Zack quotes from The Suite Life of Zack & Cody

Zack

[after the mother hawk flies away] Who is going to hatch the egg?

Cody

I will.

Zack

Okay, but you'd better squat real low.

What's going on?

Cody

There's something circling the hotel. I think it's a hangglider.

Zack

Get real. It's a flying saucer.

Cody

The hawk is back.

Zack

Where's it been?

Cody

I don't know. What am I supposed to do, ask it?

Zack

Why not? You talk to plants.

Cody

(to Moseby) We'll report you to the TGATPPWSHA.

The what?

Arwin

I made this sling to cradle the egg and keep it at hawk temperature.

Zack

How do you take a hawk's temperature?

Arwin

Very carefully.

Maddie

Rough day at school?

Zack

Yeah and it's all Cody's fault.

Maddie

Why? Is everyone making fun of you because your twin brother is hatching an egg?

Cody

(after finding out that Zack took money from the Save the hawk foundation to get a new camera) Zack!

Zack

Ok. I'll send 20% to a real hawk charity.

Cody

20?!

Zack

Fine. 50%.

Cody

50?!

Zack

100%. But that's as high as I'll go.

Cody

Bubba and I are doing just fine. I'm gonna teach him how to fly.

Zack

(sarcastically) Can't wait to see that test flight.

Zack

For Cody, two hundred single-ply napkins.

Cody

I wanted two-ply.

Zack

[throwing box in Cody's direction] Glue them together. [the box hits Cody's head.]

Cody

Ow...

Zack

Here's an ice pack. [prepares to throw it]

Cody

Never mind!

Carey

Honey, why don't you just walk the stuff in to him?

Zack

It's not my fault all he can catch is a cold.

Cody

Look, just because a man cooks and cleans doesn't mean he can't be macho and tough. [drinks from Carey's mug]

Zack

Hey, you're drinking out of Mom's sicky cup.

Cody

[screams like a girl]

Zack

Yeah, that's macho and tough!

Maddie

Hey, guys. So, how'd the summer job hunt go?

Cody

I tell ya, it's tough to secure employment in an economic climate where interest rates are climbing and large cap stocks are fluctuating wildly.

Zack

Plus, we got turned down by Taco Schmaco.

Maddie

Well, Señor Schmaco does like employees to see over the counter.

Cody

Zack, you told me you booked two dancers who looked like they were from the '60s, not two dancers in their sixties!

Zack

They looked good in this picture.

Cody

Didn't you notice the brontosaurus in the background?

Zack

I got beaten by a girl! It's the most embarrassing thing that's ever happened to me!

Cody

More embarrassing than the time in gym class when your pants fell down?

Zack

That was you.

Carey

Zack, I can't believe you're being that shallow.

Cody

Face it, Mom. He's as shallow as a kiddie pool.

Zack

At least I'm not scared to swim in one.

Cody

[to Zack] I just hope you don't act like a jerk again around Ella.

Zack

No, no, I'm going to be a perfect gentleman. And we're going back to Putt Putt Party and I'm gonna politely pummel her to a pulp.