[through a megaphone] Listen to me! I love you! And I don't care that Phillip's not my son! I will raise 100 children with 100 of your lovers if it means I can be with you!
This is a ring taken from the buttocks of my grandmother, put there by the gangster patriarch of the Coors dynasty, melted in a foundry run by Mennonites.
It all seems so very arbitrary. I applied for a job at this company because they were hiring. I took a desk at the back because it was empty. But, no matter how you get there or where you end up, human beings have this miraculous gift to make that place home. [camera zooms out to show Creed in handcuffs, escorted by two police officers] Let's do this.
I sold paper at this company for twelve years. My job was to speak to clients on the phone about quantities and types of copier paper. Even if I didn't love every minute of it, everything I have, I owe to this job. This stupid...wonderful...boring...amazing job.
I thought it was weird when you picked us to make a documentary. But all in all, I think an ordinary paper company like Dunder Mifflin was a great subject for a documentary. There's a lot of beauty in ordinary things. Isn't that kind of the point?
