.

Tara

Sookie?

Sookie

[wakes up, medicated] Tara. You look so pretty. Like someone turned on a light under your skin.

Sam

[smiling] Hospital gave her pain meds. She's... she's a little loopy.

Tara

[in tears] Didn't you listen when I said I'd lose my shit if anything ever happened to you?

Sookie

Don't lose your shit. I'm fine. Did Sam tell you he saved my life? He turned into a dog and bit Rene.

Lafayette

[laughs] Well, shit. I'm gonna need some of them drugs they gave you.

Sam

Okay, you guys. We should let her rest.

Sookie

Sam, you should let people see the real you. Cause you're kind, brave. There's nothin there not to love.

Sam

[smiles and winks] Right back at you.

Tara

Maryann, why does Sam hate you?

Maryann

Sam hates me?

Tara

He practically jumped down my throat after you left last night. Kept saying I need to stay away from you. Why would he say that?

Maryann

Well I mean, I barely know the man. But if I had to guess, I'd say jealousy. You two have a history, don't you?

Tara

Yeah. But we're better as friends than we ever were sleepin' together. We both know that.

Maryann

Tara, you're still not valuing yourself. You are a fantastic woman. Sam lost you. He's just looking for someone to blame.

Tara

But why you?

Maryann

Because you've moved on and hopefully, I've been apart of making that happen. Sam seems like a sensible, wonderful guy. But all my instincts scream unevolved.

Tara

[laughing] You're right. That man has way too many issues.

Maryann

And they're not your problem. Unlike Carl, you've done enough of taking care of people to last a lifetime.

Tara

[from outside, knocking on the door] I know you're in there, even if you won't pick up the phone!

Lafayette

Damn, hooka. Shit! [gets up and opens the door, letting her in]

Tara

How come I have to hear about you being back from Sookie?

Lafayette

What else did she tell you?

Tara

That you got shot and fed on and chained up in some vampire dungeon!

Lafayette

Sookie need to keep her mouth shut and so do you.

Tara

Have you been to the hospital?

Lafayette

Whatchu think is gonna happen if I show up to the ER with a gun shot wound? I don't need the police up in my business.

Tara

You need to see a doctor.

Lafayette

For what? So they can give me drugs I already got?