Cyril Sneer quotes from The Raccoons

(As the train she is riding on disappears down a tunnel) Knoxiiieeee! I looooovvvveee yooooou!

Did I miss something here?

Yes boss. The happy ending.

Knox uses astrology to foresee the future!

Well you three won't have one if you don't start talking sense.

We'll do better than that sir! We'll talk dollars and cents!

Cedric's horoscope says to rise above his problems. And according to Bert's horoscope, he might find himself in a high place!

You mean the mountains?

Yes.

I don't put much stalk in horoscopes Lady Baden-Baden, but I suppose it's as good place as any to start looking.

The stars never lie! Just ask Knoxie.

Mr Knox

I don't think consulting the charts will do any good my sweet.

But Knoxie, you've always depended on my charts to guide you.

Mr Knox

Well my dear, you see I always made my own business decisions. I couldn't hurt your feelings by telling you that.

Hmm... how interesting. Wonderful. My son's been out there all night while we've been looking in the wrong place.

Oh Cyril! I thought... I thought I was helping.

No one's blaming you Lady Baden-Baden. The mountains were as good a place to look as any. But where do we look for Bert and Cedric now? It's a big forest out there.

JP and Knox are inside the athletic club Boss.

I can't picture Knox doing pushups!

Oh my... they were here!

The steam bath boss! They must be in there!

(walking into steam room) Good work boys. You'll get a raise for this.

A raise!

JP? JP Gordon? Have I got something for you!

(horrified) Oh, there's a man in here!!!

Oops... so much for our raise.

Alright... I'm through pussyfooting around! We're going to tunnel into Knox's mansion!

Oh, Lady Baden-Baden won't like that, boss. You know how she hates muddy footprints all over the house.

Why, I've just found out that the Sneers were one of the first to leave the old country and settle here.

One of the Sneers' greatest tax dodges!

I thought I'd lost you there Pop.

We Sneers don't disappear as easily as that. And we've got hundreds of years of history to prove it son!

I know that Pop... even if I'm not a real Sneer.

What are you talking about?

It's okay Pop, you don't have to keep it a secret anymore. I know I'm adopted.

Wha... where'd you get that crazy idea? No wait. You're not adopted son. I'm the one who's adopted.

Bert

Cyril Sneer... adopted?

Does that make our contract invalid?

Well son, times were different then. Being adopted was sometimes kept a secret.

But why couldn't you tell me?

Well I wanted to. But I kept putting it off. The longer I waited the harder it got. I guess I was afraid you'd think I wasn't a real Sneer.

Gee Pop, as far as I'm concerned you're the greatest Sneer ever!

Thanks son. That means a lot to me.

A truly spectacular show, wasn't it Mr. Sneer?

Terrific!

Anyway, you'll be pleased to hear I have decided to purchase one of your vaults.

But Tromboni got out of it!

My dear Mr Sneer, surely you are aware that magic is the art of illusion. What you see is not necessarily what happens. Can I expect delivery of the vault tomorrow?

Sure Knox. But what you saw is not necessarily what you're going to get.

We were planning to practice our tennis serves.

If you don't get out to that warehouse I'll serve you... with apples in your mouths!

(About his cakes) I hope the bumping around didn't ruin something.

I certainly hope not!

Pop! What are you doing here?

Oh, I had to get out of the house. I thought I'd drop by. But what are you doing at the schoolhouse?

I tried to tell you Pop. We're holding a fundraiser to save this school from closing down!

That's the problem Pop.

Why, what's this?

Whoo hoo hoo? Poor kid who had to wear that ridiculous costume?

I wore it. In the Easter play.

Oh? Well, what do I know about fashion?

You screamed sir?

What are you pork pies doing, trying to make spectacles of yourselves?

Oh no sir, they're for reading Mudman Comics!

Reading comics on the job eh? Well read my lips. Deliver these boxes to Willow's store. N-O-W. NOW!

(on the intercom) Pigs! It's time we fix that phantom's wagon. You three get over to that theatre, find the phantom and get rid of it! I'm going to be part of Knox's big deal, even if it kills me!

Hm! He means even if it kills us!