Moseby quotes from The Suite Life on Deck

[on cell phone] Yes, Captain, I want you to turn this ship around right away. We're missing a student. Well, here's why you should care: that student is London Tipton! [boat tips far to the side]

THAT'S IT. I've HAD ENOUGH of these (ship's horn blows) SNAKES...ON THIS (ship's horn blows) BOAT!

(with his clothes ripped) I'm BACK! (the students laugh) QUIET! (pause) It might interest you to know, that after you set me adrift, I was struck by lightning! Forced to LAND by a military helicopter. And eventually rescued...by a particularly loathsome baboon. I'll spare you the rest of the details, because after that, it got REALLY nasty. (the students laugh more) You think that's funny? Well maybe you'll think this is funny. PROM...IS...CANCELLED! (the students gasp and Moseby folds his arms)

Bailey, I'd let you stay; but unfortunately we don't have a cabin to put you in.

Zack

She can stay in my room. I'm willing to take one for the team.

I meant, a girl's cabin. Every girl has a roommate.

London

Except for me!

Bailey

Oh, London. Thank you. Thank you.

London, so nice of you to offer to share your room with Bailey.

London

I wasn't offering! I was gloating!

(to London) You know, the older I get, the more I realize that you have to look adversity in the face and say 'You don't scare me.'

(scream)

Carey

Moseby, you're shaking like a chihuahua.

Oh, sea breeze.

Carey

You probably shouldn't have left your pants in the drier for so long.

Oh, hello Carey. Boys.

Cody

Did you miss us, Mr. Moseby?

Oh why, yes yes. Why, without you, the last three months on this floating paradise have been sheer torture.

Zack

Well, your suffering's over.

Huh?

Cody

We're going to be attending Seven Seas High.

Huh?

London

They said they're going to be attending Seven (holds up 7 fingers) Seas (makes a letter "C" with her hands) High (waves her hand)! (Turns toward Cody) He's gettin' old.

Carey

Believe me it was not an easy decision, but it's such an great opportunity and I can afford it with my employee discount, so how could I say no?

Like this. NO! [jumps over the side of the ship]

Carey

Well, he took that better than I thought.

London

[taking notes] Favorite song?

[gasps] My heavens!

London

Likes gospel music. Favorite animal?

Zack!

London

A combination of a zebra and a yak.

London

Help! Help! There's a tiny injured be-sparkled man on the lose!

Cody

Nurse Frightengale said every time you call to check on the ship, it spikes your blood pressure.

So do you, but she let you in.

Mr. Tipton, you are doing a very nice thing.

I know, but I'm going to go through with it anyway. Marilyn, I like the cut of your gib. You look me up if you ever need a job.

Hey, what are you guys looking at? (sees Moseby floating in the air) Marion?!?!?!?!

EMMA!

How dare you! ...I finally get a boyfriend and you send him into the stratosphere.