Zack quotes from The Suite Life of Zack & Cody

Cody

It's International Week at school, and I've learned to say things in ten different languages!

Zack

And I've learned to snore in ten different languages.

Carey

You have to figure out what you're going to do.

Zack

Don't worry. I've got International Day covered.

Carey

Bringing in a slice of Swiss cheese doesn't count.

Zack

What if I put it on a German kaiser roll?

Carey

Boys, why is there a woman with a fish at the door?

Zack

Mori-san.

Hi.

Cody

We invited our friend over for dinner. She's a famous singer from Japan.

Carey

Oh, yes! You're performing at the Nakamura Convention. I'm also a singer.

Oh, you famous, too? Singing in front of lots of people making lots of money.

No.

Carey

My fan club.

Zack. Cody. Where's Kumiko!

Zack

I only tell you if you promise not to get angry.

I promise.

Cody

Zack lost her at school.

Zack

I think he's angry.

How do you lose a woman!

Cody

You forget to cherish her.

Carey

Aw, and that's why your my special little man.

The Nakamori executives are expecting a brilliant japanese singer less than an hour and what am I to do?

Cody

Mom's a brilliant singer.

And there's just one problem, she's not japanese.

Cody

I don't think Harvey's right for Mom. And you're just happy because he's rich.

Zack

Ta-ta, no! I-I-I think he's a kind, caring man who — who happens to have a mansion with five bathrooms. We could all go at once, and still have one toilet left over!

Cody

Esteban, now you have enough money to pay for your little sister's quinceañera.

Esteban

Oh, yes. And I would like to thank everyone from the heart of my bottom!

Zack

Bottom of my heart.

Esteban

That, too!

Aw

Yeah!

Esteban

[to the twins] So, little blonde peoples, to help me help my little sister, (begging) will you please take my ballroom dance class?

Zack

We're into more manly sports.

Cody

Yeah, we're more slam dunks then, grande jeté!

Zack

And some of us are even to manly too say, let alone do, a grande jeté.

Jessica

Actually, I adore ballroom dancing.

Janice

Me too. It's so romantic.

Jessica

Really romantic.

(cheerfully turn to Esteban) SIGN US UP!!

Zack

Jessica, you're leading again.

Jessica

I'm leading because you're hesitating.

Zack

Well, I'm hesitating because you keep critising me.

Jessica

I'm criticzing you because you're not doing it right.

Zack

I'm not doing it right because you're yelling.

Jessica

You're the one who's yelling. (turns away from each other)

Jessica

Ow! You stepped on me again!

Zack

I stepped on you because your foot is not supposed to be there.

Jessica

That's where you lead me!

Zack

Ha! It'd be easier to lead a donkey!

Janice

Why are being so rude to my sister?

Zack

Oh, like it's my fault she pushes me around like a bulldozer.

Jessica

(gasps) I will not be spoken to that way!

Janice

No, we won't!

Cody

Wait, that was a compliment.

Janice

How?

Cody

I have no idea.

Cody

What's wrong with Janice?

Zack

She's got noodle arms. It's like dancing with spaghetti. I'll never win the junior division with her.

Cody

Then why should I take her?

Zack

'Cause you'll never win with anyone.

Cody

That is... probably true.

Zack

[to Cody] Why is she still here?

Carey

To remind you not to see anything inappropriate, like Bullet Sandwich or Zombie Mom.

Cody

Fine, but when you pick us up, no hugging and no calling us "my little men."

Carey

Why don't you just rip my heart out?

Zack

I think that's how Zombie Mom ends.

Cody

I gotta say, you were right about going to see Zombie Mom. All though I found the storyline was thin and the blood-drinking scene gratuitous, it scared the snot out of Janice. And she held on to me the whole time.

Zack

Yeah, great flick.

Cody

I could tell you liked it by your screaming.

Zack

I wasn't screaming. I was cheering. [Cody moves to turn the light off.] Don't you turn off that light!

Cody

Or what, you'll "cheer" again?

Cody

We haven't even had our first meeting yet, and you're already breaking the rules?

Zack

Look, I didn't join to follow a bunch of dopey rules. I joined so I could tie knots, climb things and start campfires.

Basically, all the stuff you do in my lobby.

Warren

This is no picnic, ma'am.

Bob

It is a tough, macho journey into the deep dark unknown.

Zack

TAXI!