Arlene Fowler quotes from True Blood

Arlene

(to her kids) You two wanna go trick or treating at the trailer park again getting bags of empty Coors cans and food stamps or do you want candy? Your choice.

Arlene

Sookie Stackhouse, I don't know who you think you are but last time I checked you were still a waitress at a little diner called Merlotte's and it says here that you have a shift and in case you've forgotten that means you serve people food and they give you money.

Arlene

I ain't taken that money,if I took it I would be apart of the same lie they are apart of and I won't do it.

Arlene

Didn't love the gun fire, but how come it didn't feel like the lie I thought it would? Not nearly as empty or meaningless as I feared. I actually think Terry would've been okay with this.

Lafayette

You look like a porn star with that tan and pink lipstick. You got a date?

Sookie

No. When I wear makeup, I get bigger tips.

Lafayette

[laughing] Yes, girl. Let's hear it! These damn rednecks are suckers for packaging.

Sookie

And I get even bigger tips when I act like I don't have a brain in my head. But if I don't, they're all scared of me.

Lafayette

They ain't scared of you, honey child. They're scared of what's between your legs.

Sookie

Lafayette! That's nasty talk, I won't listen to that.

Arlene

Do you even know what's between a woman's legs, Lafayette?

Lafayette

I know ever man, whether straight, gay, or George motherfuckin Bush is terrified of the pussy!

Sookie

Lafayette!

Ooh, what are we talkin about?!

Arlene

Hey, listen. Not everybody is gay, okay? Not everybody wants to have sex with you.

Lafayette

Oh, you would be surprised, Arlene. People you know... that's all I'm sayin.

Well, I don't wanna have sex with you.

Arlene

Me neither.

Lafayette

Y'all bitches don't know what you're missing. I got six gears up in these hips!

No, baby. You don't know what you're missing. You can watch it walk away. Make you wanna slap it?

Lafayette

Everybody know that. Everybody been there. John been there.

Arlene

Take these, baby. Peaches and cream.

Lafayette

I'll give you a little cocoa. Little cocoa. Ain't that right, John? Shit.

Sam

[to Arlene, about her party] What do you want it took look like?

Terry

A débutante ball.

Arlene

[happily] Hug your neck! You know exactly what I'm talkin' about. [walks off]

Sam

How did you know what she wanted?

Terry

My cousin Portia was a deb, from Shreveport when she turned 18. Every Bellefleur woman has been doin' it since they started to have 'em before the Revolutionary war.

Sam

Must be nice to come from such an old family.

Terry

All families are old, Sam. Some just keep better records.

Arlene

Oh sweet Jesus! Please forgive me. I had no idea, Sookie. I swear!

Sookie

Of course you didn't.

Arlene

I brought him around my kids. I slept in the bed every night with him and all that time, it was nothing but lies. I mean his name, his accent. God! You think you know someone. How could I not know?

Sookie

None of us did. Don't blame yourself, honey.

Arlene

Can't help it. I told you to stay out of my thoughts. Isn't that why you didn't listen in on Rene?

Sookie

It was like he kept that part of himself locked away in some dark corner of his mind.

Arlene

Sookie, I am so sorry. I want you to promise me smoethin', okay?

Sookie

Okay.

Arlene

Someday, if I ever find another man, I want you to look inside his head and tell me everything that's in there.

Sookie

Uh... Arlene, it doesn't really work that way.

Arlene

Promise me, okay? Cause I have the worst taste in men... Is, is Bill goin' to be okay?

Sookie

I don't think so... no.

Arlene

Oh, honey. Oh, sweet baby.