Maryann quotes from True Blood

MaryAnn

[to Lettie Mae] Ms. Thornton. MaryAnn Forrester. I've heard all about you. What a rare opportunity this is. I've always wondered what it'd be like to gaze into the eyes of some one so devoid of human compassion. That she would abandoned her own child when she needed you the most.

MaryAnn

[after she forced Sam to change] Abracadabra, Sam. What I just did to you, I can do anytime, anywhere. So unless you want your customers to know your little secret, you better think twice before you threaten me ever again.

Tara

Maryann, why does Sam hate you?

Maryann

Sam hates me?

Tara

He practically jumped down my throat after you left last night. Kept saying I need to stay away from you. Why would he say that?

Maryann

Well I mean, I barely know the man. But if I had to guess, I'd say jealousy. You two have a history, don't you?

Tara

Yeah. But we're better as friends than we ever were sleepin' together. We both know that.

Maryann

Tara, you're still not valuing yourself. You are a fantastic woman. Sam lost you. He's just looking for someone to blame.

Tara

But why you?

Maryann

Because you've moved on and hopefully, I've been apart of making that happen. Sam seems like a sensible, wonderful guy. But all my instincts scream unevolved.

Tara

[laughing] You're right. That man has way too many issues.

Maryann

And they're not your problem. Unlike Carl, you've done enough of taking care of people to last a lifetime.

Maryann

[coming in, all filthy] Good Mornin'!

Tara

Whoa! Maryann are you okay?

Maryann

I am fantastic! I slept outside last night and communed with my animal nature.

Eggs

[eying the dead bunny] No shit.

Maryann

[holds it up] This little fellow hopped by and I thought, hmm yummy! Rabbit stew.

Tara

Aww. Poor bunny.

Maryann

Feeling sorry for things is just an excuse not to celebrate your own happiness.

Maryann

[catching Bill and Sookie] What are you doing in my house?

Sookie

This is not your house!

Maryann

It is now.

Bill

I strongly suggest you remove yourself immediately!

Maryann

My! You found yourself quite a specimen. Though I dare say there's nothing stopping him from one day leaving you cold.

Sookie

You don't scare me.

Tara

Eggs?

Eggs

[tranced out] Baby! Where you been? I-I was so scared. Don't you ever leave me again, okay?

Tara

I won't, I promise. I love you. We gotta get you outta here, okay? Let's go somewhere else, please. [he doesn't move] Listen to me.

Maryann

[from behind her] But everything you want is right here. I knew you'd come.

Tara

No. I don't know what you are, but I want out!

Maryann

Oh, it's too late for that.

Tara

You made me eat somebody's heart!

Maryann

And you loved it. Admit it.

Tara

You don't want us. You want Sam. we ain't got nothin' to do with it.

Maryann

Nothing to do with it? 'You' summoned 'me'.

Tara

What?

Maryann

That night in the woods with that unfortunate pharmacist. You saw me. Well you saw 'you' through me. (flashes back to the fake exorcism)

Tara

But Miss Jeanette was a fake. She scammed people by makin' up crazy rituals.

Maryann

Ooh, a ritual is a powerful thing and calling forth that kind of energy... has consequences.

Tara

She was real?

Maryann

Sadly no. I should've known she wasn't the vessel, but you have to try every option, ya know?

Maryann

Come on, Sookie, it'll be our little secret. What are you?

Sookie

I'm a waitress. What the fuck are you?