Lady Baden-Baden quotes from The Raccoons

I do hope to see more of you at these functions.

(muttering) If there was any more of you at these functions, there wouldn't be room for anybody else!

Cyril, if you must insist on having pigs in the house, could you at least dress them up a bit? I have all my domestics wearing neckties. (She leaves)

(To the Pigs) The only neckties I have in mind for you three walking sausages are made out of rope!

Melissa

Who do you want to win?

Well, Mr Knox is so, so, you know! And Mr Sneer is so, so, you know!

Melissa

We do!

Mr Knox

Here's your credit card, Mr Sneer.

It's worn out!

Yes, I'm afraid I got a bit carried away. I had to rent a truck to get it all home!

Ooh, what an inspiration you are to all of us Sir Malcolm! I do hope you stay and answer some questions from our audience! Oh, there's one now! Yes?

Ever get trapped in quicksand Sir Malcolm?

Er, not permanently! Next?

Do you ever get lost Sir Malcolm?

Heh heh, not permanently! Next.

I envy you Melissa.

Melissa

Me?

You have a career. You have purpose. A direction in life. Me? I just flutter about on society business.

Knoxie and I had a terrible fight, in public no less! He demanded I resign from my job!

Bert

But why would he want you to resign?

That's exactly what I asked him! He said women have no place in the working world?

Melissa

How could he say such a thing in this day and age?

It's his upbringing Melissa. Old world, old values, old money. I told him to accept me as I am, or leave. He left, and tomorrow is... our anniversary! Oh Melissa, I'm so unhappy! (she sobs)

Bert

Don't cry Lady Baden-Baden.

Oh I'm not, it's the onions. Oh, but I do miss Knoxie so.

Melissa

I'm sure you and Mr Knox can work things out.

You manage a career and a marriage Melissa. How do you do it?

Melissa

Well, a little understanding, a little support and a little compromise... from both of us!

Compromise... not one of Knoxie's strong points.

(As the train she is riding on disappears down a tunnel) Knoxiiieeee! I looooovvvveee yooooou!

Did I miss something here?

Yes boss. The happy ending.

Cedric's horoscope says to rise above his problems. And according to Bert's horoscope, he might find himself in a high place!

You mean the mountains?

Yes.

I don't put much stalk in horoscopes Lady Baden-Baden, but I suppose it's as good place as any to start looking.

The stars never lie! Just ask Knoxie.

Mr Knox

I don't think consulting the charts will do any good my sweet.

But Knoxie, you've always depended on my charts to guide you.

Mr Knox

Well my dear, you see I always made my own business decisions. I couldn't hurt your feelings by telling you that.

Hmm... how interesting. Wonderful. My son's been out there all night while we've been looking in the wrong place.

Oh Cyril! I thought... I thought I was helping.

No one's blaming you Lady Baden-Baden. The mountains were as good a place to look as any. But where do we look for Bert and Cedric now? It's a big forest out there.

Why, I've just found out that the Sneers were one of the first to leave the old country and settle here.

One of the Sneers' greatest tax dodges!