Mr. Moseby quotes from The Suite Life on Deck

[reading a letter from London] "I can't take it anymore. No one understands me, no one cares about me. I'm going to a place where no one will ever find me! P.S. Please send my luggage to Daddy's villa on Parrot Island even though that's not where I'm going."

Holy hobgoblins! What is going on?

[On the phone with Mr. Tipton] Actually... I don't understand. We are having this graduation ceremony whether you like it or not. Good day, Mr. Tipton.

London

Unpack what? She can't afford any luggage.

Bailey

Why don't you guys just flip a coin?

London

Who has a coin?

Maddie

(holding a coin) I do.

Wonderful. Thank you Maddie.

Maddie! (they all greet Maddie)

Maddie

London, so good to see you. And Mr. Moseby, rockin' the knee socks.

And I have a crest.

Maddie

I see. And Cody, no sweater vest?

Cody

Oh Maddie, that was the old Cody. You're looking at the new cool Cody. (hugs Maddie)

Maddie

Ow.

Cody

Oh sorry. That was my astronaut pen.

Maddie

And you must be Bailey, London's roommate. Did she give you any space for your clothes?

Bailey

I just got upgraded from a nail to a hook.

Maddie

Nice.

Zack

Hey sweet thing. How about some sugar?

Maddie

Come here.

Zack

(about to hug her but goes to the pool and throws up in there then comes back to hug Maddie)

Maddie

I think I'll pass.

Carey

Mr. Moseby, it's so good to see you.

Ah. Here's your bill.

Carey

I haven't even checked in yet.

Mmm. It's for everything the boys have broken since they've been on board.

Carey

[reads the list] An anchor? Zack, how do you break an anchor?

Zack

Why do you always assume it was me? [Carey puts hand on hip] Okay it was me. In my defense, I was trying to impress a girl ....it worked.

Carey

[to Kurt] You think it's so funny? Here. You pay for it.

Kurt

[reads the list] How do you break a propeller?

Zack

Easy, you drop an anchor on it.

London

Moseby, it's your birthday? Wait, you have a birthday?? Since when???

Pretty much since the day I was born. Hence the term birth-day.

London

Oh, I never put that together. So, how old are you?

Now, age is but a number.

London

I have a feeling I can't count that high.

Well that's just the cherry on top of the birthday cake I didn't get.

London

Awww, who's a sad birthday boy. Don't worry Moseby, I'm going to get you the best present ever. What size pony do you ride?

I don't ride ponies.

London

I know, they can be pretty scary.

London

Happy Birthday Moseby. I hope you love it. I'm sorry I couldn't find any wrapping paper, so I wrapped it in hundred dollar bills.

I love it already.

London

What do you do for a living?

[sarcastic] I'm a ventriloquist!

London

Do you have a dummy?

Oh, yes I do.

London

Favorite play?

Go away.

London

Favorite movie?

Go away.

London

Based on the play?

Please go away!

London

Is that the sequel?

[screams]

London

[taking notes] Screams like a girl.

Zack

Yes you did. {Pretending to be a Jedi}

No I didn't. {Pretending to be a Jedi}

Cody

We're spies, not Jedi.

Don't talk, listen. Now, I am not going to fire Armando. I mean, you're the one who ruined the show. By the way, what happened to his real assistant?

London

Aw, don't worry about her. She's in a better place.

[gasps] London, you didn't!

London

Oh, don't get your hankie in a twist. Well, I just wanted daddy to get rid of her, but I forgot he was between wifes. So, now she's mommy number... [counts fingers] ...fourteen!

Oh, London, I see you have your backpack. You're ready for today's quiz?

London

Yep. [Opens backpack and pulls out a pillow] Pillow, to rest my wittle head on while everyone else takes the quiz, [Pulls out a nightmask] nightmask, to cover my wittle eyes so I can nap while everyone else takes the quiz, and for later, [Pulls out a fashion magazine] a wittle fashion magazine to read since I'll have detention for sleeping while everyone else took the quiz.

London, you have to try a wittle harder.

Just sign it, 'To Marion'.

Marcus

 Is that your mother?

Yes it is.

Star Wars!

That's not even a musical! What on earth, would make you guess Star Wars?!

But I thought you were trying to cut your own hand with a lightsaber.

That's the stupidest thing I ever heard!

Why are you yelling at me?! I'm getting married tomorrow!

Cody

Oooops

Oh ya, the oooops always makes it better. Perhaps you'd like to stick some bacon in my ears