[During the opening sequence.]
Tonight: Jordan makes a boob in our Liana; Ferrari and Porsche go to war on our track; And we have some crashes on purpose.
“May 23rd, 2004” · Season 4, Episode 3
In this episode: Jeremy Clarkson (14), Richard Hammond (8), James May (5)
(After seeing May's Audi 80)"You really can't believe that's a hundred quid car. I mean, I was ready to go, 'Oh no, James has bought a hen house'."
What I really do want is a radio.
(Listening to his radio) Robbie Williams played through a 1980's Volvo stereo.
I'd listen to radio 3! Or The Archers on 4!
(singing along) Thoughts running through my head...
Oh, I wish I had a radio!
That's the worst stereo I've ever heard in my life.
God, I wish I had a radio!
(smug) But it is a stereo. And Hammond doesn't have one.
[During the ride to Manchester in their £100 cars]
If I were a rich man, bidibidibidibidibidibidibidiboom! Okay, I've done "If I Were a Rich Man." Any other suggestions?
If I were a tall man?
Funny...Very funny...
There is, coming up ahead, an enormous cloud of smoke, which I can only assume is Jeremy.
[on the Italian police's Lamborghini Gallardo]
Yes, but we've been wondering all week, why? Because it is impossible to commit a motoring offence in Italy!
I've been stopped by the Italian police.
What for?
I was doing about 110 in an Aston Martin DB7. I overtook the police car on a left hand bend and he pulled me up at the next lay-by because I'd left the filler flap open at the garage.
It's a style thing is what you're saying.
What? Spoling the lines of the car?
He didn't even say anything. He came out and he went up and he went (mimes pushing the filler cap closed with a stern expression). I thought I was going to get a ticket for being unsetting.
[on the 1968 Dodge Charger's brakes]
(voiceover) But as for going from sixty to naught... Oh dearie me...
(nervously) I'm braking! (The car shows no sign of slowing.) Quite firmly! Fffff- (The car finally stops and Richard is visibly relieved) I was considering evasive then! Ha ha ha!
[watching Jeremy's £100 Volvo start it's speed run]
The thing is just not going away! It's still there!
[about to crash his £100 Audi]
Well... It's been good. I met Jodie Kidd... and Stephen Fry.
[James has just crashed his £100 Audi]
Yes, he's dead, so that's ten points away there! And if you want a job on Top Gear, please write to Top Gear...
No, no wait, look! He's coming 'round!
He's alive!
He lives!... That's not ten points off, though. Blast.
[on crashing his £100 Audi]
[rather upbeat] That was probably the most unpleasant thing I've ever done!
I have a slight problem... My speedo isn't working...
[about to crash his £100 Volvo]
GERONIMO!
[Just after he crashed his Volvo]
"Damn, Damn, I think I missed the wall."
[During the 996 GT3 RS vs Ferrari 360 Challenge Stradale]
"Eat my exhausts, Badoer!"
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