Cody quotes from The Suite Life of Zack & Cody

Bob

Now that I'm in high school, I've decided to re-invent myself. I'm gonna be a jock.

Cody

(laughs) Oh, you were serious?

Zack

Cody? You got sent to the principal's office?

Cody

Not sent, invited! She likes to meet all of her honor students.

Zack

It's the first day at school!

Cody

I did some work over the summer.

Zack

I hate you.

Cody

I know.

London

The only bright side of my day is that Nia's miserable, too.

We just think you're great, Nia. It's about time someone stood up to Vance. And I just know we're gonna be the best of friends.

Nia

Aw, thanks, Ellen! (she gives London a look, as if to say "Mm-hmm")

London

(gasps) I just realized if you buy your friends, they're not going to really like you for who you are.

Cody

(mocking fascination) REALLY?!? Congratulations, London. You learned something on your first day of school.

London

Yay, smart me! (claps her hands)

Cody

London, there isn't enough money in the world to make me do your project for you.

London

Maybe not in your world; but in my world, I have enough money to buy your world.

Cody

Well, why don't you conduct an experiment that conducts the principles of gene splicing?

London

Ooh, I can do that. I mean, I usually buy my jeans with holes already in them, but I can slice them myself.

Cody

Argh. This is like talking to a potato... We'll make a potato clock.

London

Why would a potato need to tell time? Ooh, I got it: so it knows when it's done!

London

Cody, will you help me with my science project? The guy I used to use is all stuck up now that he won the Nobel Prize.

Cody

A Nobel Prize winner tutored you?

London

No, he just did the research and the writing.

Cody

Sorry, London, I can't help you. I have a book report due on Moby Dick.

London

I'll pay you.

Cody

The whale can wait!

Nia

[to Cody] You like listening to all that classical junk, right?

Cody

If by "junk" you mean the music of Beethoven, Mozart and Bach, then yes.

Nia

Look, if you help me, I can get my hands on Uncle Marion's symphony tickets to hear Yo-Yo Mama.

Cody

You mean, Yo-Yo Ma?!

Nia

Whatever.

Cody

I'm your nerd!

London

Cody?

Cody

London?

London

This is too hard!

Cody

It's two wires, a potato and a clock. How much easier could it be?

London

A lot... if you do it.

Cody

London, I'm not going to do it. I have my own book report that I have to finish.

London

If you finish this project for me, I'll write your book report for you. (London & Cody look at each other and then laugh) Seriously, finish the clock!

Daaaaaa----Daaaaaaa

Cody

Aww. He said his first word.

Zack

Actually his first word was "Aaaargh!". But still Awwwwwww.

Zack

Hey, Arwin! Break out your chainsaw. I need help carving my Zack-o-lantern.

Cody

At least when you stick a candle in his head, he'll be bright.

Zack

(laughs) Hey, wait a minute!

Zack

Arwin, there's something in the basement in your secret room!

Arwin

(nervously) I don't know anything about a secret room.

Cody

The one behind the bookcase!

Arwin

I don't know anything about a bookcase.

Zack

Arwin!

Arwin

I don't know any Arwin.

Zack

Sorry, but in my defense: I didn't know it was a bagpipe. I thought it was the new super octopus, the one with eight arms.

Cody

In my defense: I'm not Zack.

Cody

(sniffs Zack's shirt) Cologne... fresh shirt? Wow, Maddie should come home from Antarctica more often.

Zack

Yeah, well, my woman's back, and I'm ready to resume our relationship.

Cody

You mean the one where you hit on her and she laughs?

Zack

No. The one where she says, "You know, you look a lot like Zack, only older and a lot better looking."

Cody

Clearly the cologne has gone to your head.

Maddie

[to Zack] There's a giant spider on your head!

Zack

I feel the same- wha, wha, wha, wha? Ah, get it off! Get it off! (throws the spider in the box; running while rubbing his head) Mommy! Spider! (Maddie looks at spider in the box)

Maddie

Shouldn't you tell him the spider's off his head? (Zack runs back)

Zack

Ahhh!

Cody

(to Maddie) Maybe later.

Zack

Is this band class?

Cody

It's called orchestra!

Zack

Looks more like a dork-estra.