Janice quotes from The Muppets

Janice

  I can totally soothe that burn with this healing crystal.

Janice

  Did you know the original name of the band was Imagine Dragons?

Floyd Pepper

  That is their name.

Janice

  I know, they kept it.

Janice

  Oh, um, hey, Kermit?

  Yeah?

Janice

  Uh, there's a lecture on astral projection next Friday…

  Oh, oh!  So you want the day off?

Janice

  No, I'll be here.  I just wanted you to know I'll be there, too.

  How long have they been married?

Janice

  Oh, wow, like, how can you measure the intertwining of two souls?

  In years.

Janice

  Oh, then forty.

Floyd Pepper

  Aw, come on, Chenoweth, sing at the party!

  Yeah, yeah!

Floyd Pepper

  Look, my parents mean so much to me, without them, I don't even think I'd be here.

  [giggles]  Okay, I had so much fun with you guys and I'm open tomorrow so, yeah, let's do it.

  Well, thanks for nothing, Kristin Chenoweth; your selfishness just broke and old couple's heart.

Janice

  [whispering]  She said "yes".

  Withdrawn.

  Uh, question—about my seat belt.  I think it's just a guitar strap, uh, connected to—nothing.

Janice

  Everything's connected to something, if you think about it.

  Okay, I would just feel safer if mine were, uh, you know, connected to the van in some way, and not just air.

Janice

  Your van?  Last I checked, this van belonged to the universe.

Dr. Teeth

  Oh, is that so?  Well, maybe next payday, the universe can cut you a cheque.

Wait, what?

You guys get PAID?!

So, um, do you snorkel?

Janice

Oh, never! Snorkelling is an invasion of fish privacy.

Mmm, yes, which is why I always yell, "Are you decent?" before I jump in the water.

  So, I was thinking, you like Hawaiʻi…I like Hawaiʻi…maybe we…

Janice

  You're on fire.

  Oh, why, thank you.  [notices he is literally on fire, exits screaming]

  So, you guys remember how we did it in rehearsal?

Janice

  Oh, we'd like to do it different from rehearsal.

  Okay; well, then, why did we even rehearse?

Floyd Pepper

  Oh, 'cause if we don't rehearse, then there's nothin' to do it different from.

  [smiles]  Y'know, I actually dig that.

The office is no place for romance! That's why I am a lifelong member of Team Friendship!

Janice

Um, I, like, like friendship, but I, like, LOVE love, so, like, I'm on Team Love.

Me too! Uh... Boo, Team Friendship. Boooooooo!