Brock Samson quotes from The Venture Bros.

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VDr. Venture

Lock down auxiliary power!

Brock

Gotta make it to the border!!

VDr. Venture

Chewie, lock down auxiliary power!

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(The X-1 is crash landing)

VDr. Venture

Minefield, minefield!

Brock

I SEE IT!!

Dean Venture

Everybody into the black box! It's indestructible!

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(after the X-1 crashes)

VDr. Venture

Yeah, pretty sure my scoliosis is going the other way now.

My butt won't stop making a fist!

Dean

At least you have one.

VDr. Venture

You're blessed with your father's ass, Dean. Learn to love stadium cushions. I told you to lock down...

Brock

We don't have auxiliary power!!!

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(Brock Samson has just handed Doctor Venture a tooth containing arsenic)

Brock

Don't take all of it.

Or else what? I'll accidentally overdose on poison?

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(Hank scouts around the corner and sees several Underland Guardsman. He silently gives Brock a complex series of commando-style code gestures)

Brock

You have no idea what that means, do you?

Sure I do!

Brock

You're just having fun with your hands, aren't you?

No...

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Brock! Questioning?

Brock

That's the one.

(grabs the guard) WHO ARE YOU WORKING FOR? (guard spins and locks Hank) Ow!

Brock

We know that part, Hank. Like this. (grabs guard's groin, guard screams in pain) Where's the wedding be held? Talk!

GÜnderbheit Guard

Go ahead! The pain will be nothing compared to what the master will do to me if I betray him! (Brock clenches tighter, screams more) This is still nothing compared to what the master... (Brock appears shocked) What?

Brock

...Nothin'.

GÜnderbheit Guard

No, what?

Brock

I, uh... I don't- I don't know how to tell you this but I... feel a, uh... a lump.

GÜnderbheit Guard

Are you serious?

Brock

Yeah... I'm so sorry, man.

GÜnderbheit Guard

Oh. Oh god. Ooooh god.

Brock

Yeah, I just feel awful...

GÜnderbheit Guard

How do you think I feel?

Brock

Yeah, yeah, maybe uh... we should uh...

GÜnderbheit Guard

I... I must go to my wife.

Brock

Yeah, yeah. You should do that. (Venture points in the opposite direction) Hey, uh, I know it's a bad time to ask and all but...

GÜnderbheit Guard

The wedding. Yeah. Yeah, fine. I don't care anymore. It's in the observatory, on a flight up, through this door. (Hank moves behind guard and gives him a wedgie)

VBDr. Venture & Brock

HANK!!

Well I didn't get to do anything!!

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I have a sister? Named Dawn?? How long have you been keeping this from me?

Brock

Hank, no. I-I think...

Don't defend him, Brock! You knew about this, didn't you? Does Dean? What else haven't you told us??

DVDoctor Venture

Brock, you speak crazy, do something about him.

Brock

Hank, Baron Ünderbheit...

Good gravy! You're right, Brock! This is just what he wants. For us to turn on each other. And I played right into their hands. Dammit!

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RResistance

(gasps) Who are you?

The Wallflower! So we meet again!!

Brock

Nah, nah, the Wallflower had that thing on his head...

VDr. Venture

Lamest. Villain. Ever.

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Brock

Hank, no! It's suicide!

Well then I'll see you in Heck! (runs screaming down hall)

VDr. Venture

(sarcastically) Thank goodness, Hank's going to save us all. (glances at Brock) Oh, what are you so worried about? I can make another one. Hey, maybe he'll surprise us! He does get that kind of retard strength when he's all worked up.

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Brock

(watching the guild candidates attack the walking robotic eye) Well, I'm gonna go out there and get some of that action.

VDr. Venture

Uhh... Don't you wanna change?

Brock

No way. I love wearing a tux when I kill guys. Makes you feel kinda like James Bond.

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When the Gargantua-1 Space Station breaks orbit and crashes into a wanted terrorist, Colonel Bud Manstrong becomes a national hero. But did it really happen or is Bud's mother, the indomitable Mrs. Manstrong, behind an insidious plot to assassinate the President? The mysterious blinking band aid on Bud's head might be the key to a mystery only the ghost of Abraham Lincoln and Team Venture can solve.

[Doctor Venture is jealous that Bud Manstrong is getting so much attention]

They might as well give a medal to the seats while they're pinning one on "Luck Rogers" over there.

Brock

(with disbelief) "Luck Rogers"?

(chuckles) You like that? I almost said "Flash in the pan Gordon".

Brock

Glad you didn't.

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[Brock has just had an unfortunate run-in with Hauser, a member of the Secret Service]

Friend of yours?

Brock

We were in 'Nam together.

Oh. Wait, you were like 10 during Vietnam.

Brock

Well, I didn't say during the war.

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Oh, come on, Brock! This might be five minutes! I've been practicing my pitch all week!

Brock

(scoffs) You just have no clue, do you? These aren't a bunch of fake pirates or dicks in rubber butterfly suits, Doc. We're talking about the United States Secret Service.

Please, we'll both be off the hook when he feasts his eyes on what I've got to offer. The thing sells itself! If it doesn't I can't afford to pay you this month.

Brock

You don't pay me.

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Svengali!

Brock

No, no, this is not what it looks like!

First Anna, and now my mother? Have you no shame, you... you Mandingo? (takes of blazer and gets into fighting stance) Okay, get up! Were doing this! You and me, Samson! Right now! Let's go!

Brock

Come on, man. You know I'm just gonna beat you stupid. I've done it before.

A sucker punch! This time, "schoolyard rules." No cheap shots!

Brock

This is ridiculous! Your mother just...

No mothers!