Ralph Raccoon quotes from The Raccoons

All you have to do is confront your fears. Head on.

Well, that's it, Melissa! Now we're ready for anything!

There. It all fits! And it's as light as a feather!

...And in the end, we can truly say that Cyril Sneer was, without a doubt, truly... pink.

Face it, Ralph. Some guys make the news... and some guys just write it down.

What Melissa wants to talk about Bert is…our private time.

Bert

Our private time? But Ralph, I love our private time! Why I even love our private time when Melissa is with us too!

That’s it? That’s the fort you guys have been bragging about?

Well... I guess it does need a little work here and there.

A little work? It needs an architectural firm!

Well Cedric, those beans ought to hold you till morning.

They'll hold me for a month!

Did you bring me anything special Sophia?

Oh yes, Cedric!

Bert

Great! what is it? Peanut Butter?

Melissa

Even better, Bert!

Chocolate Pudding?

No, something you boys would really enjoy...Beans!

Beans?

Hey Melissa, let's try that secret handshake again!

I've got a better idea, let's all try it together!

This could be the end of the forest as we know it!

Melissa

This could be the end of our way of life!

Bert

Hey! This could be the beginning of a brand new career!

Hi, Cedric!

Schaeffer

Hey, what's in the bag?

Oh, nothing...just a few of my personal belongings...

Melissa

Cedric, is everything all right?

No, I've left home. Pop doesn't appreciate me. He thinks I'm just a living, breathing adding machine.

Melissa

Oh, Cedric, Cyril loves you...in his own mercenary way.

Good night Bert, Goodnight Cedric.

Goodnight.

Bert

Goodnight.

WAIT!

Bert

What is it?

I can't fall asleep, until I here my lullaby!

I don't think we know your lullaby.

Melissa

Why don't you sing it for us, and maybe we'll learn it for tomorrow night?

It's not the same unless Pop is singing it.

(About the Standard) Cut the banter, bandit face! Who's responsible for this?!

I am!

Melissa

I am!

Bert

Uh-uh-uh, they are!

Bert

What did I tell you? See, see? I bet that guy has a submachine gun!

That's a violin case Bert.

Bert

But they always put machine guns in violin cases! Everyone knows that!

(whispering) What's going on?

Melissa

(whispering) I don't know Ralph. But make like it's part of the play. The show must go on. (Speaks to audience) I have the most wonderful news! The royal family is coming to our forest.

The royal family? Coming to our forest? How soon do they arrive?

Er, um, I don't know. They should be here in a few minutes... unless they stopped for some last minute shopping!

What?! Er, last minute shopping?

Melissa

They're coming to bestow a special honour on one of our own! It's to be a surprise!

You're telling me.

Er, what brings you, fair knight, to our forest?

I was just in the neighbourhood... I er... I just thought I'd drop by. (he slips and falls over, causing the audience to laugh)