Melissa Raccoon quotes from The Raccoons

Melissa

You heard me, Ralph. I get dizzy looking out the upstairs window.

Melissa

How was your run Bert? (Bert pants then faints) That's nice!

Melissa

Ralph, you're forgetting that the Standard was nominated for what it is. Not what you'd like it to be.

Did you bring me anything special Sophia?

Oh yes, Cedric!

Bert

Great! what is it? Peanut Butter?

Melissa

Even better, Bert!

Chocolate Pudding?

No, something you boys would really enjoy...Beans!

Beans?

Hey Melissa, let's try that secret handshake again!

I've got a better idea, let's all try it together!

This could be the end of the forest as we know it!

Melissa

This could be the end of our way of life!

Bert

Hey! This could be the beginning of a brand new career!

Hi, Cedric!

Schaeffer

Hey, what's in the bag?

Oh, nothing...just a few of my personal belongings...

Melissa

Cedric, is everything all right?

No, I've left home. Pop doesn't appreciate me. He thinks I'm just a living, breathing adding machine.

Melissa

Oh, Cedric, Cyril loves you...in his own mercenary way.

Good night Bert, Goodnight Cedric.

Goodnight.

Bert

Goodnight.

WAIT!

Bert

What is it?

I can't fall asleep, until I here my lullaby!

I don't think we know your lullaby.

Melissa

Why don't you sing it for us, and maybe we'll learn it for tomorrow night?

It's not the same unless Pop is singing it.

Help you break into my own vault? What do you think I am, a complete idiot?

Melissa

He is our only hope, Mr. Sneer.

If that dog leaves one hair in my ventilation shaft...

Melissa

It's my prints!

Bert

Tell him if the glass slipper's too big, he can borrow my hockey socks!

(About the Standard) Cut the banter, bandit face! Who's responsible for this?!

I am!

Melissa

I am!

Bert

Uh-uh-uh, they are!

(whispering) What's going on?

Melissa

(whispering) I don't know Ralph. But make like it's part of the play. The show must go on. (Speaks to audience) I have the most wonderful news! The royal family is coming to our forest.

The royal family? Coming to our forest? How soon do they arrive?

Er, um, I don't know. They should be here in a few minutes... unless they stopped for some last minute shopping!

What?! Er, last minute shopping?

Melissa

They're coming to bestow a special honour on one of our own! It's to be a surprise!

You're telling me.

Er, what brings you, fair knight, to our forest?

I was just in the neighbourhood... I er... I just thought I'd drop by. (he slips and falls over, causing the audience to laugh)

Melissa

Bert, isn't it a bit unusual to be up this early?

Nonsense Melissa, every day Bert rises at the crack of noon!

Melissa

Ralph! I think we've got everything we need for our canoe trip!

Bert

Yeah, Ralphie, uh... as an experienced explorer, I can tell you, uh... you gotta travel light.

Oh, yeah, that reminds me. Here, Bert. Pack these. They'll come in handy.

Melissa

Oh, no.

Bert

(chuckles) Hey, listen to this! 100 Different Moose Calls... Travel by the Stars... Official History of the Can Opener! (chuckles)

Boy, am I looking forward to this trip to the great outdoors! I just love roughing it!

Bert

Yeah! And you won't even have cable!

Melissa

Are you certain you'll be fine on your own, Bert?

Bert

Ah, don't worry about me, Melissa. Cedric and I are gonna hike, swim, fish, bike, and uh, play some ball, eh, then after lunch, eh, we'll catch a couple of movies, and uh, eh, climb Freens Peak. You know, relax and stuff.

Melissa

Hey! I don't remember pitching the tent this close to the water! Something strange is going on here.

Nonsense Melissa! It must have been a heavy dew!