Pig Two quotes from The Raccoons

This time machine is foolproof!

That must be why you're using it!

We'd better get that winning piece back, pronto!

Yeah... before the boss makes snack food... out of us!

About time! What's for dinner?

Tuna and potato chip casserole!

Escalope, cinnamon and lima bean potato chips!

And imitation bacon potato chip and marshmallow pie!

Ooh... I feel sick! (turns green and keels over)

The Swami says "peace of mind is money in the bank".

Money in his bank! He's making a fortune off the hat franchise alone!

And he scorns material wealth sir!

That's where I've got the edge! I'll meditate myself to millions! I'll buy a fleet of swamis!

Now remember sir, wild rages...

...and terrible tantrums...

...waste valuable energy!

And energy is power...

...and power is money...

...and money in the bank...

...is peace of mind!

Hey! I've found a fender!

Great. Just 3,425 parts to go before the boss will speak to us again!

We've hit pay dirt fellas! Simon's old trunk!

Now we'll expose that impostor for what he really is!

Yeah, an impostor! And the Boss will give us that raise!

I've been expecting this kind of unhanded chicanery! In fact, I've had a little quiz prepared just for the occasion. It should prove exactly who you are not!

Pigs

(in unison) All set sir!

Fasten your seatbelt 'Simon', you're in for a bumpy ride! Only my real brother can answer any of these questions! Fire away!

Um, um, what size boots did you used to wear?

Simple. Eight!

Uh, he's right sir!

He is? Well that's a stupid question! Anyone could have guessed that right. Ask him another one!

Er, okay... what colour were your old boots?

No peeking!

Green.

Right again sir.

What? A lucky guess. Give him a tough one this time.

Um, okay, um... did these boots have any buckles?

Is that all you're going to ask him? Questions about boots?! Who cares! Didn't you find anything else in that trunk? ANYTHING AT ALL?

All we got were his boots.

And here's three more! (He proceeds to kick the pigs away)

And now our question for you boss is...

When are we going to get a raise?

Never!

From all available reports, you're absolubtely right Cyril!

It's a benefit show!

Yeah? Well, I've never turned down a benefit.

Great! Follow us!

Er, who's the benefit for?

Us!

Er...Us, yeah. U-S. Unemployed stone farmers! Us!

Unemployed stone farmers? That's a good one on me.

But we were gonna surprise you boss, honest!

Surprise me? Then do something right! That'd surprise me.

What happened to you three?

It's a sad and a painful story.

Oh yeah. We didn't even see the cement truck! No, not at all!

And what do you think the chances are of being hit by a meteorite?

Zero. What can I do for you?

We want to place an ad. For a pilot.

A pilot? The race'll be over before the Standard comes out.

Well that's not our problem. But the boss can't say we didn't try!

I said, give me the car keys!

No way Jose. This is the boss' car.

He'd send us to the smokehouse if we let anyone drive it!

Mr Knox

Er, what's with the disguises boys? Does Mr Sneer disapprove of your catering business?

Oh no, the boss backs us all the way!

Yeah usually he's on our backs.

Er, besides, we're not in disguise!

No, no, it's er, it's er, protection from the sun!

The ozone layer, it's breaking down you know. And we're very sensitive to ultraviolet rays!

Mr Knox

I see...

Oh it's a disaster! Our first catering contract just went up in smoke!

No, he just went up the stairs!