[During the ride to Manchester in their £100 cars]
If I were a rich man, bidibidibidibidibidibidibidiboom! Okay, I've done "If I Were a Rich Man." Any other suggestions?
If I were a tall man?
Funny...Very funny...
S4 E3May 23rd, 2004
There is, coming up ahead, an enormous cloud of smoke, which I can only assume is Jeremy.
[on the Italian police's Lamborghini Gallardo]
Yes, but we've been wondering all week, why? Because it is impossible to commit a motoring offence in Italy!
I've been stopped by the Italian police.
What for?
I was doing about 110 in an Aston Martin DB7. I overtook the police car on a left hand bend and he pulled me up at the next lay-by because I'd left the filler flap open at the garage.
It's a style thing is what you're saying.
What? Spoling the lines of the car?
He didn't even say anything. He came out and he went up and he went (mimes pushing the filler cap closed with a stern expression). I thought I was going to get a ticket for being unsetting.
[on the 1968 Dodge Charger's brakes]
(voiceover) But as for going from sixty to naught... Oh dearie me...
(nervously) I'm braking! (The car shows no sign of slowing.) Quite firmly! Fffff- (The car finally stops and Richard is visibly relieved) I was considering evasive then! Ha ha ha!
[watching Jeremy's £100 Volvo start it's speed run]
The thing is just not going away! It's still there!
[about to crash his £100 Audi]
Well... It's been good. I met Jodie Kidd... and Stephen Fry.
[James has just crashed his £100 Audi]
Yes, he's dead, so that's ten points away there! And if you want a job on Top Gear, please write to Top Gear...
No, no wait, look! He's coming 'round!
He's alive!
He lives!... That's not ten points off, though. Blast.
[on crashing his £100 Audi]
[rather upbeat] That was probably the most unpleasant thing I've ever done!
I have a slight problem... My speedo isn't working...
[about to crash his £100 Volvo]
GERONIMO!
[Just after he crashed his Volvo]
"Damn, Damn, I think I missed the wall."
[During the 996 GT3 RS vs Ferrari 360 Challenge Stradale]
"Eat my exhausts, Badoer!"
[revealing how much he paid for his Volvo]
ONE POUND! One pound! Yes! The Volvo! Losers! Losers!
JJJeremy and James
[upon Richards arrival] HE'S BOUGHT A ROVER!!!
[reading] "Each of you must drive your car into a wall at 30 mph. You lose 10 points if you're killed, 5 points for each broken bone, and 1 point for each blood injury."
Right. That sounds-...
I'm feeling quite relaxed, actually.
With your Volvo.
With my Volvo.
By contrast, with my Rover made entirely of rust, I'm feeling a bit scared. [to May, who is looking unhappy] James, are you all right?
Have a crash? On purpose?
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Top Gear pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.