Pig Two quotes from The Raccoons

I built this stuff into the mountain twenty years ago, and it still works!

Unfortunately sir, but...

That tree wasn't there...

TWENTY YEARS AGO!

This is the secret we've been protecting!?

You find something funny about a Sneer that gave away all his money?

Pigs

No sir! No sir!

A Sneer who gave everything away to charity? This statue is an embarrassment to me! It could ruin my image forever!

But sir, why don't you just destroy it?

Destroy it?!?

Oh yes sir, destroy it!

On top of by being quiet, humble, generous and kind, I also always keep my word.

Promise me!

I suggest you do the same.

Pigs

Yes sir.

Because if one breath ever gets out about this, it'll be kicking you off of the 50 yard line at next year's Superbowl! Is that clear?

Pigs

Yes sir!

Your secret's safe with us sir!

Our lips are sealed!

So's your fate! Now get this eyesore where no one will ever find it!

Hey you! Bring that umbrella back here! What are you trying to do, turn me purple?

Yes sir! I mean no sir!

Pigs

Boss! Boss!

Well? Did you find him?

Yes sir, we followed the girl like you said and...

He's with The Raccoons!

The Raccoons? I should of known! Their the ones who put him up to this!

But sir...

Those meddlesome rodents are a bad influence! The've got the poor kid brain washed!

But sir, you were the one who made him retire. You were the one who... (Cyril glares at him) ...heh, heh, em, saw through The Raccoons all along.

And don't you ever forget it!

What in blazes is going on??

It appears it's given up the ghost, sir!

You'll be ghosts if you don't get this barge moving!!!

No-one can outsmart the security system!

I can! I can outsmart anything, including myself!

Pop! You subscribed to the Evergreen Standard?

Of course! It's a daily pleasure I wouldn't miss!

Which section would you like today sir?

Well, let's start with 'Ask Bert'! (he tears the page out, throws it on the fire and laughs)

I want to hear a real story! Give me King Midas. I want to hear about Midas and his wonderful golden touch!

Bert

Once upon a time there was king with a golden touch.

Ooh, I like that. My kind of man!

Bert

Everything he touched turned to gold.

Good, good!

Bert

His cities were gold, his streets were gold.

Marvelous! Marvelous!

Bert

In fact, his whole kingdom was paved with gold. He even paved the forest with gold. What do you think of that?

Oh that's nothing! We're going to do that tomorrow - with cement!

You'll be in demand all across the globe! In France... (Shows a projection of an amateurish cartoon of the band)

Nice picture Lloyd!

Thank you! ...In India, in Egypt...

...and in Cleveland!

Bert

Cleveland? Wow! This sounds terrific!

Are you certain all safely precautions have been taken?

Don't worry sir. This place is sealed up tighter than the leftovers in a tupperware.

Tighter even than your wallet!

It's a bill from the Mammoth Power Company!

So what? (opens locker full of bills) We have hundreds of those!

Phew! Just in time!

Now we can unleash the water of Phase One.

But first thing's first!

Right! Lunch!

You call that a jump? Now lift that bar. I want it higher!

Higher sir?

Higher! Higher than my bank's interest rates!

Oh, your colored imagery is so good!

It's an existential statement.

I thought it was a tree.

It's a bird!

It's a plane!

No! It's Superclam!