[In the latest episode of "Itchy and Scratchy," Itchy has frozen Scratchy in an ice block for an ice-sculpting contest. Itchy begins to slice Scratchy with a chainsaw, but then Poochie walks in.]
ScratchyWell, look who's here!
IItchy
Hi, Poochie. You look like you've got something to say. Do you?
PPoochie
Yes, I certainly do! [his image freezes, and we hear Myers's voice dubbing over the image, saying...] I have to go now. My planet needs me.
[The animation cel with Poochie on it actually slides upward in a choppy manner as a slide-whistle sound is heard. Then a handwritten note in red marker appears, reading: "NOTE: Poochie died on the way back to his home planet."]
Wow! Poochie came from another planet?
Hey, that wasn't supposed to happen! Those finks double-crossed me! [see Krusty on TV]
Poochie's dead! [laughing; children in the audience cheer loudly] Well, kids, we all know that sometimes when cartoon characters die, they're back again the very next week. That's why I'm presenting this sworn affidavit that Poochie will never, ever, ever return! [Blue-Haired Lawyer examines the affidavit]
This document conforms to all applicable laws and statutes. [kids cheer]
[after turning off "Itchy & Scratchy"] Sorry, but if I let you watch one of these gruesome Halloween cartoons, I'd be a pretty lousy mother. Why don't you kids come trick-or-treating with Maggie and me?
Nah. It's too early. I need to work under cover of darkness.
Oh, Homer, you're not going as a hobo again?
Well, we're leaving. And remember, no Itchy & Scratchy. I better take these batteries just to be sure.
[singing] Mama took those batteries, she took 'em away. Mama took those batteries, size double-A!
There's got to be some batteries in here somewhere. Hmm...
Oh, Bart, that's plutonium. It's highly unstable.
Don't you ever get tired of being wrong?
Scratchy
Trick or treat!
What's wrong with the TV?
[After changing Lisa and the TV screen into red] Whoa! Cool!
[Holding the remote control] Bart, quit it! Hey Give--
Hey, Lise, we're characters in a cartoon!
Scratchy
[to Bart and Lisa] Why are you laughing?
IItchy
[to Scratchy] Hey, they're laughing at your pain.
Scratchy
[Picks up his head and puts it back on his body] That's mean.
IItchy
Let's teach 'em a lesson. [shaking Scratchy's hand]
[A trickle of blood runs down his forehead]
[Itchy loads a cannon with all manner of deadly objects]
BLBart & Lisa
[eyes literally sockets] AAH! AAAH!!! [They run out of the house. The cannon fires, and the kids have to duck to avoid the flying arsenal]
The Simpsons · 3,477 quotes
