[voiceover] Then it was my turn, and I had a problem. The speedo wasn't working, so I had to guess how fast thirty was, and I got it a bit wrong.
S4 E3May 23rd, 2004
S4 E4June 6th, 2004
[During the opening sequence.]
Tonight: Some big challenges; Can you play darts with cars?; Which is faster, a Ford or a pigeon; And can this new Porsche break the lap record on our track?
[while lying underneath a Porsche Carrera GT] I'm speaking to you now from inside one of the venturi tunnels!
Right, what we have here is a snooker table or as Richard Hammond calls it as he arrived this morning, "Crikey, a football pitch!"
My name... is Jack Bauer. And this is the most economical 24 hours of my life.
[After launching a car from a gas cannon down onto a parked caravan] That was a good feeling. Volvo kills caravan!
[At the end of the film]
You know? That's the nineteenth caravan we've destroyed on this programme in 12 months.
[On the new Mitsubishi Lancer and Subaru Impreza]
And the other thing is, every time they launch a new model, they try and outdo each other with the quantity of letters and numbers after the cars name. So! These are the two new models. This is the Subaru Impreza STi, WRX, WR, 1. And this is the Mitsubishi Lancer Evo. VIII, MR, FQ, 3, 20.
S4 E5May 30th, 2004
[During the opening sequence.]
Tonight: Thora Hird's wardrobe on our track; Richard gets whacked with 800,000 volts; and we take three cars to the birthplace of British speed.
I actually took a photograph of these two [Richard and James] just after they'd arrived.
Ah.
Would you like to see it?
AAudience
Yes!
Put, put it up.
[audience laughs at photo of Richard and James in motorcycling leathers]
Granted, that's not how we looked in our minds.
[singing] It's fun to stay at the YMCA, it's fun to stay at the Y...
But that's an illustration of why we don't want to wear crash helmets. You will kill yourself; but at least when they lay you out at your funeral you won't have helmet hair.
I suppose you could all dress up as red Indians and construction workers, that's another option.
What you don't know is that we do.
Something I've just thought about though is, that car's got an extra five inches in it so that ou get better rear leg room, yeah?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Why don't they just make them all that long? Because you don't buy a jag because you want a small car, do you?
(somewhat meekly) Some of us don't need leg room.
This is from Mistress Goth, from the e-mail and she wants you to be her dungeon bitch. (Audience laughs) I'm not joking. Dungeon bitch.
(stammers and looks uncomfortable)
(interrupting) She says, no, no, she says that you won't have to walk around on your knees because he's so short he'd be a perfect foot rest.
Again, I'm thinking no.
Okay, well, just before you make your mind up we've got a photograph. We've actually went onto our website and here's the picture.
Oh my! She is a sturty girl, isn't she?
If she's looking for a hat stand I'm available.
[discussing the death of J.G. Parry-Thomas at "the birthplace of British speed"]
Getting back to this head coming off business...
Yeah.
Presumably what happened was the car, what, dug in, flipped, rolled...
Several times.
Head came off.
Yeah.
Couldn't the same thing happen to us?
Ooh, I shouldn't think so.
Right.
[sitting in a rented VW Golf in Germany, waiting to be struck by artificial lightning]
My life is now in the hands of A-level physics.
S4 E6June 13th, 2004
[During the opening sequence.]
Tonight: We ask, can you run a car on a poo?; Have the Americans made something which can go round corners?; And the 'new' Jaguar XJS, is it any good?
There are shanty towns in South Africa that are built better than Renaults!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Top Gear pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.