Pam quotes from True Blood

Pam

[to Jessica] Let's go to the ladies room and stare at ourselves in the mirror.

Pam

(to Bill and Eric) Holy shit gentleman. Do not tell me you'd put our entire species at risk for a gash in a sundress!

Pam

Vintage Cartier, I’ll take good care of this.

Pam

[seeing the carnage in Sookie's kitchen] Color me impressed. You guys know how to party.

Pam

(seething, to Nora) I don't know about the world but I'm about to end your face!

Pam

You humans love your pain don't you? You just love being in it. You even consider it a virtue. Cry the most at a funeral, you must be the best person. You promise to never forget each other, you promise to feel the sting of loss forever because for y'all forever is just the blink of an eye. Your lives are pathetically brief. When we say forever we have to mean it. So we move past our pain, we heal, we move on because pain is a worthless emotion. For a time, my maker was everything to me. He released me. It...hurt. But now I'm over it, he's nobody to me.

Pam

Everyone I love leaves, everything I touch dies, so forgive me if I don't share your faith in my lord.

Pam

[as he walks up to Fangtasia with Sookie] Bill. Haven't seen you in a while.

Bill

I'm mainstreamin'.

Pam

Good for you. Who's the doll?

Bill

Pam, this is Sookie. Sookie, this is Pam.

Sookie

[smiling, extending her hand to Pam] Pleased to meet you.

Pam

Can I see your ID?

Sookie

Oh. Sure. How funny. Who'd have thought? Getting carded at a vampire bar.

Pam

I can no longer tell human ages. We must be careful we serve no minors... in any capacity. (looking at her id) Twenty-five, huh? How sweet it is.

Pam

[handing Sookie a leather outfit] Put these on.

Sookie

Oh, thank you. But I'm fine really. I'm just gonna dry out my hair and be on my way.

Pam

You're not going anywhere. Eric and your boyfriend aren't nearly done talking just yet.

Sookie

Is... Bill is some kind of trouble?

Pam

That's for the boys to figure out. Right now what you need to do is change out of your clothes... there's vampire in your cleavage.

Sookie

[looks down and gasps] Okay. Eeww!

Pam

Allow me. [takes the bloody piece out]

Sookie

Thank you.

Pam

I'm beginin' to understand the fuss everyone's makin' over you.

Bill

[while he is digging a grave for Jessica, to Pam] Would you leave her alone!

Pam

It's your own fault. You and your insane affection for stupid cows.

Bill

Just go away!

Pam

I wouldn't be here if the magister could trust you.

Bill

I fulfilled the conditions of my sentence! I murdered this innocent girl.

Pam

It was no murder. You drained her blood and gave her yours.

Bill

I fulfilled my loyalty!

Pam

Yes. But you're romantic, you're sentimental. You might do something to keep the little blood bag from joinin' our ranks. I follow my orders. I won't let you stake her before she goes to ground!

Bill

I'm not gonna stake her. I'm gonna set her free.

Pam

You've already set her free. The same as Eric freed me.

Bill

Everyone she's ever known will recoil from her. Everything she has ever loved has been stolen from her.

Pam

Oh please! There's no comparison. You've given that pathetic lump of temporary flesh...

Bill

Jessica!

Pam

The ultimate gift. You're a maker. You're a hero.

Bill

I find myself doubting whether you were ever truly human.

Pam

[smiling] Thank you.

Jessica

Hi Daddy.

Bill

What is this?

Eric

There are favors, and there are favors.

Pam

She is extremely annoying.

Bill

You can't do this! We had a deal!

Eric

Yeah, well now the terms have changed. She's yours. Unless you want to give me Sookie...

Eric

[Eric laughs] It's just a suggestion. [Eric retracts his fangs] Though a few nights with this one may change your mind.

Pam

Good luck.

Eric

[in Swedish] O du ljuva frihet. (Oh sweet freedom)

[about Lafayette's leg] How much blood do you think he's lost?

Pam

Oh, I still think he has something to offer.

I hate to let it all go to waste like this. Seems a shame we have to wait for Eric.

Pam

Well, maybe one day you'll be sheriff and you can make the rules.

I doubt that.

Pam

[happy] Me too.

Pam

[from behind him] Remember me? [as he gets jumpy] Aww, you do. How's life?

Lafayette

Not so good. Uh, is you real?

Pam

[looking around the freezer] Hmmm. This is nice. I could sleep here in a pinch.

Lafayette

What are you doin' here? I ain't said nothin' to nobody.

Pam

And I knew you wouldn't.

Lafayette

Why didn't the fuck ya'll just glamour me, huh?

Pam

Oh poor thing. We would have, but then you wouldn't have remembered that you owed us.

Lafayette

Owe you?

Pam

Eric sent me with a request. [holds up a small bottle of blood] You're back in business.

Lafayette

Oh no I ain't. I'm outta that shit.

Pam

So sorry. But you're very much back in this shit.

Lafayette

You locked me up and tortured me for damn near three mother-fuckin' weeks, 'cause you caught me selling V and now...

Pam

Now what?

Lafayette

What the fuck is vampires doing selling V anyway?

Pam

We're not. You are. Get to work. [tosses him the bottle and leaves]

Pam

[about children] You make me so happy I never had any o' you.

Eric

Aw, c'mon Pam, they're funny. They're like humans, but miniature. Teacup humans.

Pam

I hate them. They're so stupid.

Eric

But delicious.

Pam

You need to call the Queen.

Eric

The Queen is the last person I need finding out about this.

Pam

You're not the only one whose fate hangs in the balance here!

Eric

And what do you think the Queen will do if I tell her I've lost the one vampire who could link her to the dealing of vampire blood?! That I have no idea where he is?

Pam

What do you think she'll do if she finds out from someone else? Call the Queen.

Eric

There are times when I seek your counsel, Pam. Now is not one of those times.