Woody quotes from The Suite Life on Deck

NO! No more wee wee!

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Woody

How do you normally get off the island Brother Theodore?

BTBrother Theodore

Well, I told you. I have a little dinghy.

Woody

*laughing*

TSir Theodore

What?

Don't mind him, he's a little dingy. *Woody shuts up* What's in store for us next, Brother?

TSir Theodore

*looks at the list* Oh, let me see, uh...Oh, here you are. You're on the kiln list.

Woody

The kill list?! Please, I'm not ready to die! I promise I'll never make fun of your leaky dinghy again.

TSir Theodore

The kiln list, not the kill list. Though you're about to get on that one, too. [leaves]

He means we have to make pottery.

But I don't have to go!

Make "Pottery". Not "potty"! You guys get, what, like every other word?

Woody

Guys what every word? Is it just me, or is he hard to understand?

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FFrankie

[walks to everyone in a scuba diver suit] Mr. Moseby, I think I got to the bottom of things.

And?

FFrankie

It seems something clogged an air duct causing an internal rupture which cracked the window.

Was it my corn snips?

Was it my sujihiki?

Woody

Was it my powerful bowels?

FFrankie

[to Bailey] No. [to Cody] No. [to Woody] Ew. It was this pocket hanky! Apparently you dropped your hanky into the vent when you got scared by that dolphin and wet your pants. [she leaves]

(Everyone looks at Mr. Moseby.)

[smiles nervously] Oops. [his cellphone rings] Ah! It's Mr. Tipton! He's gonna wanna know who to throw off the ship. I don't want to leave!

We can't let Mr. Tipton fire Mr. Moseby.

Oh give me the phone! [takes the phone and talks to her dad] Daddy, I flooded the Aqua Lounge. It was all my fault. Yep, it's Switzerland all over again. Mhmm. Mhmm. Yay! Bye daddy! [hangs up]

Well, did he kick you off?

Nah. He just cut my allowance to 50,000 a week.

Looks like no one is leaving the ship after all.

[looks at his cellphone] I'm leaving the ship!

EEverybody

What?!

But it's Moseby's fault.

I know, but I just got an email from those producers about my hip hopera, they said it was the most ridiculous thing they have ever seen!

Then why are you so happy?

They said it's going to be the next big comedy. They're moving my whole family to New York; I'm going to star in a Broadway show! I'm going to be the lead tooth.

Comedy? I thought you said it was a serious love story about overcoming adversity.

Look, it's a stupid song about a girl with bad teeth.

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EEverybody

[singing] Retainer baby, retainer baby, I require that wire.

[still singing when everybody stops] Retainer baby! [makes weird noises then stops] Guess it's cake time.

Well Mr. Moseby thanks again for everything. Before I leave I want to give you something.

Please Marcus you don't need to do that. Your friendship is gift enough.

Well it's a Little Little t-shirt made into a pocket hanky.

THIS IS THE BEST GIFT EVER! [hugs Marcus and leaves]

Aww! This reminds me of my goodbye party when I left Kettlecorn except you're leaving and I'm not. And we're on a boat not on a barn. And there's not a giant twister barring down on us. [hugs Marcus] Oh Marcus, congratulations!

Thanks! [Bailey leaves]

[to Woody] Well Woody, I'm going to miss you.

Woody

Marcus, I always thought of you as a brother. A real brother. Not like this kid named Neil who's forty years old and lives in my treehouse.

Well I got nothing to say for that so let's just cut right to the man hug. [hugs Woody]

Woody

We're gonna miss you Marcus.

Just want to say good luck big guy. To think you'll be entertaining people while promoting proper dental care? I am so proud of you. [hugs Marcus]

I'm going to miss you Cody.

I'm going to miss you too.

[to Zack] Zack, I think I'm going to miss you most of all.

Woody

Hurtful.

I'm going to miss you too buddy. You know you're the only roommate I've ever had that I didn't hate.

Hurtful.

[hugs Marcus]

Well you guys, I just want to say thank you for everything. Before I came here I was going through a really, really tough time but you guys took me in. You made me feel like family and I will always be grateful to you so thank you. And if you guys are ever in New York, please just look me up.

You know what? We just might do that someday.

Someday? How about now? Take me with you!

Okay! [picks up London and starts to leave]

Next stop Tiffany's! Whoo!

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Woody

Zack we need your help!

Okay, step one: deny everything! Step two: if they don't believe step one, blame your twin.

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So, big change on someone's online profile.

Woody

Oh you saw I got my 10th friend, double digits baby!

Yeah, it's nice that your grandma finally accpted your friend request.

Woody

Actually, it was my mum, nana's still pending.

No, i'm talking about Maya's page. Looks like she just updated her status to 'in a relationship'. You know what this means Zack?

Yeah, she's really into me, can you blame her?

Noo-oo It means you've gotta change your status too, and well, your whole life.

Well I don't. I already got Maya. It's all smooth sailing from here.

Smooth sailing - just like the Titanic! You have no idea how much work it takes to maintain a relationship with a girl.

What work?

Well, they always make you put them first. Suddenly what you want doesn't matter anymore. When we started dating, Bailey made me join her stupid quilting circle!

Woody

You were in that before she was!

Whatever, my point is -

Woody

Actually didn't you start the quilting circle?

My point is you're gonna have to start making changes my friend!

No no no I'm not gonna change for anyone, not even Maya

[walks out laughing] That guy!

What does Cody know about women; except he's a pedicure away from being one?

Woody

So does this mean that you're not gonna change your status to 'in a relationship'?

No way! Just cause Maya changed her's doesn't mean that I have to change mine.

[Walks over] Hey Zack, did you happen to notice my status?

Well of course I did..

Sooo...

So it was very nice of you to do that.

And... [flips hair]

And.. I was just about to change mine, but I wanted to see your face when I did it.

Aww Zack!

See that's the face!

Woody

Way to hold your guns, pal!

[phone bleeps] Hmm? I just got a request from a Mildred Fink.

Woody

Nana! Hurtful!

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What's The Big problem?

Look at my room!

Your room is always a mess.

I Know but I always keep my dirty socks on the left side of the bed in case I trip while I'm on my way to the bathroom.

Woody

Oh so you have a comfy pile of dirty socks to fall in.

Woody

Clever!

But now they're on the right!

The Right!

You're not going to tell us it's the stupid captain ghost.

Shh! Don't Call him stupid! He might get angry

Woody

Why would a ghost be haunting you?

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Your help? You can't even write your history paper or fold your own underpants.

Woody

Who folds their underpants?

I do! Promptly after ironing them.

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Woody, stop pulling my blanket off my bed.

Woody

What? I'm not even near your bed.

Ah! Ghost! Ghost!

What happened?

The ghost, he pulled my blanket off my bed!

(starts whining) Or it fell on the floor.

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I offered to stay with her, but you know Maya doesn't like anybody to see her when she's sick.

Woody

I've never seen anybody puke like that. It landed all over the shuffleboard court!

On the upside, it landed on the 10!

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GAGuard at exclusive party

[To London] You. [To Zack] You. [To Woody] Not you.

[To guard] Look buddy, he's okay. He's with me.

GGuard

Do you want to go in or not?

Well, see ya! [Leaves]

I'll stay with you, buddy.

Woody

[As guard detains him] Go ahead. I'll be okay.

Thanks, buddy. [Follows London]

Woody

[To guard] I can't believe he actually went ahead!

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I really wanted to get a video of Rafi saying Hi to Maya.

Woody

[Holds up video camera] Got it.

You got it? You met Raphael?!

Woody

Well, not exactly. I was walking, and I dropped my glass on his foot and he said "Aiiiiiiii!"

Thanks, buddy. Maya's really gonna love this.

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[hits Woody]

Woody

Ow! What was that for?!

For having a pretty sister. [hits Woody again]

Woody

Ow! What was that for?

For not telling me about her. [hits Woody again]

Woody

Ow! What was that for?

Nothing. I just like hitting you.

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Woody

You broke my sister's heart!

Yeah!? Well She broke wind!

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I got a worm in my pocket.

Woody

Why?

...I dunno!