Sam Merlotte quotes from True Blood

Sam

(to Emma) Hey Emma, let’s see if we can get Barbie to like me.

Sam

Listen, Nicole, you seem like a nice person but you don't know fuck all about my life. This is Louisiana, you know what that means?

Sam

Emma, come here. Listen, I want you and your grandma to take care of each other, okay?

Sam

I was wondering why death still surprises me.

Sam

I'm going to be honest here. When Andy asked me to give Terry a chance in the kitchen I wasn't so sure but he turned out to not only be one of the best employees I have ever had. I don't think he even missed a day but Terry he was one of the best and most loyal friends that I ever had.

Sam

Every single human needs a vampire and every vampire needs a human.

Sam

Sookie, you have no future with a vampire!

Sookie

They don't die. I've got nothing but a future with one.

Sam

[walking into Sookie's room] She's asking for you.

Bill

[turning from the window] Is there something you want to say to me?

Sam

I want you to stay away from her.

Bill

You know Sookie doesn't take kindly to people making decisions for her.

Sam

[pacing the room] You don't need to tell me who Sookie is... I know who she is. I've know a long time.

Bill

Then you'll also know this neither the time nor the place to... mark your territory.

[walking in with Malcolm and Liam, to a patron] Well, hey there sugar.

[to Sam] Get us three True Bloods.

Sam

You all need to go somewhere else. This is a family place. Locals only.

Well, we just closed on a place up the road. So that makes us official citizens of Reynard Parrish. We're the new locals.

Sam

My place, my rules.

Discrimination against vampires is punishable by law in the greater state of Louisiana. Personally, I don't give a fuck. But... I... am... thirsty.

Sam

You are not welcome here.

[laughing] That shit only works in a private home.

How nice to see you again, Sookie. You are looking delectable as always.

Sam

[to Sookie] You know them?

Sookie

We've met.

Well, well. It looks like little Miss hold out has given up the goods. Brava. Did he leave enough for the rest of us.

Sookie

I am his!

Well, he is not here, is he? And while Bill is away, Malcolm will always play.

Sookie

Do you think for one second I would ever have anything to do with you! I am sure you were trash while you were alive and now you're just dead trash!

I am going to drain you so slowly, you're going to beg me to kill you.

Terry

JIHAD THIS, MOTHERFUCKER! [running at Malcolm and being thrown across the room]

[to Sam] You are a dead man.

Sam

Maybe. But I'm gonna take one of y'all with me.

Sookie

Sam!

[after grabbing Sam] I'm gonna reach down your throat and yank you inside out by your dick.

Sookie

Hey, leave him alone!

Bill

[entering] Stop this! You're here for me, not them.

Well, we had to get your attention and I do believe it worked.

Bill

What do you want?

You never called me back. Now if I remember what feelings were, mine might be hurt.

Join our nest, Bill. Forget these blood sacks.

Yeah. Mainstreaming's for pussies.

Let's party like we used to, huh. We used to have so much fun.

Bill

[never taking his eyes of Sookie] All right. Let go.

Sookie

What the hell are you doing?

Bill

I should be with my own.

Sookie

But you're not like them. You're better than they'll ever be.

Bill

I am not human, Sookie. I am vampire.

Sam

[to Arlene, about her party] What do you want it took look like?

Terry

A débutante ball.

Arlene

[happily] Hug your neck! You know exactly what I'm talkin' about. [walks off]

Sam

How did you know what she wanted?

Terry

My cousin Portia was a deb, from Shreveport when she turned 18. Every Bellefleur woman has been doin' it since they started to have 'em before the Revolutionary war.

Sam

Must be nice to come from such an old family.

Terry

All families are old, Sam. Some just keep better records.

Sam

[after Bill has left] Can't you see what he's like? How can you even think about being with him?

Sookie

Sam, my living room is wrecked! I've got a killer, a vampire and a shapeshifter on my plate. Right about now I'm not thinkin' about being with anybody!

Tara

Sookie?

Sookie

[wakes up, medicated] Tara. You look so pretty. Like someone turned on a light under your skin.

Sam

[smiling] Hospital gave her pain meds. She's... she's a little loopy.

Tara

[in tears] Didn't you listen when I said I'd lose my shit if anything ever happened to you?

Sookie

Don't lose your shit. I'm fine. Did Sam tell you he saved my life? He turned into a dog and bit Rene.

Lafayette

[laughs] Well, shit. I'm gonna need some of them drugs they gave you.

Sam

Okay, you guys. We should let her rest.

Sookie

Sam, you should let people see the real you. Cause you're kind, brave. There's nothin there not to love.

Sam

[smiles and winks] Right back at you.

Sam

I don't know about you, but I think I've seen enough dead bodies to last me a life time.

Sookie

Except this one, I just don't get. With everyone Rene killed, you could see his rage. But this?...Cuttin' out that poor woman's heart? Someone just wanted to see her suffer! Every time I think I know what's what, it turns out...I don't know anything.

Sookie

[chasing after Sam] I know it seems like I led you on, but cut me some slack. My grandmother had just been murdered, Rene was after 'me', and I didn't think Bill was ever comin' back.

Sam

[stopping] Christ, Sookie! I really don't have time for this.

Sookie

Well, if you care about our friendship I suggest you make time for it.

Sam

Look, I got serious shit I'm dealin' with right now. Makin' you feel better is not high on my list.

Sam

I got no idea how we're gonna deal with a god-damned maenad.

Andy

A mae-what?

Sam

Wait. You don't remember any of what I told you last night? Or were you passed out, spent the whole fuckin' day in bed, sleepin' off your bender?

Andy

You said uh, Maryann was to blame for all this, the bug eyes and the craziness.

Sam

And the people showin' up dead with their hearts cut out, in the back seat of your car.

Andy

She did that?

Sam

Yeah. She killed Daphne too.

Andy

Fuck me... We got another serial killer.

Sam

Andy, listen to me. She is a supernatural creature and she is immortal. She has powers and she's not leavin' till she gets what she wants, which I think is me.

Andy

What's she want you for?

Sam

I think to cut out my heart while a bunch of naked people watch. All for Dionysus or Satan or for some god that has horns.

Andy

People thought I was crazy because I thought I saw a pig!

Sam

Well you did see a pig and you were right. That pig is a part of all this. That pig was... was doin' some of Maryann's dirty work for her.

Andy

Well if what you say is true, we need to kill that bitch!

Sam

She don't die. Remember?